To not let my mums friend visit while potty training

[raisinglittleones]

We have decided to start potty training our 2020 baby this weekend - I’ve had it blocked out in the diary for weeks so we are all home and able to focus on the task at hand. We also have a 2021 baby so definitely need all hands on deck!

My mum has now sprung on me that a friend of hers (who is the dad of someone I used to go to school with as a child but haven’t seen in maybe 10 or more years) is staying with her this weekend and he would love to see me and the kids. I said that because of the potty training I wasn’t comfortable with having someone who is essentially a stranger (especially to my son) in the house while we are going through this big change, as I want my son to feel at ease and relaxed and not be overwhelmed.

She’s taken it personally and has said that I shouldn’t call him a stranger when he’s such a big part of our past and that his wife passed away recently so I should show some compassion.

AIBU? Am I overreacting? I've never potty trained before so have no idea what to expect - would it be fine if this guy pops round for an hour or so?

OMG you are so overreacting.

I really don’t understand why this would be an issue. You just take them to the toilet frequently so not any other issues apart from that surely ? If you make it into a big thing your son will probably be very anxious about toilet training.

If it's just for an hour or so, it'll be fine.

Ha ha you aren't serious though?

It does sound like you are putting way too much pressure on this which might make your anxious about it

Is this actually a serious question?! You're potty training, not sending a man to the moon. YABVVVU.

I thought you were going to say that the problem was that your toddler is wandering around without underwear as part of potty training.

If it's really going to be an hour then it's fine but you'll have to make sure that toddler understands that it's ok to interrupt you so that you can take him to the loo.

Crikey I think you're making it a much bigger deal than it needs to be.

Child says they need a wee or poo. Take them to the toilet or potty. Deal with the wee or poo. Wash hands. Carry on.

You’re seriously worried about someone popping round for an hour?? You sound unbelievably precious and controlling; ‘blocked out in the diary’ 🤣🤣

You know what, it doesn't matter what people on here think OP. You're not comfortable with it and that's all that matters.

I can't say I would have thought twice about this tbh. Main thing is: does this guy have a high tolerance level for accidents and bare bums and conversation revolving around wee and poo?!

What are you actual plans around potty training? It all sounds very stressful and dramatic

Yes, you are over reacting and making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be.

Aren't you going out anywhere ? As part of the training you will have to go out sometime.

The way you’ve worded it is a tad precious but I essentially agree with you because we did the oh crap method so kids running around naked and I definitely wouldn’t have a man I didn’t know coming round! Compromise could be seeing them in the evening when kids are in bed but it’s also fine if you’d rather relax on your own- first few days of training are intense!!

I agree with you OP, potty training when done intensely and with sticking to a home based routine with no visitors can be very successful and can be completed in a few days. I’ve done it with 2 children and ensured it was just us in the home looking out for signs of the DC needing the toilet. after 3 days they’d both nailed it.

As an aside, I really am against people you met donkey’s years ago coming over the gawp and fuss at children. They aren’t playthings or props and they aren’t public property. My mum has done this - “Oh remember Christine? You do, you remember, she lived near us when you were 4, she used to babysit you! She really wants to meet the baby! So I’ll pop round on Thursday with hwr!”. Why? Is Christine a weirdo? Why does she want to meet a stranger’s baby?

I wouldn't worry about it. Just get on with life as usual! I stayed at home for a few days to make life easier (potty always to hand in the same room), but I had people over during this period without issue.

You are making a way bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.

What's a 2020 baby? January or December? Are they even ready? Blocking out time in the diary is rather bonkers.

I agree with you OP, I'm a nanny and when potty training we had them naked from the waist down and also spent more time focussed on them watching for signs. One of the children I worked with had serious issues around pooing and you had to be ready to rush them into the potty unless you wanted to be cleaning poo off the floor.

I really wouldn't be in the headspace to entertain guests.

And it can be done in 3 days if you do the intense method which I've done with some children, so for the OP the weekend is 2 of those days.

Why are you making a big deal out of potty training? Think you need to get a grip! It's not a military operation 😂 ffs ...

Imagine if the child takes months to potty train ... 😂

It isn't. Depending on the method used some parents take time off. Also if planning on having children naked, time does matter depending on the weather/time of year etc.

Literally what?? This is so odd!