To be fed up with ultra casual work wear

[Ceci03]

So I work in an office quite large about 30 people if everyone is in. Mostly there are fewer though. Hybrid working so only in 2-3 days. But I'm fed up with the ultra casual clothes they all wear. On my team there's a woman about 30 who wears skinny jeans and a jumper every day. Another wears leggings and a jumper every day. I like these women no worries but I have bought some nice clothes a few dresses and blazers but when I get up in the morning I feel like I will stick out too much if I wear them and end up
Wearing my old black trousers and some old top so I get in. It's my problem more than theirs. I want to look nice but chicken out. It seems to be a thing to wear the least flattering comfy clothes. Typing this am realizing I need to just wear what I want. But I want to fit in too !! Wish people would make a bit more of an effort. None of them wear make up or anything like that lol. Which is ok but makes me feel like a weirdo for putting on my mascara and lipstick lol. I guess IABU

I always wore nice outfits to work. Had a great dress collection, lovely shoes. Always bought good stuff, too. The other women I worked with wore black polyester trousers & a top / jumper. Even a shumper, God forbid… Didn’t stop me!

Can’t imagine what it’s like nowadays. I will say there was plenty of misogyny in the office back in my day. And I would get unwanted attention from male bosses. Women choosing not to wear make-up / short skirts / frocks is fine with me.

I think you should call a meeting, or send a group email requesting that everyone dress more smartly from now on so that you can feel better about your own outfits.

No?

Then I guess you know YABU.

Why does not wearing makeup matter?

Wear what you want - I do. I am always the most 'overdressed' person in the office, and often the only woman wearing makeup with her hair styled. I'm completely fine with it, and have no issues with what my coworkers wear or don't wear. It has no effect at all on me.

When I work from home is a totally different matter. I look like a fright, so usually leave the camera off. 😂

Can you work out a middle ground you’re comfortable with? I work in social care and the office is definitely more casual since the pandemic. We have younger members of staff - detached or outreach youth workers mainly - who wear really casual leggings/t shirts. That’s far too casual for me! I tend to go with jeans and dress them up a bit with trainers - Vejas/new balance/gazelles - and oversized blazers. I also like tube dresses with blazers. Wear what you’re comfortable in and it will suit you.

Just bloody wear what makes you happy. I see a woman near me who’s in her late 60s, and wears a fedora and sexy boots for her dog walks. She looks incredible. I told her so recently. She already knew it! 😂 Sometimes I make an effort when I walk my dogs but mostly I go out looking a bit ropey and hoping I don’t see anyone I know! Just be you. No one actually gives a shit.

Concentrate on your own game & just let people do their own thing.

You never know, you might lead the way and people will start upping their outfits and you can all forget you’re at work and pretend you’re in a fashion show. 😉

@Ceci03 'She's very slim and has a big thigh gap tho (trying not to be jealous lol) so they don't look terrible on her except they are leggings'
Not sure where to start with this....I'm going to guess that the majority of women that will put their leggings on today won't have a thigh gap, shockingly a fair few of them will be overweight.

I love not having to get trussed up like a Christmas turkey to go to work. Some days I go in a hoody, leggings and trainers (great in winter when it's cold) other days I go in a dress (great in summer when it's boiling). I wear makeup every day, the 3 ladies I share the office with do not wear makeup, none of us give a shit!
I actually think it's great that none of my younger colleagues had to go through wearing the crap I had to put up with in the name of professionalism, if we could also extend this to all schools in the country and ditch blazers, shirts and ties for kids I would be thrilled!

These are all your insecurities, not theirs.

No one will care what you wear, except you may get compliments.

Yes you should be asking about your confidence. Because women have been told long enough what to wear for others' eyes and feelings....
That time is going. We can dress up if we want to, dress down if we want to.

Just wear what you want, who cares!?

This is a self esteem and stereotyping issue of yours. Not a clothing issue of theirs.
Fitting in by visually being the same as other is something you should have left behind in your teens. Actions, personality, and the way you interact with people is how adults connect and create a sense of belonging.

Why?

Why should other people have to dress up just to please the op?

How old are you OP? To me, just it just sounds like you're a bit younger and lacking confidence.

Without meaning to sound patronising, when you get to your 30s, you get a better perspective on things. You realise what matters, and what doesn't.

YABU, why does it matter.

What they're wearing isn't affecting your work, what you're wearing is. You definietly need to work on your confidence.

I wear super comfy clothes for my finance job, usually leggings and a oversized fleece, I recently decided I'd never take a job again where I'd be expected to dress "smartly" there's just no need, my brain is smart as hell and that's what matters

My workplace has a dress policy. It is essentially no see-through clothing, no offensive slogans or logos and that's about it. We're actively encouraged to wear casual wear because of the sector we work in/clients we support and not wanting to create an air of authority or power imbalance.

I think industry is important. In my office, if you turned up in a blazer you'd probably be asked if you had a job interview 😁

I feel the same OP! I’ve started just wearing what I want though.

If you just keep wearing what you want to wear people will get used to it and it will be you, iyswim. The first few times will be the hardest but be your ‘authentic self’. Then it will get easier. People really don’t pay as much attention to others as we think they do. Try it, what have you got to lose?
My workplace is still formal though overall so I am used to dressing formally at work. Sometimes it is annoying and I just want to wear sth relaxed so at least you have options. ☺️

My work has a dress code. We have always been on the more casual side of business casual - with the expectation that if meeting clients, especially potential ones we will dress appropriately.

after the lockdowns we were casual casual and now it’s more of a hybrid dress code. Has to be work appropriate. No shorts. No flip flops. No skinny straps on tops. Nothing we’d wear to the beach etc.

Definitely wear what you want. My manager wears fairly smart dresses and jackets when the rest of us schlep in wearing jeans.

My colleague wears a shirt everyday (albeit a casual type shirt rather than a traditional suit shirt)

Really?

I work in the City for a reinsurer and we can wear whatever we want.

Op just take the plunge and wear some of your new clothes, perhaps your colleagues feel the same way you do,they may want to dress up more but are too worried about standing out, you might start a trend you never know! Just wear whatever you feel confident in.

What they wear is none of your concern. Wear what you want.
Our office has no dress code, which is normal these days, most people wear jeans, t-shirts, casual dresses and sometimes leggings. I dress as I would for any other day. There are a handful of people who wear officewear and literally no one gives a shit.

There's no dress code at all at my work (and we are 'customer' facing). Some people dress us and some dress right down. No one cares.

Yabu to want to inflict a dress code on people where there isn't one! I actually detest dress codes at work. Pressure to wear uncomfortable clothes all day. Black trousers and a top, a la Next, day in day out is not a good look on anyone.

I wear more formal clothes at work than most of my colleagues and honestly don’t care. You need to develop your own sense of self rather than being miffed that others won’t wear the same types of clothes as you to make you not be the outlier.