DD lost money

[StarDolphins]

My 7 year old is alway messing in her money box, taking notes out & leaving them in various places for me to put back.

I’ve just gone in her bedroom, the lid is off & she can’t remember where the money is, she thinks she put it in the drawer but it’s not there. I can’t find it. I’ve told her I’m disappointed & cross & she knows I’m not happy at all & shes devastated at me being upset & cross. She doesn’t care about the money one bit, more that I forgive her.

Aibu to say she has to save her spends to put the money back now instead of spending it like she usually does?

How much was in the money box? Is it from her pocket money or from gifts? Does she have a bank account? If you insist she puts her "spends" (is this pocket money or stuff you buy her?) in the box, will the same thing happen again?

Just get her a moneybox that can't be opened or you keep one for her.

I voted YABU because if you know she does this (my 7 year old does this too - she plays 'shopping') , I would have looked after any notes and just left her with the coins until shes old enough to not play with it.

It’s her money box? That she’s lost her money by messing around?

i’d say the punishment has already been made! Poor kid’s lost her money and now had her mum in a grump. If it was savings then it should be in an account- if it was hers in a money box and you noticed she kept leaving it around, at 7 years old it’s on you to move it higher or deal with the consequences

Is this her money or your money? If it’s your money she needs to make some gesture towards replacing it. If it’s her money surely the natural consequence is that she’s lost it - why does she need an extra consequence?

She's lost the money. It's a natural consequence. No extra punishment needed.

She's 7 and she's already taken the notes out of her box before.

I think you need to keep larger amounts of money safe for her until she's shown she can be responsible for smaller amounts (i.e. a handful of coins).

Chances are it won't have left the house and has just been out somewhere daft, so I wouldn't be too panicky about replacing it until you've had a wee while to check the daft places.

No, the money in her money box is just savings that she’s had from family. Her spends is just for spending as she gets it.

Take some responsibility mama and get her a more secure box! She's 7!

Surely the money will turn up though, as you know its still in the house.
I wouldn't give any additional punishment, I would get her looking properly for it though and then get it into a secure money box/into the bank

She isn’t arsed though about the missing money so how will she learn to look after her stuff? & she will be even less bothered when it gets to Friday & I give her £5 to go & buy.a cute plushy.

I would open a bank, post office or building society account for her and put her savings and cash presents from family in there. Encourage her to save half her pocket money and put it in the account and keep the rest for spending.

I’ve painted her bedroom Saturday so it could be anywhere! Even chucked if it’s blown into a bag etc.

I mean you're the adult, you know she messes around with her money yet you chose to leave it in her reach. I think you need to replace her money so you learn a lesson!

She is 7, she really isn't going to get the value of money until she can understand prices and how they relate to her pocket money. That will probably be when she truly wants something and has to save up for it over a period of weeks or months.

Plenty of 7 year old have money boxes, nothing irresponsible in it.

So she is 7 and has mislaid some money. You have made her feel awful about it and you want to punish her by not allowing her to spend her usual spending money?

Sounds horrible to me.

I would have helped mine look for it and told them not to worry about it. The natural consequence is she no longer has the money (for now, it should turn up?) she doesn't need your disappointment or punishment.

How much money are you talking about as your reaction seems a bit OTT . If it’s a lot then you are as much to blame for leaving it where a child can mess about with it .

If she sees money as something not to be fussed about and just treats it like a toy... isn't that on you?

Yes she does mess with it but there have been more times that she’s looked at the money & put it back.

But you know she takes the notes out and leaves them all over the place.

I think have her pay back a portion of it though her spending money. She will learn consequence and maybe realise that money is not a toy

If she's not bothered then I wouldn't be bothered either. She was playing with it and now it's lost. Probably easy to do if her room was being decorated.

The way you are teaching her about money mustn't be working so I'd focus on changing that if you want her to value it more.

I’d be withholding pocket money etc until she understands the consequences of losing it. If accidental I could say you shouldn’t punish her but she’s done this on purpose and not the first time. Although she’s 7 she doesn’t understand the value, by removing her reward every week and stopping the nice treats and explaining this is what her ‘money box’ could have paid for she may gain a better grasp of the cost and value of money. But again I second other PPs, if it’s over £20
take it out and either change for a few £5s and coins if she like to play shops but put the rest in an accounr

She’s really not in any way bothered about this money. She’s solely focused on her £5 spends as this is what she gets to convert to toys.

I'm sorry but you're the one to blame.

You knew she played with it and let it happen repeatedly. It was just a matter of time before it went missing! You should have removed it and put it somewhere safe.

I also think you're being quite cruel to her now. She's 7!