To not let my mums friend visit while potty training

[raisinglittleones]

We have decided to start potty training our 2020 baby this weekend - I’ve had it blocked out in the diary for weeks so we are all home and able to focus on the task at hand. We also have a 2021 baby so definitely need all hands on deck!

My mum has now sprung on me that a friend of hers (who is the dad of someone I used to go to school with as a child but haven’t seen in maybe 10 or more years) is staying with her this weekend and he would love to see me and the kids. I said that because of the potty training I wasn’t comfortable with having someone who is essentially a stranger (especially to my son) in the house while we are going through this big change, as I want my son to feel at ease and relaxed and not be overwhelmed.

She’s taken it personally and has said that I shouldn’t call him a stranger when he’s such a big part of our past and that his wife passed away recently so I should show some compassion.

AIBU? Am I overreacting? I've never potty trained before so have no idea what to expect - would it be fine if this guy pops round for an hour or so?

Well the child must be turning three this year, maybe she’s not one of the parents that leaves it until they are at school.

People are so nasty on here. I did the Oh Crap method with my first and plan I doing it when my second is ready. I get it - you don’t want a stranger round while your son is naked from the waist down. I also understand the organisation. The people on here are the ones who go back and forth between nappies.

Nope. Trained 4 kids, no pull ups or "back and forth with nappies" straight into pants and 2 of them didn't even use a potty. It's to do with your CHILD being ready, and booking a week off work is useless if your child isn't at the right point to train. Just because it worked for your first child, don't believe it will be the same with your second. All mine were different ages before they were ready and no amount of earlier tries would have worked.

To be honest, my youngest genuinely did just start using the toilet one day. At 3, I thought he was ready but he kept having loads of accidents so I gave up and put him back in pull ups, then one day at just before 3 and a half, he went to the toilet by himself. And that was it. No accidents, no nighttime accidents - literally the easiest potty training ever. I think sometimes people rush it and then end up with lots of accidents or worrying about where the nearest toilet is. I wish I hadn’t tried at 3, when he was ready, he just did it himself!

Made an account just to reply to this. You are allowed to say no to visitors. Doesn't matter how long they stay, how long you've known them, how old your kid is. If you are having a tough time, or your kid is, or even if you are just having a bad day - you are allowed to say no - and you do not have to explain yourself. Ignore all these people telling you you're overreacting, yeah you might be - but people need to respect your boundaries, including your mum. By explaining that you think this man is a stranger you've upset your mum but so what, she'll get over it. Just tell her you're not comfortable and you want her to respect your boundaries at this tough time. :-)

You really don't need to block out your diary. Just put your child in some pants and get on with it. I would be surprised if you crack it in a couple of days anyway, and having house guests really won't make any difference. Good luck!

I can't get past the '2020' and '2021' baby thing...is this how we are now labelling our offspring? Is it a post-Covid baby labelling thing? To let us 'pre-Covid mums' know that our children are somehow different to those born into a world tainted by a pandemic!

Can someone please explain this to me? 🤦‍♀️🤣

You need to prepare yourself for the potential that your DS won’t potty train in a few days or even a week so I hope you’ve got a lot of time booked off work!
Learning to use the toilet is like learning a new language therefore won’t necessarily be accomplished in a set time you have pencilled in to complete it.
It will however be accomplished when your child learns the cues his body is giving him.
Honestly YABU.
The guy visiting with your mum has kids if his own so I am quite sure he’s done potty training too & won’t be put off by parents doing what parents have to do to help their kids learn how to use the toilet.
Have him come visit for an hour, make sure son goes to the loo before the visit starts & - no pun intended - go with the flow.

I thought maybe being coy about how old these kids really are.

U can have a degree all u want, we are all parents so don't dare make out u know better than any other parent.