Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with ultra casual work wear

246 replies

Ceci03 · 22/06/2023 00:35

So I work in an office quite large about 30 people if everyone is in. Mostly there are fewer though. Hybrid working so only in 2-3 days. But I'm fed up with the ultra casual clothes they all wear. On my team there's a woman about 30 who wears skinny jeans and a jumper every day. Another wears leggings and a jumper every day. I like these women no worries but I have bought some nice clothes a few dresses and blazers but when I get up in the morning I feel like I will stick out too much if I wear them and end up
Wearing my old black trousers and some old top so I get in. It's my problem more than theirs. I want to look nice but chicken out. It seems to be a thing to wear the least flattering comfy clothes. Typing this am realizing I need to just wear what I want. But I want to fit in too !! Wish people would make a bit more of an effort. None of them wear make up or anything like that lol. Which is ok but makes me feel like a weirdo for putting on my mascara and lipstick lol. I guess IABU

OP posts:
TaraRhu · 23/06/2023 10:47

Personally I'm glad to see the end of 'work wear'. Takes up too much space and money.

ManateeFair · 23/06/2023 10:53

YABU to blame your fear of looking different on other people. It's not their fault you're scared to wear what you like. It's your own mindset that's the problem, not what other people are wearing. That is literally the only thing that's stopping you from going to work in a dress.

PriOn1 · 23/06/2023 10:55

I’m on the side of casual dressing, but I often admire those who take more time and dress smartly, so if you’re worrying they might judge you negatively, it may not be the case at all. I used to have some clothes a Pakistani friend had made for me and I wore them to work occasionally when it was hot. No idea if others judged me and I don’t really care if they did. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and forget what everyone else is wearing.

bunnybunnybunnybunny · 23/06/2023 11:32

Quite a few places I have worked in have been super casual. However, I like getting dressed for work and have never let what others wear influence my choice to do so. The only concession I make to super casual is on Fridays when I do dress more casually, but even then, it's rarely as casually as anyone else.

Have always looked better in smarter, more structured clothes. Even outside work, am not super casual either - I like clothes and love getting dressed (up). If anything, the pandemic taught me life is too short to save clothes for best. Wear them, so I do.

ContinuousProcrastination · 23/06/2023 11:39

I'm sorry but im not going to start wearing heels and make up and fussy impractical clothing because you want to make work about appearance. I'm there to work, I'll wear comfortable, tidy practical clothing and footwear. I won't wear makeup unless I feel like it because a) I'm not there to look pretty and b) I'm confident enough to like my own appearance without it, and that's a good thing.

ManateeFair · 23/06/2023 11:42

Workplaces should have dress codes (I) relevant to the work environment, for several reasons (II) because it avoids the confusion that the OP is referring to and (III) as it inspires confidence among the consumer/client/service user.

There is no 'confusion' though. The dress code at the OP's office is very clear: people can wear whatever they want, including the OP. Clearly, the OP's employer feels that a wear-what-you-like policy is appropriate for their particular office environment. And not all workplaces have 'consumers/clients/service users' who actually see the employees.

A lot of the people saying 'offices should have dress codes' really mean that they think offices have dress codes that they, personally, deem correct (eg people confidently saying 'leggings aren't appropriate for work' when leggings are in fact appropriate for work in any situation where the employer is OK with it).

Yesterday in my office my boss (male, 50s) was wearing jeans, a plain t-shirt and Doc Martens, I (female, 40s) was wearing a loose fitting jumpsuit and trainers, one of the press officers (male, 20s) was wearing trousers and a formal shirt, the other(male, 50s) was wearing chinos and a casual short sleeve shirt, one of the analysts (female, 30s) was wearing jeans, walking boots and a vest top, and the project managers (one male, one female, both 20s) were wearing oversized jeans, a baggy designer t-shirt a gold chain and insanely expensive limited edition trainers, and a floral midi with a blazer and chunky flats respectively. Another colleague (female, 30s) came in after lunch from an external meeting and she was wearing a shift dress and heels. Our CEO (male, 50s) came in wearing a suit but immediately discarded his jacket and tie, unbuttoned the first three buttons of his shirt and rolled his sleeves up. His PA (female, 40s) was in a black maxi skirt, a black vest top with a black chiffony tunic thing layered over and black boots because she's a goth. Nobody was confused. Nobody cared. Everyone did their job.

ContinuousProcrastination · 23/06/2023 11:48

There are loads of offices where you are never anywhere near clients, customers etc, and no one gives a fig what anyone wears.

StormShadow · 23/06/2023 12:00

A lot of the people saying 'offices should have dress codes' really mean that they think offices have dress codes that they, personally, deem correct (eg people confidently saying 'leggings aren't appropriate for work' when leggings are in fact appropriate for work in any situation where the employer is OK with it).

Yep! They're doing no more than universalising their personal taste.

WunWun · 23/06/2023 12:36

If everyone had always dressed down for work, no one would know the difference and there wouldn't be any of this "inspiring confidence" nonsense.

IncomingTraffic · 23/06/2023 13:24

WunWun · 22/06/2023 20:17

🤣 I missed that.

A thigh gap is when your thighs don't touch AT ALL when you're standing straight with your feet touching. Nothing to do with your pubic area!

It is an effect of the width of someone’s pelvis though.

WunWun · 23/06/2023 14:47

IncomingTraffic · 23/06/2023 13:24

It is an effect of the width of someone’s pelvis though.

No it isn't, and you wouldn't need to look at their pelvis to see it either so I'm not sure what your point is.

IncomingTraffic · 23/06/2023 18:01

WunWun · 23/06/2023 14:47

No it isn't, and you wouldn't need to look at their pelvis to see it either so I'm not sure what your point is.

It is. And that’s why some very thin women never have a ‘thigh gap’. And why it’s so weird and inappropriate for anyone to be commenting on their colleagues’ thigh gaps.

https://www.livestrong.com/article/1012082-filling-thigh-gaps/

Filling in the Facts About Thigh Gaps | Livestrong.com

The trend of having a thigh gap encourages eating disorders, so this article gets the facts straight and sees through the fad.

https://www.livestrong.com/article/1012082-filling-thigh-gaps/

IncomingTraffic · 23/06/2023 18:02

Or do you think commenting on colleagues’ pelvic anatomy is fine?

WunWun · 23/06/2023 18:44

Personally I couldn't care less about what anyone says about anyone's pelvis. Which body parts do you think are fair game out of interest? Am I alright to glance and someone's finger?

WunWun · 23/06/2023 18:51

Whatever the cause of thigh gap, you still see in in the thighs rather than the pelvis.

Pearl clutching at the mere thought of someone looking at someone else's fucking pelvis is about ridiculous as Mumsnet gets.

IncomingTraffic · 23/06/2023 19:00

But you can only notice a thigh gap is you look at the place where the thighs meet the pelvis. That’s where the ‘gap’ is or is not.

Commenting on a thigh gap is not like noticing someone’s fingers.

DerekFaker · 23/06/2023 19:18

FluffyFlannery · 22/06/2023 18:30

And you sound a slob.

And you sound like a bit of a knob.

WunWun · 23/06/2023 20:23

IncomingTraffic · 23/06/2023 19:00

But you can only notice a thigh gap is you look at the place where the thighs meet the pelvis. That’s where the ‘gap’ is or is not.

Commenting on a thigh gap is not like noticing someone’s fingers.

It's all the way to their knees! And really, if you can't see it at their knees it isn't a thigh gap. There is nothing sexual about knees is there? Are we allowed to comment on knees? What's the difference between looking at someone's knees and their pelvis?

Noticing any part of someone's body is just that. There's nothing different about it. It would be inappropriate for the OP to comment to colleagues about another's body, but there is nothing to suggest she has.

celticprincess · 23/06/2023 21:44

I work in an environment with mix uniform and not. Those that wear optional uniform (one specific job) are given a polo shirt by the company and can wear whatever bottoms they like. Most wear leggings but about 10 years ago when I started most wore jeans. I guess leggings are more comfy. But the uniform is actually optional. The job requires you to be able to easily move about. Nothing low cut on the top. Many will wear their own tops with their leggings. I’ve never been a fan of leggings worn as pants. I can wear what those staff wear if I want but have never been given a polo shirt - I could probably ask for one. I tend to wear a dress with leggings (as if they were tights as I hate tights). I have to be able to bend over a lot, kneel down and love about easily. Trainers/sketcher shoes/DM’s are my go to footwear. Other people in my role still mostly wear more casual clothes than I do but I prefer my jeans and t shirts for home. I wear minimum make up - literally foundation to even my skin tone and not look half dead. But there are others with full face, eye lashes, etc.

The main thing is no one seems to care what anyone else wears. I went in once on my day off in my jeans and got loads of compliments about my t shirts as people had only ever seen me in my dresses. We all just wear what we are comfortable in.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 25/06/2023 09:39

Just wear what you want! How does other peoples choice of clothing affect you?

I love my leggings and jumpers, I don't own a blazer as it's not my cup of tea, I'll only wear stretchy dresses in the summer when I feel like it, I don't wear makeup because it irritates my face.

I have ADHD and sensory issues, I go through 'phases' of what clothes I wear but they've all got one thing in common, everything except cardigans, have to be some sort of soft, stretchy material, any buttons, zips, non-stretchy fabric is a no-go

I'd be very upset to learn a colleague was 'fed up' with how I dress. I already count down the hours I can get home, get my bra off and put my stretchy soft PJs back on, I don't need the extra stress of pulling at clothing that's uncomfortable, I'm already stressed enough trying to function in society as it is!

Hmcs · 26/06/2023 09:31

wear whatever you feel comfortable in
But if you are that worried just try to make what you have more casual
wear the blazers with jeans
the dresses with trainers, jumpers over them in winter
loose shirts over them or tied up

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread