Prison visit TikToks

[Emptychairdoasolo]

One video popped up a week or so ago and I watched it so now my feed is inundated with these videos. Young girls and women making videos like ‘get ready with me to visit my boyfriend’ ‘spend the day with me visiting my baby’ which was in fact their partner.

I absolutely do not begrudge men in prison having visits and I actually have very strong feelings about rehabilitation and safety in prisons, quality of life etc but AIBU to think this is just glamourising it?

For the younger girls and women 18-24 that I see, can use common sense and assume that the types of crimes their partners of the same age would be committing are assault, drug possession/dealing, drink driving. Hardly victimless crimes and it doesn’t sit right with me that they are putting that online for others to consume the videos and make a cutesy video out of it.

It makes me desperately sad reading the comments and so many people saying it’s their situation too and it’s girls so early into their adult life in relationships with these men.

People will be released like it or not

Most prisoners aren't Charles fucking Bronson, otherwise he wouldn't be so notorious, would he? Most of them aren't Fred West or Myra Hindley either, just to be clear.

I'm not saying people shouldn't be released my main problem is with posts saying prisoners are nice People, they aren't they are vile scum.

No they are not all scum. Just men,women and kids who have made mistakes

Certainly not 'scum'

You are beginning to sound somewhat unhinged! If you have been the victim of crime yourself I suggest you get hell and support from somewhere

They are all someone's loved one

Walk past any sheriff Court just before 10am and you will see that's its mostly the dregs of the earth waiting to go in and probably not the type of people you would have back for a cuppa.

So victims don't have right to call people scum.

Criminals are scum yes mistakes happen but most people don't go to prison for a minor mistake, you have to pretty seriously break the law.

Commiting a crime is always a scummy choice.

So someone who doesn't commit crimes is unhinged but those who commit crimes shouldnt be called scum really?

There's a lot of generalisation going on in this thread, prisoners are individuals so what is true of one may not be true of another. Also, I don't believe compassion is an either / or, nor do I experience it as finite.

@Northernsouloldies My role brings me into contact with some of the people you describe. Many of them are people who were unlucky to be born into a dysfunctional family and had difficulties from the outset. I think it's best not to judge when we haven't walked in their shoes

Particularly in Scotland there is a trend for no one to accept personal responsibility for anything this applies to if your under 25 and your brain isn't fully developed. At a young age you inherently know the difference between right and wrong. And if someone is a victim of crime or harrassment have they just to be a bit more understanding.

It sounds like Scotland have got it completely wrong

Scotland got it wrong?? Never!

Very regularly by the way

In my experience of working with offenders I would say it’s a mixture of people. But they have overwhelmingly come from dysfunctional backgrounds

Some offenders have got caught up in gangs, some are lone workers who feel the system is always against them some with a lot of work change their lives some just play the game and some will never be rehabilitated (sex offenders in particular)

going back to the op there are women who are attracted to a certain type of offender one who will most likely have a reputation they are charismatic they have an edge to them they are for these women exciting to be around I myself have had to sit in meeting after meeting to discuss how we best can protect her children, make sure she isn’t being financially exploited and so on

This is so true.

If your behaviour doesn’t define you as a person, what does?

Well I’ll judge because I have walked a mile in their shoes. I grew up with a father who sexually abused me between the ages of 3 and 8 and a mother who neglected me, yet somehow I’ve managed never to rape anyone, abuse a child, beat someone up, deal drugs, kill someone etc. Why? Because despite what happened to me, I’m not a prick.

@Naunet what happened to you is awful. I'm not condoning that at all

It was, and that’s why I don’t think having a bad childhood is an excuse. I personally believe that as far as more serious crimes go at least, it’s a reflection on the individual person’s choices and personality, not their past. We can’t pretend these men don’t have autonomy just because they may have had bad childhoods, they freely made a choice to commit a crime. I don’t think over empathising with them is helpful.

My dad may have been abused when he was a kid (I don’t know), but that doesn’t make what he did to me any less evil. He made a choice as a grown man.

What I meant is that most of us have done 'bad' things, not necessarily illegal, or maybe if they are, not necessarily convicted, but I do believe good people are capable of bad behaviour....otherwise we'd all be bad. People canaletto decisions when they're not in a good place and we might not be so moral ourselves under similar circumstances.
I also like to think that some criminals aren't really aware of the victims perspective when committing the crime. Many feel remorse afterwards when they're able to reflect. Do they remain 'bad' for ever.
Of course I do know that some people can never be rehabilitated.

Ah this old chestnut, saying we all have done bad things.

Nah we haven't all done bad things and apart from tiny minority good people don't commit crimes that end up with them incarcerated.

It really isn't that easy to get sent to prison these days.

It seems this thread is full of apologists for scum.

@Againstmachine I can see you feel really strongly about this, but we're not just talking about 1 type of person. People are in prison for a variety of reasons.
I have experience of the prison system.
So a young 15yo girl had been sexually abused since the age of 4, she reported it but the family didn't believe her, when she got to 15 she finally snapped and killed him. She was sentenced to life minimum term 13 years. She is not scum, she was actually a really kind woman.
Another woman who was pregnant, was speeding and had a car accident which killed her husband, the family of her husband begged the judge not to send her to prison but she was sentenced to 4 or 5 years, her baby was born in prison and then taken off her, she isn't scum.
Another 15yo girl was convicted murder by joint enterprise, she didn't have anything to do with it, but because she was there, was charged and convicted. She went on to work for the princes trust and is now doing really well for herself, she isn't scum.
A late teen who severely beat a man who was raping and beating his mother in the next room, he heard her screaming, banged the door down and found the man strangling and punching his mother whilst trying to rape her, they had a fight and the man was seriously injured, he got away scot free whilst the son was sent to prison for GBH. He was not scum.

I have many more examples, these are just 4 off the top of my head, but my point is, that whilst I understand there can be a "type" of person who is in prison, it certainly isn't all, and the majority of them have had a severely fucked up childhood. I would suggest, so you don't continue to look so ignorant that you open your eyes to the potential reasons someone may be in prison, because it isn't as black and white as you seem to think.

There is definitely older women visiting men in prison as well op they probably just don't tik tok it

I feel like your being very judgemental

As I said a tiny minority aren't scum but most are in fact of your examples the joint enterprise one yep she deserves to be in prison as she didn't do anything to stop it.

And the speeding woman deserves to be in prison, she had no reason to be speeding and what she did killed someone through he behavior and could have killed more.

You have two tiny minority but this thread is mainly about women being with scumbag men who are usually scummy dealers etc.

There's a difference between deserving to go to prison and scum, she made a mistake no doubt, but many people speed, it's was a tragic accident, it doesn't make her scum.

I'd like to see you as a 15 yo girl trying to stop 20 youths from 18-24yo fighting......again your rush to judge shows you think everything is just black and white, and it's just not.

And I said there is a minority who aren't scum but most are.

That'd not being black and white I'm giving that minority benefit of doubt.

But most people in prison are scum.