Prison visit TikToks

[Emptychairdoasolo]

One video popped up a week or so ago and I watched it so now my feed is inundated with these videos. Young girls and women making videos like ‘get ready with me to visit my boyfriend’ ‘spend the day with me visiting my baby’ which was in fact their partner.

I absolutely do not begrudge men in prison having visits and I actually have very strong feelings about rehabilitation and safety in prisons, quality of life etc but AIBU to think this is just glamourising it?

For the younger girls and women 18-24 that I see, can use common sense and assume that the types of crimes their partners of the same age would be committing are assault, drug possession/dealing, drink driving. Hardly victimless crimes and it doesn’t sit right with me that they are putting that online for others to consume the videos and make a cutesy video out of it.

It makes me desperately sad reading the comments and so many people saying it’s their situation too and it’s girls so early into their adult life in relationships with these men.

The poster reads as immature, so pointless engaging further.

What are commuting crimes? Is that like farting on the train?

I see this is an old thread. I fall into the middle category. I’ve been with my partner 3 years and we’re both, what I would consider, perfectly normal people - we both have/had relatively good jobs, no prior incidents, no involevement with drugs or gangs or fraud. Just normal people. With that being said, he was involved in a fight outside a pub and is now awaiting trial.

I can’t profess to being an expert on people in prison but there very much seems to be a mixed bag - people who’ve made singular errors in judgement and people who consider it to be a home away from home.

On visits there are women with very young children, older children, people who look very startled. There are also, according to my partner, men exactly like how you describe: manipulating, especially those in for DV related offenses or obsessive and controlling behaviour which doesn’t stop when the go to jail.

I do think people who seek out relationships with prisoners are a bit unwell
and not unlike the women obsessed with serial killers however I understand I am in no position to judge ~too much~. I definitely anticipated much of the responses about the women being scumbags too so I wasn’t expecting a red carpet. This is definitely a personal decision I haven’t taken lightly - especially as it wasn’t a victimless crime which seems to be the big sticking point - so there is no expectation for others to hold any sympathy for my predicament or others like mine.

@TitaniumCranium we don’t know your DP or the details of his crime which most likely was unprovoked, he instigated or not a fair fight meaning your partner used excessive violence.

none of which sounds great. You have the information to judge whether you want to be with him still. But promoting it as some sort of lifestyle is completely different than handling these things in private.

That being said, a man who has used enough violence to land himself in court for trial isn’t a great partner and yes, I would judge you staying with him.

How pathetic are these women, not many brain cells in action there along with extremely low self esteem to stay with these loser men.

Absolutely, that’s your right and I also completely understand your perspective too.

As far as Tiktok goes, some of the women show what is probably a reality for a number of women. The vast majority do seem to be of traveller women or the girlfriend of Stephen Bear who do look to glamourize. My expectations for tiktok as a whole are pretty low as the majority of the content seem to offer not much in the way of informative content in the first place

So he is on remand @TitaniumCranium, it's more like GBH than a scrap outside a pub or this is not his first rodeo?

Exactly my thoughts. Most of the time scraps outside the pub are dropped by both men unless one has caused the other significant harm to the point of prosecution

You are both correct, it was more than a scrap - although there were no blows inflicted by my partner. He was arrested under the basis of joint enterprise

I really don't think any young woman or woman with decent self esteem and decent prospects in life would waste time dating these criminals, it's sad that they film it for likes on social media too but sadly not surprising.

How does Special Educational Needs imply children? Can adults not have SEN? it’s mostly used in schools because they’re educational settings, but it’s just a blanket term for learning disabilities, disorders and mental health problems. Most prisoners have some sort of disability/MH issue or abusive and neglectful pasts.

'Special educational need' is a legal definition and refers to children with learning problems or disabilities that make it harder for them to learn than most CHILDREN the same age.

Not a blanket term for issues that prisoners may have or have had as children.

Ok, but we aren’t talking legally. People use it as a blanket term to describe those things, the person knew what was meant by it. It’s just a quick and easy way of saying people have learning difficulties or differences, and on forums people use shorthand.

This thread has derailed a bit.

The prison TikToks are grim for sure. I feel for these women who see this as something to be glamourised. However, I am guessing, but really don't know for sure, that many have been brought up around men who have been in prison/who are dangerous so it's "normal". These are just the ones I have watched so may be different to others experiences with prison TikToks.

I saw one woman choosing her boyfriends high-end designer gear to take in. She spoke about how they argue when she's late, she was late, they argued and the whole visit was awful. I can only assume that either this woman has no-one asking her WTF she's doing OR they see it as normal OR she is in too deep OR she has no-one else.

There's a multitude of reasons for her need to stay and for her boyfriend being locked away. I do find it bloody sad 😔