DD lost money

[StarDolphins]

My 7 year old is alway messing in her money box, taking notes out & leaving them in various places for me to put back.

I’ve just gone in her bedroom, the lid is off & she can’t remember where the money is, she thinks she put it in the drawer but it’s not there. I can’t find it. I’ve told her I’m disappointed & cross & she knows I’m not happy at all & shes devastated at me being upset & cross. She doesn’t care about the money one bit, more that I forgive her.

Aibu to say she has to save her spends to put the money back now instead of spending it like she usually does?

🤣 I just call it that because that was what it was called when I was a child!

Yes, my money just grows out of the tree at the bottom of the garden, then I pick it off. This week it’s really come in handy to replace a lost scrunchie, a sun hat, suncream, some nice expensive sunglasses & a lost watch.

Teach her how to look after her money by opening a bank account

Thank you, that’s why I knee jerk thought she can’t have £5 handed to her in a few days to spemd as she’ll just give even less of a rats ass about losing things.

The more I think of it, it could be anything (yes not good me leaving money in her room even though she should be able to follow instructions not to open it) but the fact is, I am constantly replacing lost things.

i won’t make her replace the lost money but I will start either not replacing lost things or I will say she has to use her savings (which will comprise of £1/2 out of her £5.

How do you know the moneys definitely gone, unless she has been out of the house with it. It's a bit farcical to accuse her of not being responsible when you are seemingly giving up finding it without searching high and low for it

I will do this but it will be for my benefit. If she hasn’t been taught anything by seeing her money grow in her money box (which is why it gets lost as she counts it/looks at it) then she won’t gain anything from a bank account. She will only appreciate it when she’s older.

Read the thread for ideas.

The responses on this thread are utterly ridiculous. I don't think that you are wrong to be upset and want your daughter to use her pocket money to replace some of the savings money that she misplaced OP. I think you've been jumped on by some very sanctimonious people in this thread, but that's often the way on here.

I do think that it would be a good idea to perhaps keep notes in a money box that can't be opened, or a bank account, moving forwards.

I have mostly, have you looked through your bins? Kitchen cupboards in case she pretended to shop in them?

We had similar. All present money goes into their bank account and only pocket money in money box which I keep in my bedroom

Ps wasn't meaning to sound like I was down on you, that serves no purpose at all.

Thank you & I agree & will do this.

Most of the people I encounter on here are lovely, kind & helpful & I really do like it but some 2 on here (& on other threads) are just vile - calling people nasty & unsupportive parents (this one looked like it’s been deleted though so that’s good)

I know & I’m sorry💐

She said she put it in the drawer as she was counting it but then changed it to can’t really remember. Then she just wanted me to not be cross about it.

She then said it was last week she ‘counted (lost🤣) it but I’ve decorated her room since then with all the windows open/rubbish being chucked so I’m just at a loss.

I’ve searched her room & it’s not there.

7 is quite young to keep physical money..?

I bet it will turn up when you least expect it. I'd let her have a piggy bank for coinage and use bank for notes. Don't be too hard on her or yourself, these things happen. We live and we learn.

Original

I won’t, thank you. I will give her a big cuddle in the morning & tell her that although I would like her to try & look after her things, i shouldn’t have left it in her room as I know it’s tempting to keep getting it out.

Then I will open a bank account with her & just keep her coins in her room.

Surely her not being arsed about the money bank money is because she's got £5 a week to spend on toys. £5 sounds loads for a 7 year old, probably more disposable income than a lot of adults on here! If she can already fund a new toy a week just from her pocket money then her savings will remain an irrelevance because what is she saving them for.
Obviously it'd be hard to reduce now without it feeling like a punishment, but say she got £1 a week pocket money and could buy some sweets weekly, or a small toy every couple of weeks, then she'd see the valid of using savings for something like a plushie.

Yes totally get what you’re saying & £5 is too much (and I buy her sweets/ice cream etc) but I can’t take it away now. Not going to mention it this week but soon I will say something like from 7 it’s best to save a bit as you’ll want more expensive things so you can have £3/4 to spend then the rest is saved.

There’s more Ty teddies & key rings in this house than at the factory I think!

Why aren't you going to mention it this week?
Cause and effect works best when it's current.

Plenty of 7 year old have money boxes, nothing irresponsible in it.

Yes they do. But I doubt many of them have £60 in a money box that they open , play with and then lose!!!

That's what was irresponsible. That sort of amount should have been at least kept out of her reach, or even better out in an account for her.

There’s more Ty teddies & key rings in this house than at the factory I think!

What a waste of the earth's resources.

I would personally reduce her physical pocket money (or spends if you prefer) to something where she'd need to save to buy a plushie. It's not a natural consequence of her losing the money, but a re-evaluation of what you currently do. If she's getting instant gratification every week then why would she really understand the value of money (and taking care of possessions since that seems to possibly be more of the issue?)

Sit her down and explain that you're not doing it to punish but you were in the wrong too. Adults make mistakes too etc. She may be upset, but so is a child when you won't let them get an ice cream from a van!! Maybe do £2 a week in cash, and pop £3 in a saver with an app if you still want to give her £5 (I wouldn't personally as it's a lot but each to their own!) She can see the balance on your phone but also keep a paper tracker - like oh the toy I want from Argos costs £12... mark off the money until she's got £12 and then she can spend it. That little bit of saving time also teaches a lot about the value of things and reduces impulse spending! It's still her money that she can spend more than once a year, but there's less mental pressure to spend immediately.

And stop replacing things she loses!! She'll never learn to value stuff if it keeps getting replaced. If it's something that really needs replaced, then the money will need to come out of her savings/pocket money.

7 years old is completely old enough to understand that things cost and need to be looked after. You just need to work on how you teach that.