Would it be awkward/problematic in your family to date outside your race?

[Saramax]

We were discussing interracial relationships at work the other day and I’m intrigued to see how people’s families would react to them dating person of a different ethnicity.

YABU - it would probably be awkward
YANBU - it would be completely normal

I married outside my race. Literally no one in my family cares they love him

For my family it would be more of a cultural thing. If someone was from a different culture, religion, language etc it would be awkward and I think parents would be like why couldn't you find yourself a nice x person. But if someone was raised similarly I don't think skin would be the issue.

If I'm really honest my parents were total snobs so it would depend on education and where they lived. A doctor or middle class professional from any race or creed would trump anyone from local council estate or working class background. Very narrow minded people but not racist.

Yes but it depends where people live and what circles they mix in. Both my brothers live in London so there are many non-White people near them which is why they've both had non-white partners. My DH is Indian but we met at university on a course which attracted a lot of Asian students.
If me and my brothers had only ever lived in small town that wasn't very diverse then it's much more likely that we'd have white partners.

Im Black, 1 of my Son-In-Laws is White. I have mixed race nieces & nephews via my brother. Nobody in my family is bothered about it, and that includes my parents at their advanced age.

None of the White in my family are British and tbh I'd have been dubious if they were. Having grown up with the blatant racism here which has moved on to sly, hypocritical racism "If we dont say the N word we're not racist/we'll deny your experiences of racist microaggressions to the enth", I dont want it in my family.

Strange to discuss this at work tho. I would never. Whats the purpose - judging people for their view? Just seems a tricky subject to tackle in the office lunch break

Not an issue in my family, which is already mixed. My in-laws are really quite racist under a polite surface, though- I can picture them being superficially welcoming, and then following up with a lifetime of comments and insinuations ranging from mildly cringeworthy to out-and-out offensive.

Agree.

I grew up in a diverse area in the suburbs. My DH and his siblings grew up in a small village and my DH says he only could remember two black children in his entire school career before he went to uni. However, they did a lot of trips growing up abroad. All of them went to uni in the nearest city 20 minutes away and afterwards DH and his brother both lived in different countries and I met him when we were both living in the States and his brother met his wife when they were living in Europe. When we met, he had British friends who had married outside of their race and culture, all having met living in a major city.

Not in my family. My mum was a trade unionist though and she'd probably disown me if I married a Tory.

My sisters and I have all married white Western men (we are Asian and grew up in the UK). I think my mum would have preferred us to marry within our race but none of us have ever dated a man from our race. It probably was most awkward for my older sister as she went through it first. My brother married someone who was in our race and I think my mum found it easier in some ways, there was no language barrier.

I think my mum wouldn't have been happy if we'd dated a black person though. It's never come up as an issue though.

I'm white, DH is Asian

My family didn't bat an eyelid, if they thought anything they didn't say it. Nonplussed.

His family on the other hand... led to several years of stress and upset and hiding and revelations given that he had dated a girl who wasn't Asian and didn't share the same religion. We're all good now but it really did take some time. He and his siblings were under a lot of pressure to date within their race.

One of my parents is very unapologetically racist and likes to frequently make that known, so I don’t know that I’d be able to introduce them. That said, I seldom visit my parents more that once a year anyway.

I suspect older relatives also wouldn’t be delighted and maybe prone to saying something ignorant, but would at least try to be welcoming.

Different races wouldn't be a problem at all but a different religion might cause issues.

I grew up under the apartheid regime, and when we came on holiday to the UK it was very strange for me to see mixed race couples. It was just something I had never seen before.

Thankfully times have changed and now I would not blink an eye now. Neither would my parents.

Although I do think that there is still some resistance to different cultures in marriage from the older generation. . As in white Christian wife has had to convert to her husband's Muslim religion etc.

My white friend, who married an Indian man was told to learn to cook quite quick, by his parents. It's a traditional thing in their family. His parents are older though so I doubt they will change their views. Anyway, they now think my friend can cook. She doesn't , her dh does 😃

As in white Christian wife has had to convert to her husband's Muslim religion etc. “had to” sounds unusual

Race no. Certain religions I would be hesitant about depending on how traditional they were.

🤣🤣

Honestly no idea. All I can tell you is that there are absolutely no racially mixed relationships in my family or background.

Wouldn’t have been a problem for me. When I was younger someone at my Mums work was talking about someone they knew going out with someone not white, can’t remember the ethnicity, and were a bit unpleasant which my Mum said something about. They asked her if she would honestly be ok with me going out with someone not white, and she said of course she would as long as they were decent, like she would hope anyone I went out with would be. I think the only thing would be that my parents would have worried about other people being a problem about it. I am 50 now so this was about 30 years ago.

My family are racist and made it very clear they disliked my husband and child. We don't have contact any more sadly as I don't want my son exposed to that negativity 😔

My God, that’s awful. I am so sorry. You are doing absolutely the right thing in protecting your child.

DH and I get a LOT of dodgy looks from people when we are out and about in his hometown which has a very large population of Asian people. Always from Asian people agog that he has dated a white girl.