Trans etc at school / all going too far?

[Peverellshire]

AIBU to think that there are a growing number of below 16s identifying as opposite gender?

Incidents in school where pupils called out for not acknowledging ‘Brian is now fully Bryony’. Etc. As example.

AIBU to think that these sensitive discussions and explorations should all be realised, if appropriate, post school, when children are young adults? For many reasons. Pref Pronouns in primary school, ok?

I work in schools and yes, big increase in transgender pupils compared to 10 years ago.

There should be guidance so this is consistently responded to. Which was going to happen by the start of this term, i.e. several weeks ago. Or was the government's promise just one before local elections to try to seem concerned?

Great that despite a very vocal minority of anti-transgender activists young trans people now feel safer coming out. Progress !

Yep. Nobody in my whole year group at school was homosexual, yet bizarrely quite a few came out shortly after leaving school. Amazing what tolerance beings

I agree, the whole movement is regressive, sexist, homophobic and dangerous and the fact its being pushed so heavily on kids is really disturbing.

I am going to get shot down in flames.

I completely accept that some people genuinely are trans, there always were people like this and there always will be, and it's so much better it's acknowledged and not weird, just who they are.

But I am not convinced that a lot of the kids now who say they are trans are fully aware of their sexuality at such a young age. My DS is straight, but spent two years identifying as gay. I knew he wasn't gay, and he now openly admits it was easier to say he was gay, and not have to deal with dating and girlfriends.

I also know of a 14 year old girl who was taking medication to halt periods etc., as she wanted to be a boy. It was very hard when she got to 17 and decided she had been wrong and now wanted to be a girl again.

I think it's ok to be accepting, but where does accepting end and inappropriate enabling start? I am not convinced that preferred pronouns in primary is the way to go.

When I was at school there was term tomboy who was a girl that preferred "boy" activities. Most of them grew up into women.

It’s the opposite of progress unless you’re looking for a more sexist, homophobic society that sterilise children based on what toys they play with.

But it’s progressive, innit.

Oh look more conspiracy bs

It's horrific that children feel the need to identify as something they are not in order to live as themselves

It's even more awful when to live as their true selves they take the medical route that harms their bodies

Why can't people be their whole true authentic self ? Why do they need to deny their sex in order to do that ? Why do they need to use different names and dress codes to get people to take them as they are ?

Agreed

I have a child (now an adult) who is trans.

We set limits that we were comfortable with, and didn't infringe on anyone else at all. We had moved areas and nobody knew about my dc where we were.

The school needed to check off their 'inclusive' boxes and tried to push my child into things they weren't comfortable with at all, without my knowledge.

For example, my child was allowed to use a specific toilet/changing room, but the school tried to get them to use the toilet/changing room of the sex they identify as.

My child and I decided on absolutely no hormones or blockers or medical intervention at all, it was tough for my child, but we discussed things multiple times, at length and agreed it was the correct way. The school bombarded my child into going to the doctors one day to request an appointment at a gender clinic, I got a call from my child asking me to intervene as they were overstepping so much.

There were so many incidents over the 2 years my child was at that school.

In the end my child's mental health suffered so much due to the school basically bullying them that I home schooled for the last couple of years of school.

It's great that there's support now, but it goes far beyond support ime.

I am currently concerned about the year 7 "furry" my dd has told me about in her school.

I think a lot of the issues stem from the ultra femininity we see on tv, on the internet etc. it's makes ordinary girls who perhaps have more "masculine" interests question they are a real girl. My own dsd has expressed how she felt inadequate because she wasn't a girly girl and wasn't glamorous - really dented her self esteem and I can see how for many it goes further and they want to strip away the womanhood that is causing this upset.

As I'm female and most know f-m I'm not sure if its completely reversed for m-f eg not feeling masculine enough to be a boy?

Schools are caught in a difficult place, I don't think changing their names is actually that big a deal, I just don't agree with any medication 18, ideally older (I fully accept there are true trans people, just not all those currently identifying)

How so?

I am really struggling how it is progressive for children to believe that they are the opposite sex and potentially go on to a life time of medication rather than thinking it's fine to be a boy or girl who doesn't follow gendered stereotypes?

When I was growing up I hated girly things as does my daughter now. I didn't think I had to be a boy to act like one. I can't see how it's progress to tell girls who don't conform to stereotypes that they must be boys or vice versa.

There’s a few furries in my children’s school, one or two in each year group.

the year 7’s seem to be a bit of an anomaly year with a large group being trans with different names etc.
whilst I don’t doubt some are, it’s also clearly a fad and a way of fitting in for others.

the school seem to be doing a good job of inclusivity though, I just hope it allows them to go back to normal IF that’s what the child wishes.

Also you talk about "coming out" like it was the equivalent to gay people

We can tell who is gay even if they haven't come out - enough to know that the same proportion of people are actually gay in any society and culture around the world

We can't do that with transgender. It doesn't have any physical symptoms, it can't be measured

There isn't actually scientific evidence that it is anything but a response to a set of social conditions

I’d be interested to see the figures for people who actually go on to medically transition as opposed to identifying as the opposite sex or being non-binary. I work in a university and the vast majority of people seem happy just identifying in the way they choose. Which might change throughout time or might not.

Are you saying that gay people have physical characteristics which identify them as being gay even if they haven’t come out? Because that’s what it sounds like.

Yes agreed. Although anecdotally I have heard that a fair number of girls who either identify as boys or non binary go on to have double mastectomies when they reach 18 whether those procedures are privately funded or on the NHS I am not sure.

I know one of the big criticism of GIDS that came out in the Cass Review was the lack of records that were being kept.

It does seem that it is more likely that females will have gender affirming surgery than males as the women can have a penis / lesbians can have penis thing is demonstrating.

My Ds’s class there was 5 girls claimed to be transgender - there was a lot more through the year.
There was not one boy transgender- it concerns me greatly - it seeems to be such a large number of of girls in this situation .

I am completely opposed to any medical intervention before at least 18 but imo should be 25 because that in medical research is when the brain in fully developed .

My own Ds went from a sexual to gay to straight . All the time I encouraged him to not label his feelings in a box he liked who he liked and there sex didn’t matter

Not really, it's just reinforcing gender stereotypes.

Oh you're a bit, but you like princesses and kink. You must actually be a girl?

Funny how so many "trans" kids feel the need to dress in stereotypes. noone bat an eyelid at a girl just running round in joggers playing with diggers one day, or wearing a dress the next.... But no, little Freddie can only "be a girl" if he dresses up in a dress and plays with dolls. It's not progressive at all!

It's telling us Girls are X and boys are Y.

It's undoing DECADES of equality work, hard fought by people to get women acknowledged as equals to men. And now here we are telling girls they are girls only if they like pink, sparkles and rainbows...

I

No - I am saying that people have tells - things like what makes their eyes widen and heart rate increase - and for gay people it's when they see someone of their sex whereas for heterosexual it's when they see someone of the opposite sex that they find attractive

Apologies that wasn't clear

Honestly I think it all just boils down to respect. I will call any student by their preferred name and pronouns because they deserve respect. It would also be disrespectful to insist on calling anyone by a name they don’t like or use.. for example Catherine instead of their preferred Cathy or using someone’s maiden name when they’ve made it clear they want to be Mrs X. It’s not my place to decide if they are trans, NB or confused but it is my place to demonstrate respect. You don’t have to like it to respect it.