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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with ultra casual work wear

246 replies

Ceci03 · 22/06/2023 00:35

So I work in an office quite large about 30 people if everyone is in. Mostly there are fewer though. Hybrid working so only in 2-3 days. But I'm fed up with the ultra casual clothes they all wear. On my team there's a woman about 30 who wears skinny jeans and a jumper every day. Another wears leggings and a jumper every day. I like these women no worries but I have bought some nice clothes a few dresses and blazers but when I get up in the morning I feel like I will stick out too much if I wear them and end up
Wearing my old black trousers and some old top so I get in. It's my problem more than theirs. I want to look nice but chicken out. It seems to be a thing to wear the least flattering comfy clothes. Typing this am realizing I need to just wear what I want. But I want to fit in too !! Wish people would make a bit more of an effort. None of them wear make up or anything like that lol. Which is ok but makes me feel like a weirdo for putting on my mascara and lipstick lol. I guess IABU

OP posts:
ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 22/06/2023 19:17

supersonicginandtonic · 22/06/2023 17:32

I wear leggings and long tops to the office as do many of my colleagues, you wouldn't like our office OP

I think that leggings with a long top is completely different to leggings with a short, or even cropped top . I often wear leggings with a long shirt or tunic and have done for years - I have never once considered this inappropriate - I was picturing from the OP that her colleague was very young and in a much shorter top.

MMMarmite · 22/06/2023 19:22

Some days I dress up nice for work, other days I look like a slob. Wear what you like and let others do the same.

Rewis · 22/06/2023 19:33

I wouldn't buy a kitchen, a car or a house from anyone dressed like they're watching telly on a Saturday night.

I'd trust a car salesman more who was wearing nice jumper/cardigan and a pair of well fitted jeans than someone in a suit. Sure, oversized hoodie and worn out sweatpants are not appropriate. But nice clean clothing that are more causal than a suit. Totally fine

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 22/06/2023 19:48

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 22/06/2023 13:34

Dress for the job you aspire to.

I'm aspiring to retire 🤣

LlynTegid · 22/06/2023 19:51

I do everything possible when abroad to avoid being identified as from these shores. One of the reasons is how scruffy, unkempt and unstylish so many people are, lacking any pride in their appearance. Leggings or jogging bottoms are just awful in my view and I'd like to see them all on a bonfire.

However unlike the OP I am happy to have some pride in appearance even if others don't.

pointythings · 22/06/2023 19:52

Dress for the job you aspire to.

That is a useless adage, since more and more workplaces are getting more and more casual.

JazbayGrapes · 22/06/2023 20:11

However unlike the OP I am happy to have some pride in appearance even if others don't.

I have a lot of pride in my leggings.

Housekeeperbatcocoa · 22/06/2023 20:12

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 22/06/2023 08:48

And the OP's workplace dress code is clearly "wear what you want".

She could try being less judgemental and getting on with her job. And perhaps stop looking at the "gap between the thighs" of the leggings. Or, pubes as most people would call it. Which frankly is a bit off.

Show quote history

WFT... Thigh gap had nothing to do with pubes.

WunWun · 22/06/2023 20:17

🤣 I missed that.

A thigh gap is when your thighs don't touch AT ALL when you're standing straight with your feet touching. Nothing to do with your pubic area!

LakieLady · 22/06/2023 20:20

Ceci03 · 22/06/2023 00:44

I know I need to wear what I want but I feel like a muppet if I'm "dressed up" . I'm not really or wouldn't be only compared to them. Yeh the woman who wears the same leggings every day since I started the job in Jan. She's very slim and has a big thigh gap tho (trying not to be jealous lol) so they don't look terrible on her except they are leggings Grin

Maybe you should get a job where the dress code is more formal, like a merchant bank or something.

LuckyCats · 22/06/2023 20:42

I used to work somewhere that had a uniform, company top half which was pretty casual, some of the long sleeved tops looked like pjs , and bottom half was supposed to be black trousers, jeans or shorts/skirt no higher than just above knee.
I thought that was fair enough, easy to buy and wear and nice for people to look at while eating overpriced inauthentic food.
I did think lowering dress standards to allow jogging bottoms, leggings, much shorter skirts and gym shorts did seem to lower the standard of work and expectations, just an observation I had after many years of working there, I always wore skirts dresses or trousers.
I work somewhere else now where everyone just wears their own clothes.
Some are always the smarter end, shirts, nice dresses, some of us mix it up more, this week I went in looking like a punk one day in tartan trousers and a band T-shirt, I’ve had compliments on two days for lovely dresses I was wearing.
Friday and Saturday we all tend to dress down more but I really doubt most of them even notice much of the time.
Wear what you want op, most people really do not care, you might even start a trend.

tintable · 22/06/2023 21:49

Wear what you like. You can never be overdressed or overeducated!

ememem84 · 23/06/2023 08:23

ASGIRC · 22/06/2023 17:27

My current workplace at one point had banned shorts and flipflops, because people would literally be wearing their beach attire to work (and either going after work, or they were coming to work from the beach).

These days shorts and flipflops are allowed, just not swimming shorts.

This was because the rule only applied to the men... Women could wear short and flip flops. So they were called on the double standard and relaxed the rule to mean appropriate shorts and "smart" flipflops.

Apart from the "office" people at my workplace (its a media company), who wear smart casual, everyone else wears casual

Show quote history

I checked our dress code yesterday.

no shorts. No flip flops. Nothing more suited to a night out than work. no beach wear.

today however I’m wearing these https://www.riverisland.com/p/brown-leopard-print-tie-culottes-752481

i have one colleague who will no doubt ask me why I’m wearing my pjs.

Brown leopard print tie culottes | River Island

Shop our new Brown leopard print tie culottes at River Island today. Order now for Free Click & Collect and Delivery (Ts&Cs apply).

https://www.riverisland.com/p/brown-leopard-print-tie-culottes-752481

ememem84 · 23/06/2023 08:24

Dhs work has a “dress for your day” policy.

today he’s nicking off early to go paddle boarding as the tide is good for it. So he’s in a T-shirt and boardies. Which I don’t think is appropriate for work

pointythings · 23/06/2023 08:27

tintable · 22/06/2023 21:49

Wear what you like. You can never be overdressed or overeducated!

Well, that's not strictly true. Rocking up in the office in a full length ball gown or full white tie might raise some eyebrows. That said, if that's your vibe, go for it!

supersonicginandtonic · 23/06/2023 08:35

I think people work better if they're comfortable. We can wear almost anything as long as it's not revealing ir offensive

Shinyandnew1 · 23/06/2023 08:48

ASGIRC · 22/06/2023 17:27

My current workplace at one point had banned shorts and flipflops, because people would literally be wearing their beach attire to work (and either going after work, or they were coming to work from the beach).

These days shorts and flipflops are allowed, just not swimming shorts.

This was because the rule only applied to the men... Women could wear short and flip flops. So they were called on the double standard and relaxed the rule to mean appropriate shorts and "smart" flipflops.

Apart from the "office" people at my workplace (its a media company), who wear smart casual, everyone else wears casual

Show quote history

How was it worded in the dress code that only men couldn’t wear shorts/flip flops?!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 23/06/2023 10:18

Dress for the job you aspire to.

You can always spot the people who are following this advice a mile off. (The best part is, they genuinely think they’re making a subtle statement 😆)

The men doing it in my first casual dress job had a kind of uniform: beige or navy chinos, button down shirt (usually in pale blue or pink) and brown brogues, with a coloured V-neck thrown in for winter. They were, without exception, utter wankers.

In my current job, it’s the women who do it. Printed long or 3/4 sleeve dresses and ballet pumps.

Lacucuracha · 23/06/2023 10:21

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 23/06/2023 10:18

Dress for the job you aspire to.

You can always spot the people who are following this advice a mile off. (The best part is, they genuinely think they’re making a subtle statement 😆)

The men doing it in my first casual dress job had a kind of uniform: beige or navy chinos, button down shirt (usually in pale blue or pink) and brown brogues, with a coloured V-neck thrown in for winter. They were, without exception, utter wankers.

In my current job, it’s the women who do it. Printed long or 3/4 sleeve dresses and ballet pumps.

Are printed long sleeve dresses your idea of power dressing?

Sounds like a comfortable way to dress to
me, as you do t need a cardigan if the AC is too high.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 23/06/2023 10:25

I don’t think I used the phrase “power dressing”, did I? Has anyone since 1994?

Chinos and a button down shirt isn’t “power dressing” either. It’s just clearly meant to distinguish them from the jeans and T-shirts worn by everyone else.

alloutofluck · 23/06/2023 10:26

Wear what you want. Stop judging others wearing what they want.

Lacucuracha · 23/06/2023 10:28

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 23/06/2023 10:25

I don’t think I used the phrase “power dressing”, did I? Has anyone since 1994?

Chinos and a button down shirt isn’t “power dressing” either. It’s just clearly meant to distinguish them from the jeans and T-shirts worn by everyone else.

Power dressing is just shorthand for what you’re saying, that they’re aspiring to another job.

I really don’t think a long sleeved dress and ballet pumps stand out from t-shirt and jeans.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 23/06/2023 10:33

I really don’t think a long sleeved dress and ballet pumps stand out from t-shirt and jeans.

Well, I’m sure neither of us feel a desperate need for consensus on the issue. It’s just a bit ridiculous of you to suggest that I’m implying this is “power dressing”.

CoconutDrunk · 23/06/2023 10:34

YABVU

to be honest it sounds like you are taking your own insecurities and blaming your colleagues who are just going about their lives

snoopybus · 23/06/2023 10:43

Smallyellowbird · 22/06/2023 01:26

What sector do you work in? Leggings and a jumper is too casual for anyplace I've ever worked.

But I think you going a bit far in commenting about women not wearing make up to work - it's really not needed to be professional.

I used to wear jumpers and leggings daily when I worked in a office pre covid.

If I wasn't expecting any external meetings when it wasn't an issue at all. I was comfy and not tugging at an uncomfortable blazer or skirt all day.