Would it be awkward/problematic in your family to date outside your race?

[Saramax]

We were discussing interracial relationships at work the other day and I’m intrigued to see how people’s families would react to them dating person of a different ethnicity.

YABU - it would probably be awkward
YANBU - it would be completely normal

It wasn't even slightly an issue for my family, and I never thought it would be.

My parents are racist although pretend not to be in certain situations. It was most definitely an issue for them. I haven’t had contact with them for years as they’re awful people.

My sister is married to an Indian man and there was lots of ‘he's Indian BUT he’s actually very nice and good looking.’ 🙄

It would've been hugely problematic. I married outside my religion 30 odd years ago, and that was difficult enough to accept for both sides of the family.

Mind you, my delightful 'enlightened' MIL did say she'd have preferred a black Catholic to a white protestant (i.e. me)

If any of my DC choose to marry outside their race or religion it won't be an issue at all, either with me or the extended family.

I grew up in a town where racism was entrenched over 30 years ago. I think my parents would have struggled but ultimately accepted an interracial relationship. Same if I had been gay.

My own kids - wouldn't even think about it

Same here. I was trying to think how to put it, but you've said it pretty well.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid with my own children, one of whom is also gay.

Not all all. He's 32 already. Everyone adores him.

It just enriches the family.

Those who do are stuck living in the 1950's, sadly.

21st Century now. thank fuck

This is exactly what I would say too.

Me and my siblings are all with people of different races. Parents don't care 🤷‍♀️- my kids and nieces are beautiful :)

No one would care in my family- although I do recall some comments that a much older relative (since deceased) made about mixed race relationships.

I’m black and my family would probably find it weird if I was with a white person. I think it’s just two extremely different world tbh. Nothing to do with being racist but more to do with potentially being with someone who has no understanding of the struggles we go through in life.

No one would disown me or say ‘you need to leave this man immediately,’ it’d be more sly comments like, ‘are you sure you’ve thought about this properly’ etc. I wouldn’t date outside of my race for various reasons so my family being awkward/problematic wouldn’t be anything I’d ever have to go through

No, it’s not an issue in my family. Quite a few of us are mixed race or married to people of another religion.

My sister and BiL are very racist, so they'd hate it, but I don't see them (they're half the length of a very large continent away). Not that it would ever be a question, I've never dated and never will.

No, none of my family are racist.

Religion I think would be a different matter... they wouldn't be passive aggressive (or indeed aggressive) towards the person at all but rather a bit confused as we're all atheist/agnostic so me getting with a deeply religious person (including Christian) would probably be quite hard for them to understand.

None of my family would think it wrong. But it’s not that normal in that I can count on my fingers the partners anyone in my close family have had with someone who isn’t white.

My family doesn’t have a huge amount of experience with someone dating someone from another culture or with accepting conflicting world views. So it might still be awkward. But it would be awkward, not hostile.

Definitely not. My parents are in their mid 70's but wouldn't bat an eyelid at any race/religion/sexual orientation in the family. I realise how lucky I am to have been raised by them. My ex mil is the same. A fantastic woman.

FYI my family are white Irish. My youngest brother is married to a Filipino lady & they have 2 girls. We adore them all.

I was the ‘different one’…it was an adjustment for the family but they were extremely welcoming and kind.

Also while I am happy to do festivals, eg eat amazing food. I wouldn’t have converted for my husband or
family. I would say I fell in love with a person but I was naive to our differences because being seen as different had never happened to me before.

I am mixed race (white and East Asian) and my parents did/do a great job with embracing both cultures. Very sad that your family wouldn't. People don't have the same 'struggles through life' based on their skin colour or features. It also depends on your social class, upbringing, personal traumas etc. Also, people of different races can have similar interests and views and are therefore compatible, hence why there are lots of lovely interracial couples and families.

Think it's more about the culture/religion than race. My brother's first wife was West Indian and my nephew is mixed race. There were no issues on either side.

His second wife is from Pakistan and my brother is now a very strict Muslim. That has created a few issues in our family, particularly around shared food. My SIL is lovely but my parents feel uncomfortable with her subservience to them and that she won't eat (halal compliant) food they've prepared.

One of my Asian colleagues said his parents would have been horrified if he'd married a white woman. Whereas I'd have no issue with my kids marrying from any race if they shared the same values and outlook.

Normal.

No doubt my mum would make a bit of a fool of herself asking embarassing questions about that person’s background / hair / food etc but that’s what mums do.

She would struggle with family dating a Muslim though.

It would be fine on the face of it but my DPs would be too welcoming and then be so interested in my partner's heritage they would end up engaging in constant unknowing, well intentioned but grinding microaggressions like asking the person all about 'their culture' constantly and making inferences about how he would know all about life in Namibia despite being born and bred in York for example.

A different race wouldn't be any problem. A very different culture might lead to some awkward moments due to incorrect assumptions on both sides, but I don't think there's be any hostile intent.

No. My DH is British Indian and I'm white. No one's batted an eyelid on either side.

My bil married someone from a different race and culture, she tries her best but I don't think she enjoys spending time with the her white family sadly (ie either the in laws and us).
I think its partly SIL's temperament but also mils behaviour, lots of ingrained post-colonial attitudes.

There's lots of attitudes I just do not understand and she comes accross as proud and angry at how unfair the world is towards her race. I feel really bad for her, like we've failed.

Have done, several different 'races', nationalities and religious backgrounds. No overt weirdness from my family (quite a lot from the Hindu boyfriend's mother, though!)

The most racist member of my family was my dad, now deceased. Mum says racist-ish things without thinking but quite without malice. Among siblings, the only negatives come from a sister who seems to think everything I do is "just trying to be different" 💩

My Mum wouldn't care although might put her foot in her mouth and say something inappropriate, there would be no malicious intent

My Dad on the other hand would have a major issue with it as he is a racist arsehole. I had a good male friend who was Asian when I was a teenager and he was apoplectic at the thought he was my boyfriend (he wasn't)