DD lost money

[StarDolphins]

My 7 year old is alway messing in her money box, taking notes out & leaving them in various places for me to put back.

I’ve just gone in her bedroom, the lid is off & she can’t remember where the money is, she thinks she put it in the drawer but it’s not there. I can’t find it. I’ve told her I’m disappointed & cross & she knows I’m not happy at all & shes devastated at me being upset & cross. She doesn’t care about the money one bit, more that I forgive her.

Aibu to say she has to save her spends to put the money back now instead of spending it like she usually does?

Then don’t give her “spends” if she doesn’t understand the value of what she’s lost

I get what you’re saying but she’s not in any way bothered about the money in her money box & I am bothered (rightly or wrongly).

How much has she mislaid

How much?

Because she’s 7 and she doesn’t understand the value of money - all she understands is that you’re upset. Losing the money is punishment enough for her. Get her a money box with a lock, come on now.

There is £60 missing. She even said she’s not upset about the money but is upset she got told off.

Because she doesn’t understand the value

If I said no £5 this week to spend as you choose straight away & buy something to play with, she will be extremely upset.

If I say money is missing (that you don’t get to spend, it just sits there) she literally couldn’t give a rats ass!

No spending month for a few months then. Until she values it.

It’s £60. She will remember how you were angry with her for life. £60 is the equivalent of a bad takeaway.
Go make up and help her choose a secure money box, she’s learned your lesson now

But if she doesn’t get £5 at weekend to go to the shops with, she’ll be v upset!

Because she clearly doesn’t grasp what she has lost. Focus on teaching her what she has misplaced

I’ve told her I’m disappointed & cross & she knows I’m not happy at all & shes devastated at me being upset & cross. She doesn’t care about the money one bit, more that I forgive her.

This sounds pretty unpleasant. Why are you letting her have so much money, why are you upset and cross when she can't handle it, why is she so upset about your reaction.

This does not sound healthy at all.

What's the point of this money if she doesn't spend it? Why would she value something she doesn't use?

If it bothers you so much then you need to keep the money somewhere safe.

Tell her if she finds the money she can spend it on what she wants. Give it a value she understands.

Then you need to think of a new way of saving as this doesn't work and causes upset. It doesn't work, she's not ready yet.

Yes but it’s the immediate gratification of getting a toy right away - the money still doesn’t mean anything to her. She’ll be sad she’s not getting the toy.

what would you usually get the savings for? Logically, when it comes time to spend that or there’s a big thing she wants, she has to wait until she has enough savings. But I do think you’re asking a lot of your 7 year old, and that much money should be locked away - especially if she’s previously played with it.

Ok thank you, I’ll do this. I told her before she went to sleep that I still love her more than anything & that sometimes I can be cross & upset but that it doesn’t change my love.

I still don’t want to give her the fiver at the weekend🤣

She is only 7. You have a warped view on this IMO.

If I say money is missing (that you don’t get to spend, it just sits there) she literally couldn’t give a rats ass!

She needs to learn then. How about the weekly £5 goes in the money box and not on toys until she replaces what she lost.

That is a lot though and I wonder if it a lack of realising the value of it all.

This. Youre the adult here.

Just to add, I moved the money box straight away & she won’t have access to it now.

You give her £5 a week? At 7???
Not surprised she doesn't know the value of money, she has access to far too much of it! Use this as a teaching moment and don't buy her anything this weekend. Explain she lost money and now she has to replace it. You are mad though giving her £5 a week for toys. Mad.

If you take her spending money, it won't make any difference to how she values the money in the money box and it won't make any difference to whether she plays with it and loses it. Some DCs fidget. None of them think they shouldn't touch something that their parents leave easily accessible. This is on you.

She's already upset you're upset with her, and now you want to make sure she's upset again at the weekend so she's as upset in total as yo u are?