DD lost money

[StarDolphins]

My 7 year old is alway messing in her money box, taking notes out & leaving them in various places for me to put back.

I’ve just gone in her bedroom, the lid is off & she can’t remember where the money is, she thinks she put it in the drawer but it’s not there. I can’t find it. I’ve told her I’m disappointed & cross & she knows I’m not happy at all & shes devastated at me being upset & cross. She doesn’t care about the money one bit, more that I forgive her.

Aibu to say she has to save her spends to put the money back now instead of spending it like she usually does?

It's not punishment though. It simply means that she won't be able to spend her money until she replaces her savings. It isn't taking money from her to keep for OP, it is just replacing the savings. Which are more important than plushies.

I know that you don't plan to make her replace the money any more OP, but I honestly think that you should consider it. It's no great hardship to have 12 less plushies, but the lesson that she would learn could be very beneficial.

My child is 5 and currently has about £150 in notes in their bedroom, as we haven't been to the bank yet to deposit it. People act like you are so irresponsible for letting your DD keep money in her room, but it's not unusual at all. Grandparents give £10 here or there, they do a few chores, it quickly adds up.

It really does mount up doesn’t it.

Initially, I wanted to not give her the £5 this weekend so she learns that when you
lose something/don’t take care of it, there are consequences but on reflection, I have already ‘punished’ her (albeit not on purpose as I genuinely felt cross with her), she hardly gets told off by me & this in itself really upset her (and me because I do t like being cross either!)

I won’t be replacing lost things as standard now if she has an older alternative to use. She loses things daily!

I will be insisting now that out of her weekly money, she gets to spend some but must also save some.

Good point.

I'd be concerned that she had taken the money to school and given it out. She wouldn't be the first.
Check on that, then open her a bank acc and let her out her savings in there.

She’d definitely not give her money away! She will only give plushies/trinkets if its a swap for something she sees as an acceptable exchange!

More likely is that she’s pulled it out to count, left it hanging round or it’s blown/dropped somewhere & it’s got chucked by me somehow when her room is upside down while I was decorating.

Or it might turn up I guess. Either way, I will learn from it & a bank acc will be opened.

I'm sorry but this is on you as much as it's on her. £60 it a lot of money to leave in a money box.

She's 7 of course she doesn't understand the value of money.

Don't be this kind of parent OP.

Your 7 year old has done the kind of thing 7 year olds do.

Don't keep punishing her and making it a massive deal.

Parents like this raise anxious, people pleasing adults who are terrified of making any mistake.

Give her a break.

I was critical of your drawn out punishment last night but I do think it's reasonable given how much money she has a week to do something like this.
Sunglasses don't need replacing, she told you she'd wear her old ones. So do that where stuff has to be replaced but don't insist she has to have new stuff of she's happy with the old. If she needs a new sun hat, she puts a £1 towards it etc.

However he prepared for it not working. I lost everything as a kid, PE kits, house keys, umbrellas etc. No punishment worked because I couldn't help it. My brain was too full of STUFF to remember everything. I'm marginally better as an adult. But bank cards, God I can't keep track of them. Phones get lost occasionally and it costs ME money and time and anguish and self loathing but I still can't not lose stuff.

Well yes, I have addressed this point 26 times on this post. I think page 2 or 3 I said I won’t be getting her to pay it back & the only punishment has been my initial cross reaction.

Not sure where I’ve given the impression to warrant ‘don’t keep punishing her and making it a massive deal’.

I also stated many times & will again confirm, she rarely gets told off so she certainly won’t be ‘terrified’ of making a mistake.

Yes, I do lose things too so I get you.

Yes, good idea thank you. I won’t be replacing stuff where she has an older alternative and where there’s no alternative, I will pay most & get her to contribute £1. The sun hat was lost on day 1!
I know it’s completely normal for any age to lose things, especially children. She has other, more important things to think about & I get it. She just seems not in the slightest bit bothered & quite excessive with losing things!