To be fed up with ultra casual work wear

[Ceci03]

So I work in an office quite large about 30 people if everyone is in. Mostly there are fewer though. Hybrid working so only in 2-3 days. But I'm fed up with the ultra casual clothes they all wear. On my team there's a woman about 30 who wears skinny jeans and a jumper every day. Another wears leggings and a jumper every day. I like these women no worries but I have bought some nice clothes a few dresses and blazers but when I get up in the morning I feel like I will stick out too much if I wear them and end up
Wearing my old black trousers and some old top so I get in. It's my problem more than theirs. I want to look nice but chicken out. It seems to be a thing to wear the least flattering comfy clothes. Typing this am realizing I need to just wear what I want. But I want to fit in too !! Wish people would make a bit more of an effort. None of them wear make up or anything like that lol. Which is ok but makes me feel like a weirdo for putting on my mascara and lipstick lol. I guess IABU

For someone like me, who most makeup itches like fuck if worn for too long, and because of that I don't own a lot nor am I very good at applying it, and with size 9 feet and am a bit of a tomboy that hate the idea of heels the fact work clothes are now casual, where jeans and converse are OK, makes a massive difference to my comfort at work. For years people like me were made to feel uncomfortable on the pretence of 'looking smart' when in reality it made fuck all difference to my ability to use a computer if I wore trainers, or if anythign made me better because I wasn't trying to constantly get comfy in a non stretch badly fitting blouse. Each to their own, wear what you want and stop judging each other! I'm so glad i'm in a job where it's cargo shorts and polo shirts now and its a massive factor for me.

By the end of your OP you had identified the issue. It is your problem. You need to be more confident about what you want to wear. If there is a dress code, and its adhered to, then what anyone else chooses to wear for their own comfort is not relevant.

Wear a nice dress if you want to. Whack your lippy on. No-one will care. You will feel better in yourself. But you have to instigate your own change. Do it slowly if that's easier. Stick with the old black trousers, but get a nice top to match.

I haven't worn makeup to the office ever and that isn't about to change - but I'm not judging anyone who does!

Exactly. If it’s really supposed to be a “great leveller”, why isn’t the typical school uniform a plain white T-shirt and blue jeans? Stuff you can get from Primark or George for under a tenner?

I think people are being unnecessarily harsh here.
It is clear from your posts that you know deep down the issue is yours. You lack the confidence to just dress how you want and think feck what anyone else thinks. You naturally wish others behaved like that so it would be easier for you. You aren't actually trying to change them.

On MN lots like to pretend they would never judge or notice others and I dont think that rings true in real life. I think people do notice and may even comment. That doesn't mean they are judging though.

You might fear they are thinking where does she think she is going done up like a may bush?
And some might be but others are likely thinking God she always looks great and so stylish, i wish i could pull that off/ i really should make more of an effort. (Thats prob what Id think)

I think you should wear what you want but do it with confidence! If you are nervous at first, maybe wear flat shoes/trainers with your dresses or blazers to start with. they can really make an outfit less dressy.

I have no problem with casual clothes in work place if they are clean and fit well. I probably fall mostly into this category. But there is also nothing wrong with wanting to be a bit dressier and liking smarter clothes. A well fitting blazer doesn't have to be uncomfortable so ignore all the id rather be comfortable chat.

Go for it! Strut your stuff with confidence. You never know who is secretly admiring rather than judging

Set an example and wear workwear....see who follows the lead?

Are you so afraid to wear it because the job isn't upmarket enough?

What is your company? A top law firm, I’d get it, a small local office where we all do admin - meh, nobody wears blazers. We’d be well overdressed.

The OP didn't mention blazers so not sure why people keep saying it. Smart casual is not jeans and tee shirt or beach dress in an office where we meet clients and do work for them and get paid for it! It doesn't look professional when Beach Dress woman BENDS OVER AND YOU SEE HER ARSE. So no, I'm with the OP

I work in tech, have done for 30 years. I don't need to go to the office much but when I do, no-one gets hung up about what anyone else is wearing because we are interested in getting the job done.

When I joined a previous employer, a US tech firm in 1998, the founder and CEO wore jeans and T shirt to the office the whole time, that was great and we all did the same.

Dress codes are a load of old fashioned toss.

She did mention blazers. What she didn't say is anything about any co-workers showing their arses.

Read the OP again...

But that's not OP. And the poster who described that also described wer-lettuvmce bosses who won't/can't address it

So true! When I wear jumpers (every cool or cold day of the year) it means I’ve made a bloody big effort, because I knitted all of them!

The op wants people to change for them not the other way around, the idea can be dressed up how you want it to be the issue is still with the op not the colleagues

What the OP definitely didn’t mention was “smart casual”. Her office is clearly just plain casual.

What’s the point of having a dress code to sit in an office with colleagues? As long as the clothes are clean.

I wear dresses pretty much every day weather it's summer or winter it suits my style and he's actually the easiest way to dress as you don't have to think about coordinating anything. Sometimes I think I stick out but the amount of people that have said to me I always look so put together dress well when the reality is I just throw on a dress every day with little thought. Where what you want .

Oh god apologies for spelling and grammar I was voice typing

YABU to expect women to wear make up. Loads of us have ditched it now. Try it, it’s very liberating.

Does anyone 'need' it?

The way you talk about women not wearing sufficient make up and having thigh gaps is really creepy. Maybe work on that first.

I don't wear make up , but I'm out 14 hours a day so prefer the extra time in bed.
Wearing leggings doesn't affect someone's ability to do their job.

Dress for the job you aspire to.

What if you don’t aspire to some other job, or you’re content where you are?

You mention that the lack of makeup usage is bothering you. Are you bothered by having to see the naked faces of both men and women or just the women?

I dont think you should hold anyone else, or their clothing, responsible for your discomfort.