Best friend sacks me from her wedding and ends friendship

[softgentle]

So please give me your honest opinion.

I (f28) have been sacked from my best friends wedding and she ended our friendship. I was maid of honour and my bf (m31) were playing heavy parts in their wedding.

I have helped her plan this wedding from the minute she got engaged and she has confided in me several times about the state of their relationship and how she thinks that they aren't suited or have been having serious relationship issues. First it was a major disagreement in wanting children, then about money and then about family issues. She for example, wanted to use holiday to visit her family in the Czech Republic and he didn't want to 'waste' his holiday on seeing her family.

They got engaged last year and I have helped her plan 80% of her wedding, spending entire weekends doing wedding things with her. One of the key aspects I was in charge of was finding my own dress then she would pay me back.

Now us big busty girls with inherited maternal bottoms, know that it's difficult finding occasion dresses that fit correctly. By chance I found 2 dresses I liked on tinted for £10 each. I tried them on and the top fit perfectly and the bottom stuck to my bottom very tightly. So I proposed we pay for a skirt panel off one dress be attached to the other. She was on board. Recently we found a mouse in our bedroom and until we got the situation under control we gave her the 2 dresses I had brought.

I had reminded her several times that the weeks leading to her wedding I would be in the middle of my dissertation and it could potentially be a busy time for me; and I might not be as freely available I was during during her earlier engagement.

4 weeks later she rings me to tell me her mother says it will cost £200 to attach an additional skirt panel. Having been in this situation before I knew it wouldn't cost that much; more in the region of £20-£60 depending on the size and the material type etc. She decides I need a new dress so she orders 4 dresses that I know from looking at the pictures won't fit me correctly and will need adjustments (Skin tight and I'm a size 18 with size 36 FF chesticles). I explained the following week I am working overtime as well as having a deadline on the Friday and I will be more available the week after.

I get a text that the dresses have arrived few days later and I need to pick them up. I explained again that this week I am working 6 days finishing at 7.30pm and she is aware I do not drive. She lives 2 minutes in the car from our house but for me walking it would take around an hours round trip walking. And I reminded her several times on the phone this week I would be busy all week with university work and working. I could compromise and pick them up Saturday afternoon when I finished work at 4pm. She said this wasn't good enough and I needed to collect them earlier. At no point did she offer to drop them off herself; despite being unemployed and being able to drive.

I got another message telling me she didn't know why I couldn't collect them and that my uni work and mental health is no excuse as to why I can't do that. I had been feeling very overwhelmed and was diagnosed with PTSD around 8 months ago from a traumatic event. I had several panic attacks over the weekend prior and this message brought me to tears. My partner spoke to her on the phone and they agreed that she would find a seamstress and I would go with her on my day off if she found one.

We heard nothing for 3 hours following that until we got £30 sent to our bank account label 'softgentle's dresses' with a text from her fiancé. Telling us we are not people they want in their lives anymore or want to be associated with and they do not want us at their wedding.

They immediately blocked us on everything they have to contact us on and that was that. Was I unreasonable during any part of this altercation?

Well, tbh, if I were you I would be doing the dance of joy OP. Your friend sounds awful and I wouldn't want to be her friend any more, let alone be involved in her wedding. You've had a lucky escape.

My money is on this. What a crap, entitled friend though.

You definitely didn't do anything unreasonable IMO, I could look past her being a bit stressy about getting the dress sorted but she still needs to understand other people have their own lives going on. Anyway, she didn't get just get stressy, she completely lost the plot and I think if she's capable of being this childish, myopic and spiteful then the best thing you can do is move on and not give it your emotional energy. At least you won't have to hear about her relationship woes and gripes anymore.

According to your map, it's 6 mins drive. She said 2 mins, door to door. I don't believe you can live 2 minutes from anywhere that you have to take an hours circuitous path to get to it. But i'm happy for you to find me a map and prove me wrong.

Probably not- but I presume she meant ‘very quick drive under 5 minutes’, not that she has timed the journey to the second.

Do you never say ‘I’ll be back in a minute’ when something actually takes 2 minutes? Or ‘the other day’ when really it was last week?

Op probably expected people to concentrate on the issue she asked about, not on the exact number of seconds that journey takes.

YANBU. Your friend sounds like an entitled arsehole. Thank the heavens you no longer have to be part of a sham wedding. You clearly have a lot going on, and your friend shows no compassion for you, makes bizarre choices which have a negative impact for you and demanding and bossy. It sounds like you’ve given her more time and energy on her wedding than most would ask of a MOH too. She is either having some sort of breakdown because she knows she is in a terrible relationship or she is just a monumental bellend and the wedding had brought out her worst side.

For what its worth..It is definitely possible to have the difference in driving time and walking. I live just off a 50mph dial carriageway, just checked Google maps and time to friends via this dual carriageway is 3 minutes by car but this is not a safe walking route because there is no safe path. So to walk we have to follow a much longer route through the village which, again confirmed with Google maps, takes 41minutes.

Anyway OP, try not to take it too much to heart. It sounds like she's definitely having a bridezilla moment and you sound like you'll be a big loss to her.

I enjoyed chesticles. Finding a lot of twats on MN today.
you’re better off without most of the posters on here and your ‘friend’.

@ConstableGoody I'm a literal sort of person! It's a curse. (To me and those around me.) 😄

Maternal bottoms, chesticles, a rogue mouse and a bend in the time/space continuum where 2 min walk equals one hours walk.

What was the AIBU again?

Telling us we are not people they want in their lives anymore

To which the only reply is 'At last, something we can agree on, Ciao'

2 min drive, sorry!

I would suggest if she has told you things that are not well in her relationship, yet still is getting married, then its possible she has told her future DH things about your friendship too, and the dress saga is just the tip of the iceberg so he is fully supportive of her cutting ties with you.

Not much you can do I'm afraid unless she owes you more money. If that is the case, then I would approach her Mum or sister if there is one, tell them you have been blocked so have no way to get in contact, but you would like the balance of your money pronto.

Chesticles is one of my favourite words. Just for that, I'm with you OP 💪🏽

Their pearls must be well and truly clutched to death. Some people on here must be so dull and boring to live with!

Bridezilla. You’re better off without her in your life.

Ah, fair enough 😁

I’ve just given this far too much thought, and there are 2 villages near me which are geographically very close to each other- either side of a gully that the motorway runs through… now I reckon if you lived on one side of one village and wanted to get to the nearest side of the other village you could possibly do it in 2 minutes in the car BUT if you were walking it would take a very long time because the bridge connecting the villages doesn’t allow foot traffic so you would have to walk a long way to get around the motorway.

Round trip so there (chat on the doorstep most likely) and walk back

Chesticles! What an excellent word! I shall immediately stop calling them tittifers and use this wonderful word henceforth.

OP YANBU as the (too few) sensible posters on this thread have said. You’re better out of this drama and this friendship. Good luck with your dissertation and for your MH issues.

Op i don't think YABU at all. Your degree and work has to come first.

I think I would let the dust settle and speak with her directly have coffee face to face once the pressure is of you both.

I am loving chesticles. I will be using this in future along with with my usual boobage.

Get a new friend.

Maybe you could shoot a rope across and zipline? 😄

I think my brains had too much thought and I've become silly. 🤤 Hehe.

I suspect the bloke has put the friend up to this. Go round and see her!

Fuck her, She sounds like an entitled spoiled Princess who thinks the world and In particularly your Uni work and Mental Health have to stop or rather be disregarded for her.
id say you’re well rid to be perfectly honest

Gosh you are heartless in the extreme

My mum used to call them chesticales back in the 70s.
And she was obviously a close friend it will be very upsetting and hard to lose her friendship. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.