Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Best friend sacks me from her wedding and ends friendship

210 replies

softgentle · 22/06/2023 21:05

So please give me your honest opinion.

I (f28) have been sacked from my best friends wedding and she ended our friendship. I was maid of honour and my bf (m31) were playing heavy parts in their wedding.

I have helped her plan this wedding from the minute she got engaged and she has confided in me several times about the state of their relationship and how she thinks that they aren't suited or have been having serious relationship issues. First it was a major disagreement in wanting children, then about money and then about family issues. She for example, wanted to use holiday to visit her family in the Czech Republic and he didn't want to 'waste' his holiday on seeing her family.

They got engaged last year and I have helped her plan 80% of her wedding, spending entire weekends doing wedding things with her. One of the key aspects I was in charge of was finding my own dress then she would pay me back.

Now us big busty girls with inherited maternal bottoms, know that it's difficult finding occasion dresses that fit correctly. By chance I found 2 dresses I liked on tinted for £10 each. I tried them on and the top fit perfectly and the bottom stuck to my bottom very tightly. So I proposed we pay for a skirt panel off one dress be attached to the other. She was on board. Recently we found a mouse in our bedroom and until we got the situation under control we gave her the 2 dresses I had brought.

I had reminded her several times that the weeks leading to her wedding I would be in the middle of my dissertation and it could potentially be a busy time for me; and I might not be as freely available I was during during her earlier engagement.

4 weeks later she rings me to tell me her mother says it will cost £200 to attach an additional skirt panel. Having been in this situation before I knew it wouldn't cost that much; more in the region of £20-£60 depending on the size and the material type etc. She decides I need a new dress so she orders 4 dresses that I know from looking at the pictures won't fit me correctly and will need adjustments (Skin tight and I'm a size 18 with size 36 FF chesticles). I explained the following week I am working overtime as well as having a deadline on the Friday and I will be more available the week after.

I get a text that the dresses have arrived few days later and I need to pick them up. I explained again that this week I am working 6 days finishing at 7.30pm and she is aware I do not drive. She lives 2 minutes in the car from our house but for me walking it would take around an hours round trip walking. And I reminded her several times on the phone this week I would be busy all week with university work and working. I could compromise and pick them up Saturday afternoon when I finished work at 4pm. She said this wasn't good enough and I needed to collect them earlier. At no point did she offer to drop them off herself; despite being unemployed and being able to drive.

I got another message telling me she didn't know why I couldn't collect them and that my uni work and mental health is no excuse as to why I can't do that. I had been feeling very overwhelmed and was diagnosed with PTSD around 8 months ago from a traumatic event. I had several panic attacks over the weekend prior and this message brought me to tears. My partner spoke to her on the phone and they agreed that she would find a seamstress and I would go with her on my day off if she found one.

We heard nothing for 3 hours following that until we got £30 sent to our bank account label 'softgentle's dresses' with a text from her fiancé. Telling us we are not people they want in their lives anymore or want to be associated with and they do not want us at their wedding.

They immediately blocked us on everything they have to contact us on and that was that. Was I unreasonable during any part of this altercation?

OP posts:
Applesinmyhouse · 23/06/2023 08:22

You sound really annoying.

Conkersinautumn · 23/06/2023 08:23

Two women have cut me off over wedding related drama. I haven't missed either of them fo r a second. Their under "stress" selves brings out their real authentic pain in the arse , terrible friend selves.

Malificent1 · 23/06/2023 08:26

Applesinmyhouse · 23/06/2023 08:22

You sound really annoying.

And you sound really unkind.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 23/06/2023 08:46

Who attaches extra panels to a skirt?

It's much mote trouble than it's worth, and it's impossible to match the material.

Forget the mouse and the 2min/1hour trip, this is the real mystery.

Appleblossompetal · 23/06/2023 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I thought chesticles was funny! She’s just making a joke.

GeriatricMumma · 23/06/2023 08:54

Createausername1970 · 22/06/2023 21:20

Maybe she is regretting telling you so much negative stuff in the past? If she cuts you off now, you can't accidentally say something she wouldn't want repeated.

This.

OngoingConfidence · 23/06/2023 09:00

I'm not sure why you didn't ask her to drop the dresses off or why she didn't offer to. Her reaction seems very extreme though

Swishytwip · 23/06/2023 09:13

Applesinmyhouse · 23/06/2023 08:22

You sound really annoying.

Out of 9 pages of responses, this may be the one that OP hyper fixates on. Women with PTSD are seven times more likely to commit suicide than other women. Why would you be so nasty?

CheeseBandit · 23/06/2023 09:30

My BIL says ‘2 minutes’ for everything, even things that will take obviously longer. It’s an expression.
OP doesn’t drive so what she means it’s a short journey. I don’t think she’s timed it. Sometimes when people don’t drive they think its all an easy/short drive. My friends house is about 4-5 minutes drive away, it probably would take me 30 to walk to it because of a motorway and paths.

jellyminelli · 23/06/2023 11:00

It all sounds very hard work. She's ordering you unflattering dresses, that's not something I'd do to a friend so I think you're better off out of it.

Need to know more about the mouse though 😬🤣

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread