To think men can NEVER be mothers

[Leafstamp]

I am furious that men like this think they can call themselves mums/mothers. This deserves a wide audience, hence posting in AIBU.

(11) Paul Embery on Twitter: "ITV news did a piece about the impact of soaring water bills on an everyday mother. So naturally they got a man to play the part. t.co/b0ipO7loUE" / Twitter

I don't see why soaring water bills would generally impact mothers - or in fact, parents and guardians of childrens - differently from fathers. It seems sexist/stereotypical (and therefore exclusionary rather than inclusive) to have to wrangle someone into the role of "mother" just to raise awareness about water bills.

Followed by

I saw this and thought it was a joke. Of all the female mothers they could have spoken to they chose a man mother who looked like he was from the 1950's

Utterly bemused by the 15% of people who think the OP is being unreasonable.

Men can't ever be mothers. I don't really understand how anyone can dispute this. Yes, I suppose trans men can be mothers, but if you believe that trans men are actually men, then you probably won't want to call them mothers in any case.

Men can be fathers. And apart from being pregnant/giving birth and breastfeeding, I'm absolutely of the view that fathers can do anything that mothers can do. But they cannot actually be mothers.

This is just basic common sense, and I despair of the fact that we even have to have this debate when previous generations would have thought it so obvious.

Sometimes men are the better parent than women - certainly the case with my brother who did 90% of the parenting whilst he wife struggled with PND and returned to her career quite early on for her sanity. I'd say men like my brother are in the minority though and he definitely didn't want to be called the kids' mother - he was just a really good dad who carried most of the load.

Maybe "default parent" is a better way to term what I mean - 99% of the time, mum is the default and when she isn't, dad gets lauded as a "hands-on dad". He's still not a bloody mother though.

"It's tough if you're a mum like me"

No one is a mum like you because you're not a mum.

There is also a breast pump on the draining board.

No they are men, they can only be fathers. Sorry if that's controversial

Please could someone who has decided you are unreasonable advise me why the term mother can no longer be deemed' adult human female who has given birth or taken on that role by adoption /fostering or by being in loco parentis' ? Do you consider it to be a detrimental term or what? Why do you want men to be mothers? Why do you want to appropriate every term that is used for the female of the species?
Please advise, because this is doing my head in.

You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.

(I think that's how the saying goes.)

🤣🤣🤣 yep, using the washing up bowl for a laundry basket, he's clueless. He'd save on his bills if he didn't wash 3 items at a time too 😆.

It really pisses me off. It’s basically saying, ‘Women! You don’t woman well enough, so we are getting a man to do it for you.’

There was a brief shiny period when woman started to speak for themselves, and now this. Back to the media picking men to speak for us.

Could save money on water bills by having a proper washing basket and not that egg cup sized one so less loads are needed.

Right, what’s next, world peace? The economy? Global healthcare?

Same.

The perception of needs is very different to the perception of self.

And pointless to argue about, because you can never know who got it right in any given situation. A baby can't tell you.

Meh, I don't see what gender has to do with the issue they're talking about so I don't think it matters.
Also men can be parents, and if they want to describe what they're doing as being a mum (and this person was definitely fulfilling a stereotypical gender role of mum) I don't think it has anything to do with me. I understand there being an academic discussion on whether gender or sex is more important and on being gender critical. I also understand the worry about young teens transitioning when they don't fully understand the consequences. But this...? Complete meh, can't understand anyone getting their knickers in a twist.

Freddie whatserface gave birth to a child and tried to be registered as the kids father on the birth certificate.

The answer was NO.

Females cannot be fathers according to the court, so one has to presume the reverse is also the legal position.

And am I the only one to find the focus on the breast pump disturbing?

Do you feel this about other words? Or just the word ‘mum’ and ‘mother’?

Is it getting your knickers in a twist to object if people start calling felines ‘dogs’ or things we sit on ‘tables’?

It's all bollocks. Quite literally.

Yeah, I also don't care if people call cats dogs etc.. I won't understand them but I'm not going to get angry about it.

The voice doesn't quite match and if you google the name they're quite open about their background and having moved from one gender (box) to another.

But if they're a Thames Water user speaking from the perspective of a parent what would be different if they presented as a 'bloke'/dad?

Why can’t they? What difference does it make if it’s a mother or a father anyway in this scenario? Last time I checked being male, female, trans, cis, nonbinary or any other identity had nothing to do with your water bill?

Because I don’t give a shit how someone else decides to define their role as a parent. It’s nothing to do with me. Men can fulfill the exact same role as a woman parenting wise, women can fulfill the exact same role as a man. So if a woman wants to be a dad and a man wants to be a mum, then whatever. That’s quite aside from the trans issue. If I as a ciswoman decide I want to be called dad, I will. It’s not that I want men to be mothers, it’s that I don’t care if they are.