To not let my mums friend visit while potty training

[raisinglittleones]

We have decided to start potty training our 2020 baby this weekend - I’ve had it blocked out in the diary for weeks so we are all home and able to focus on the task at hand. We also have a 2021 baby so definitely need all hands on deck!

My mum has now sprung on me that a friend of hers (who is the dad of someone I used to go to school with as a child but haven’t seen in maybe 10 or more years) is staying with her this weekend and he would love to see me and the kids. I said that because of the potty training I wasn’t comfortable with having someone who is essentially a stranger (especially to my son) in the house while we are going through this big change, as I want my son to feel at ease and relaxed and not be overwhelmed.

She’s taken it personally and has said that I shouldn’t call him a stranger when he’s such a big part of our past and that his wife passed away recently so I should show some compassion.

AIBU? Am I overreacting? I've never potty trained before so have no idea what to expect - would it be fine if this guy pops round for an hour or so?

In my experience kids potty train when they’re ready, not to a schedule.
You can obviously set aside time to let your DC be nappy free and use the potty when needed, but to do nothing but focus on their next wee or BM all weekend would kind of add to pressure more than a visitor I think?

Unless said person would make a huge deal of any naked bums, or random accidents.

Good for you but that’s not the method OP is going with because <newsflash> every child is different.

So how do you know when a child’s ready and what makes you think OP’s child isn’t ready?

My dd did exactly this. Poo in her night time nappy. Wee in the first morning one. Then took off her next nappy, held it in her hand. Declared ‘I not wear nappy no more, I big’. I insisted she wore one at night but after a couple of weeks of zero accidents, we stopped with that too. She was just turned 3. Now 14 and still as determined as ever. I did try a couple of times before to potty train her but it didn’t work.

If your ds is going to be naked op, can you get a cheap skirt for Jim to wear or borrow one from a friend for the duration of a visit or see the man by yourself for an hour?

*him

@LifeIsPainHighness but OP asked for opinions 🤷‍♀️ also doesn't putting trousers on solve the issue??

Just introduce the potty! They’ll use it if they want to and won’t if not. Its not an all weekend job

If you wait until your child is ready to potty train it takes hours. Minutes if you 're really lucky!

All of this! I wouldn’t want some random man (yes, he’s a random man. You knew of him 10 years ago. Random man.) at my house at all let alone while I’m potty training a child.

yes, of course, YOU decided that your child was ready, and you MADE him being potty trained in a day. Well done super mum.😂I guess yours were potty trained at 2, maybe 1? Super mums always have children who potty trained pretty much from birth.

The rest of us have obviously failed. Oh well 😂

If a child is NT and has no extra needs and they are ready to potty train then there is absolutely no need for a big song and dance around it! If they are ready they will be dry within 2-3 days, with the odd little accident! Absolutely no need at all to put life on hold so they can run around naked for days 🙄.

Ready = ready to learn IMO

Do people really have children that just go from nappies to taking themselves to the loo and managing holding it on outings one day to the next? Mine didn’t! Day 1 watch them like a hawk, chuck them onto the potty whenever something starts happening. Day 2 they start initiating but with very little warning so need the potty close. Day 3 get a bit better at holding it. Day 4 normal business resumes. No big deal or drama.

You're way over reacting.

Complete over reaction. I never understood the whole potty training thing being a military operation. I never trained my kids they just started wanting to use the toilet once they were ready. It was just a natural progression 🤷. Never even owned a potty.

sorry that was in response to LifeIsPainHighness. Obv do whatever best for OP, just I feel it doesn’t take place all in one go

I understand how you want to do it perfectly. I would say that most people don't dedicate a full week to purely potty training whatever the method, most will go to appointments, the school run, the shop or whatever.

Having an hour with a pair of pants or shorts on instead of being naked won't make the potty training a disaster. I would also be aware that it may not work this time- they may not get it for whatever reason and you may need to try again. Don't be too demoralised. (I had one kid who mastered poos from day 1 but couldn't do wees and then the second one was the opposite!) very glad I don't need to potty train again!!

I don't get how a stranger in the house is an issue. Surely they won't be left alone with them?

She didn’t ask for opinions on potty training tips.

Solve what issue?

100% agree. Mine were both dry from day one. I think my son had one accident on the school run.

That's how my sisters and I did it, but

No, apparently children must be potty trained on the day decided by mummy who has booked it on the calendar.

(In my experience, these children are the ones who end up with non-stop "accidents" for weeks, if not months and who are not potty trained at night any time soon. If a child has accident, they are not "potty trained", but then mums can't brag about their superior parenting 😂)

@LifeIsPainHighness the issue of a stranger being in the house

Mine were trained at 2.5 because they were ready and OH and I took time off work to nail it in a few days with staying at home, no visitors and a strict routine. HTH.

Yes they do. I waited until my kids asked. Only one accident with my son on the second day.

@Purplepeaches123 mine were as well. If they are ready its easy, if they are not ready then it just becomes a big drama!

No op, you are being ridiculous here...but it IS mumsnet I suppose