Prison visit TikToks

[Emptychairdoasolo]

One video popped up a week or so ago and I watched it so now my feed is inundated with these videos. Young girls and women making videos like ‘get ready with me to visit my boyfriend’ ‘spend the day with me visiting my baby’ which was in fact their partner.

I absolutely do not begrudge men in prison having visits and I actually have very strong feelings about rehabilitation and safety in prisons, quality of life etc but AIBU to think this is just glamourising it?

For the younger girls and women 18-24 that I see, can use common sense and assume that the types of crimes their partners of the same age would be committing are assault, drug possession/dealing, drink driving. Hardly victimless crimes and it doesn’t sit right with me that they are putting that online for others to consume the videos and make a cutesy video out of it.

It makes me desperately sad reading the comments and so many people saying it’s their situation too and it’s girls so early into their adult life in relationships with these men.

Why are you calling them SEN when they aren't children?

It’s not the men in prison, it’s the women who are trying to get their 5 minutes of fame which is the issue here.

Its embarrassing what some people will do to become ‘famous’ online.

You watching these videos are giving them exactly what they want and you’re the reason why so many keep doing it.
If a video has millions of views then of course it’s going to glamourise it.

I think someone's being pedantic. The statement 'there are some good people in prison' means exactly that.
Saying it's mostly untrue is incorrect. If there were only 2 good people in prison it would satisfy the statement. There are definitely at least 2 sothe statement is correct. What maybe should have been said is that most people in prison aren't good. That's probably accurate.

I've said elsewhere that I know 'good' people in prison and bad people out of prison.

You're absolutely right @LolaSmiles. Women as support humans was the gist of it. It's about ten years ago that I spoke to my acquaintance about it, so things might have changed in more recent years now there's more of an awareness of power imbalances and coercive control etc. However, I can see support on release is one of the considerations, so I imagine the conflicts are still there.

Yes you are correct.

Some men in prison are obviously just bad people but most have special needs who have been coerced into doing something or didn’t have the support growing up to know right from wrong.

Apparently at least half of all prisoners have some sort of learning disability. And fortunately it is becoming more well known now and things are being put into place to help them like help with reading and writing, instead of just punishing them which usually results in committing other crimes as soon as they get out.

Yeah anyone who has visited someone in prison knows it's not glamorous.

If anyone thinks different they must be a bit daft.

@regustering because YOI is from 18 and SEN covers children and 'young people'

And there's education in prison

I'm calling rubbish on this.

This thread is just excuses for people commiting crimes.

Shame no one cares about victims.

I don’t have anything to add but I always cringe when prison related threads pop up either here or elsewhere as the inevitable ‘I work in one’ newer type of person into the prison service will arrive and proceed to discuss topics they shouldn’t or put out information they shouldn’t.

Politely - please think on current HMPPS staff.

@Againstmachine
You are completely wrong you are judging what they mean to you, you ignore the victims of the crime and most of the time there is a victim....

No, I'm not ignoring that, I'm taking in the full picture and considering what brought them to where they are. I've just come to a different conclusion. To put it in perspective I believe the majority of prisoners are selfish/entitled. I also know some prisoners who've committed awful crimes. They are under no illusion how much their actions have harmed their victims. They just dont care enough. These are bad men. Some have pleasant personalities, but it's hard to see past their crimes. They define them.

Againstmachine there's some interesting correlations between low literacy levels and offending behaviour and I believe that undiagnosed

The problem is that the issues are complicated and correlation doesn't equal causation.

Are adults with an offending history back to their teens engaged in criminality because they didn't do well at school, or did they not do well at school because the sort of community they're in and their families didn't value education and we're rather hands off on their children's criminal activity?

Some people like to try to explain away personal responsibility though so instead of considering the victims of crime, there's endless whataboutery to ensure the people with criminal histories are centred.

There are some very odd things on Tik Tok.

Get ready to come to hospital to have my baby....saw one of those recently

I don't care what brought them where they are.

Plenty of people in those situations make different choices, commiting crime is a choice.

I agree that these TikTok videos are posted for attention and status. All of the women in the videos I've seen were similar. They seemed proud of having a boyfriend who was in prison. Pathetic really.

Put two soldiers through the same traumatic battle. One gets shell shock, one doesn't. It doesn't mean the battle didn't cause the shell shock in the veteran who has it.

Many prisoners are from horrific childhoods, with undiagnosed and/or unsupported SEN or mental illnesses.

There are prisoners who end up liking prison because it's the nicest place they've lived, with a routine and guaranteed hot meals. Their first taste of stability. Isn't that fucking horrific?

It's possible to have compassion for people who have done horrible things. Do I think it's potentially unwise to tether yourself to such a man, especially when you are young without much life experience? Yes. But these men aren't animals and most aren't psychopaths.

And many prisoners arent from bad backgrounds and are just scum.

PTSD is completely different and you know it.

As I always say 'many' as this allows for the small minority, but it seems people seem to think most aren't responsible for their crimes it's the upbringing.

It's crap everyone knows it is but we don't admit it.

PTSD is trauma having an effect on someone's brain. So is BPD, which can give rise to all sorts of abusive behaviours. You can track over generations, kids going into care and then giving up or having taken their own children.

We owe the "lowest" amongst us a chance. A real chance at rehabilitation, a real chance at education. Or what are we doing giving them anything other than whole life terms?

I care more about the victims and let's not pretend it's petty crime, these people are involved in rapes, murders etc.

You can care about victims and criminals. Caring about criminals and wanting them to have the resources to avoid being triggered into going back to their old ways is caring about them and society.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Either we should have a punitive "fuck them, they're damaged goods" system like the US with three strike laws and such, OR we should invest heavily in making sure the prisoners we are releasing are equipped to have fulfilling law-abiding lives in the community.

Right now, we have neither.

If someone can be triggered they have no purpose in society.

@Againstmachine

Instead of calling things you don’t understand rubbish, why not educate yourself.

Unless people are willing to look at the reasons why people commit crimes, then we’ll never be able to reduce the crime rate.

What a disgusting thing to say.

@Againstmachine you are sounding ridiculous!

These people will be released wether you like it or not. Much better they use time inside to better themselves than have them being treated badly.

Most of reason people commit crimes is easy money try living in a northern city there isn't some hidden agenda it's what is.

Really so easily triggered people have a place in society no thy don't and the exact reason Charles Bronson want released.