To be fed up with ultra casual work wear

[Ceci03]

So I work in an office quite large about 30 people if everyone is in. Mostly there are fewer though. Hybrid working so only in 2-3 days. But I'm fed up with the ultra casual clothes they all wear. On my team there's a woman about 30 who wears skinny jeans and a jumper every day. Another wears leggings and a jumper every day. I like these women no worries but I have bought some nice clothes a few dresses and blazers but when I get up in the morning I feel like I will stick out too much if I wear them and end up
Wearing my old black trousers and some old top so I get in. It's my problem more than theirs. I want to look nice but chicken out. It seems to be a thing to wear the least flattering comfy clothes. Typing this am realizing I need to just wear what I want. But I want to fit in too !! Wish people would make a bit more of an effort. None of them wear make up or anything like that lol. Which is ok but makes me feel like a weirdo for putting on my mascara and lipstick lol. I guess IABU

Just wear what you want, it sounds as though they are, so in actual fact you will fit in that way.

YABU as you should do what you want. Perhaps they go through the same thought process every morning and then they put their leggings on.

YANBU as I don’t think leggings are suitable for work. I don’t care about make-up or skinnies or jumpers but leggings are just too casual.

@Ceci03

I think a lot of people now are a lot more casual clothing wise.

I work for myself but I'm client facing.

The years of being uncomfortable in tailored clothing have long gone especially in this heat we e had.

Whether you think what people wear is unflattering is your issue nobody else's.

If you want to dress smarter then be confident and go for it.

If it makes you feel good why not

You wear what you want, they wear what they want.

What they're wearing doesn't affect you. You sound awful. Let people be comfortable.

You've answered your own dilemma

I know I need to wear what I want but I feel like a muppet if I'm "dressed up" . I'm not really or wouldn't be only compared to them. Yeh the woman who wears the same leggings every day since I started the job in Jan. She's very slim and has a big thigh gap tho (trying not to be jealous lol) so they don't look terrible on her except they are leggings

The OP doesn’t sound awful at all. Stop exaggerating. Workplaces should have dress codes/expectations.

Why?

Expectations, yes - of high quality work.
If the job isn’t customer facing, what people wear is irrelevant. If it is, then degree of smartness depends on what the contact is and who with.

What they wear is affecting me though that's the problem ! Maybe I should be asking for advice on being more confident. I feel like I stuck out like a sore thumb if I make any kind of effort with my appearance! We can be customer facing some days but mostly not.

It's not more your problem than theirs, it's completely your problem. They're wearing what they want and you should too. Chuck a dress on one day, or a blazer the next. Maybe you'll feel a bit extra to start but that feeling doesn't last long. I migrated from boring jeans and tops for work over a decade ago when I realised all my nice dresses were just sitting in my wardrobe Monday to Friday and they and I deserved better than that. My industry dresses very casually, so I'm probably about dressier than some people, but so what! Besides, do you remember what anyone you work with was wearing on Monday? I doubt so because ultimately we all pay a lot less attention to each others clothes than we think.

They are wearing what they want. You do the same. Don't blame them for your lack of confidence.

What sector do you work in? Leggings and a jumper is too casual for anyplace I've ever worked.

But I think you going a bit far in commenting about women not wearing make up to work - it's really not needed to be professional.

I tend to agree with you, everyone looks like a slob including me. I miss dressing up

This is very much a you problem. Just as they’re wearing what they want to work, so can you.

Also, why is them not wearing make up impacting you in any way. Women wear a huge range of make up - you’ll get women who wear none and women who wear heavy make up. It’s that person’s choice and really doesn’t impact anyone else.

I'm with you, OP. I've actually just bought a bunch of new work clothes and I feel really good when I wear them - even if I'm surrounded by people who look like they just got out of bed are more casual than I'd be comfortable in.

I work in retail, customer facing, and we can wear leggings, but they have to be black, in good repair, and nothing see through.
As long as you wear black on black, with no logos , you are good to go.

I wore jeans and jumpers all through my working life except for a few years in a uniform (which was … a jumper and trousers). State and Federal public service, some of it customer facing. This is going back to the 1980s and I doubt Australian offices were wildly casual compared with British ones even then.

None of them wear make up

Oh, how I wish this wasn’t unusual.

You wish people would make more of an effort, so that you can
and you’re annoyed at them for not being more considerate of you and making an effort
but also you’re chickening out and not making an effort yourself
I think you know yabu.

can you try wear something a little more dressy, like just some dressier shoes at first, and build up to a full dressy outfit, if that’s what you want to wear.

*Wearing my old black trousers and some old top …… It seems to be a thing to wear the least flattering comfy clothes”

That’s a false dichotomy. Old doesn’t have to be unflattering. Comfy doesn’t have to be unflattering.

I would have a lot more sympathy for your dilemma if you had not mentioned the lack of makeup. no one needs makeup at work.

On the rare occasions I go to the office, I almost always wear a dress even though most of my female colleagues choose pants and a top. It never occurred to me to worry about it . I choose dresses not because I think they look smarter, but because I find they fit my shape better and I can find a dress that looks professional and yet is comfortable much more easily than I can with the clothing that is more ubiquitous.

Surely you can find a middle ground between some old top and lipstick and blazers.

You know very well this is your issue not theirs, and makeup is choice you want to wear it fine. It is not their problem