for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

Because she’s a grown up and can eat as she pleases.

Exactly this

People get gall stones for all sorts of reasons, no one would be able to prove definitively that a keto diet caused it

Unfortunately this often happens to people who are on a diet. Those around them get upset about it for some reason, even if the diet is not very restrictive. I don't agree with the Keto diet and all agree that it is not a long term diet. But, that being said, he is way over the line in suggesting (demanding) that you must eat the leftover chips because he made too many.
It is not your fault he made too many. What does he think you are? A food disposal he can just chuck his leftovers into? How dare he try to make his food mismanagement your issue? And I don't believe he is concerned because if that was so, he would be trying to get you to eat boiled potatoes, baked potatoes, other vegetables. Not fried chips.
I would watch out. If you watch any of the 600lb shows you will see that a lot of the men start to get very upset when their partners start losing weight. He may need to talk with someone about what he is feeling.

I don’t like food waste at all, but you being expected to eat up the extra food because someone else cooked too much is ridiculous. He should eat it! Even if you weren’t on keto you shouldn’t be forced to eat something. And yes he shouldn’t have said what he kid in front of the kids!

There's nothing healthy about a keto diet. Up you intake of vegetables, beans, pulses, nuts, seeds, fruit and whole grains, reduce your sugar, cut down on red meat, reduce processed foods and cut out ultra-processed altogether. That way, you can eat with your family - they'll be better for eating that way - you'll lose weight and you'll be healthier for this way of eating as well.

Look up the details in some of Michael Moseley's books, or sign up for Zoe and have your diet monitored based on your own specific blood sugar, fat and gut biome profiles.

Apparently if I'd done the keto diet I'd be dead... Maybe your DH is just worried about unhealthy, unbalanced diets that cause poor relationships with food, rather than you eating sensibly. He was wrong to embarrass you though.

He is being completely unreasonable! He should respect your decision to stick to your diet. He or your son could put away the extra chips and eat it with the next meal if they really wanted to.

I think a few of you need to read the OP again as the OP states;
"I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo...."
And is currently not eating leftovers with ketchup and mayo 🙃

There's nothing healthy about a keto diet. Up you intake of vegetables, beans, pulses, nuts, seeds, fruit and whole grains, reduce your sugar, cut down on red meat, reduce processed foods and cut out ultra-processed altogether. That way, you can eat with your family - they'll be better for eating that way - you'll lose weight and you'll be healthier for this way of eating as well.

I eat vegetables, nuts and seeds, I don't eat sugar and no ultra processed at all. Typical dinner is some protein, lots of green leafy veg, some fat. Whether that's a tricolori salad or a steak with spinach and butter or salmon with dill, broccolini and dressing depends. Does any of that sound like 'nothing healthy'? Really?

Better than chips, I'd say.

Huge flaw in your statement there, because plenty of people who go on keto do it to fix and reverse health problems and it works far better for them than the diet you described.

My nutritionist put me on a diet similar to what you described and it did nothing for me. Keto worked wonders for my health.

A diet of veg, beans, wholegrains etc did me zero good at all considering I couldn't absorb the nutrients due to inflammation, and the cortisol in my body was out of control.

Exactly @Boomshock

Grains, fruit and pulses would have me doubled over in pain. I can do FODMAP to control the IBS but honestly keto is much easier to keep straight because it's not a massive list like NO apricots but YES melon, NO chickpeas but YES porridge oats. Total pain in the arse.

Keto is absolutely not for everyone. But clean keto really does work for some people.

And you can’t eat tomato on keto

@MrsTerryPratchett
Absolutely.

Anyone who has ever dealt with the hell of inflammation or food intolerances or IBS etc. will know that not feeling like absolute shit is priceless, and if you find a diet that makes you feel good then you go with it and it is in fact the healthiest one for you because then you're not dealing with pain, chronic stress and all the side effects of that too.

Of course you can as long as you keep under your carb limit.

I cook sauces with passata or tinned tomatoes, and would often have some baby tomatoes in a salad.

I suffered 30 years with chronic migraine and sinusitis. I don't even know if all the "keto k!lls you!" brigade understand what kind of life that was. Totally annoys me that the ignorant people have so much confidence to come to a public forum and brazenly declare how keto is a fad diet. For the first time in my life I actually don't have food related anxiety, thanks to keto.

The post that says "vegetables, seeds, nuts, seeds, fruit" - keto is LITERALLY this? Minus the carb addiction? I eat fruit in my keto, it's mango season here, not missing that for anything! I just don't stuff my face with it, just because "YOLO I can do whatever I want, it's my life/body".

For me it's YOLO, too, hence I want to live for a long time, and if that means I should practice moderation, so be it. Today I have one mango. Tomorrow I have 3 squares of high quality 82% dark choc. Yet another day, I have a bowl of biriyani, yumm, and work out extra 30 min. Sugar is a treat, not a daily indulgence. It's sad how many people have forgotten that, thanks to all the insidious marketing and shops parading everything sugary in front of our faces.

The fact you had to "refuse" to eat the chips, and that it's turned into such a Thing, is an issue. If he'd just offered you the chips, you'd politely declined and you'd both moved on, you wouldn't be posting about it here.

@carolnotduffy Just out of pure nosiness, are you a vegetarian? I wonder as a steak was not cooked for you.

Chips don't need to go to waste if you can't eat them. They can be frozen for another day. The only thing I can say is maybe re-think how you refuse surplus food. Maybe " Thank you, I would love the chips but at the moment I can't eat them because of my diet. I will freeze them an enjoy them later." Just an idea.

Not right to speak out like that in front of dc but your diet sounds weird ketchup and mayo on leftovers why have you got to have leftovers?

I had a similar situation a few weeks back. DS1 was midway through his GCSEs and tried a keto diet (he previously used to hoover up the leftovers). DH thought I was BU for supporting DS and tried to make me eat the leftover quinoa burgers. Our disagreement escalated into a fight and he hurled one into my face from across the dining room, making DS1 and DS2 very upset.
I notice this thread hasn’t been commented on, @carolnotduffy what is the current situation with chip-gate?

@MelanieOlhah

what a prick your husband sounds

So your husband's abusive then MelanieOlhah? That's what I would call it. How dare he. How did you react?

Re your last post Op, possibly your son was embarrassed about you two arguing in front of his friend? If so you need to work out a united stance, apologise and assure him it won't happen again

Have you had chips warmed up the day after 🤮