for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

Well he's right about that, he just said it at the wrong time. If you're repeatedly going on diets it does seem that your eating is disordered. If this is another one in a line of diets that you stick to for a while, lose weight with, and then stop doing so you regain the weight, I'm not surprised he's worried.

Re. the chips, that's on him for cooking too many. But you're both BU here. Him for the method of the criticism and you for having a daft diet - and it is daft if you think regular ketchup is in line with keto. I await the drip feed on that one.

I'm trying to lose weight (2 stones), 1 stone down, 1 to go. Healthy eating and daily exercise, cutting out snacking. DH and the DC brought back some chips one evening this week and offered me some. They were delicious 😋 I see no harm in enjoying a few chips/treats from time to time. Diets can be too rigid, setting you up to fail. So enjoy the chips.

theGooHasGone · Yesterday 23:12
Regular ketchup isn't keto, it's full of sugar”

This. Neither of you should be discussing food issues when your child is there. Such a bad example.

For goodness sake everyone, op can eat what she wants!
It’s no one else’s business!

not everyone can eat anything and everything and still be the weight they want to be - so they have to diet. They should be supported with that , not ridiculed.

Boomshock · Today 04:11
Toddlerteaplease · Today 03:49

Isn't a Keto diet supposed to be sugar free and high fat. Ketchup is not going help with that.
Ketchup is fine as long as you're under the carb limit.”

Everything I’ve ever read has said that carbs must be below 20g per day. 5 in a spoonful of ketchup doesn’t leave a lot to play with. The idea is to use up your carbs in the most nutritionally dense way possible. Which is not ketchup.

“Why should you force down food you don't want to eat?”

who could possibly argue with this?!

don’t eat something you don’t want to op, not for your husbands benefit, not for your sons benefit.

This. ^

Had this on a thread yesterday too. A man desperately trying to derail his wife's diet by trying to push a massive high-carb fried breakfast on her, when she just wanted banana on toast. And then threw his dummy out of the pram because she refused the breakfast. He threw it all in the bin, and then stamped off in a fury. But according to the OP's husband, and half the fucking posters, she should have been grateful, because he was BEING KIND and she hurt the poor iccle manz feelz.

As you say, many men don't like their wives having willpower and strength and doing something positive about their lifestyle. And they DEFINITELY don't like them losing weight, and being more confident about their body. Wouldn't want them becoming more attractive and having other men look at them.

These are often the same kind of men who puff their chest out with pride when a woman chats to them/shows the slightest bit of interest in chatting to them. Don't like it when their woman has any man show an interest in talking to her. And they are certainly not going to tolerate a man fancying his woman. So she must not lose weight. Can't have her being all confident and too attractive. (It's often OK for HIM to do it though.)

@carolnotduffy YANBU. Your husband is an arsehole trying to feed you up with carbs! Sounds a bit like one of the men I described there. ^

Is it your fucking business? She's asking for advice on her husband not her diet. So why the fuck do you think she wants you to weigh in on what she eats? Reconsider your disordered mindset.

Well, on the first point, she's asked on a large talkboard whether or not her dietary choice was unreasonable. She's made it other people's business.

And on the second point, people are actually offering good advice on why keto only works in limited circumstances. It isn't for everyone. It's not questioning whether or not she needs to be careful what she eats. It's pointing out that she's unlikely to sustain weight loss going about it in this way. And her son has problems with his body image, so it's actually quite important to sort this out.

I also understood that the OP isn’t against eating leftovers per se, so she eats them most of the time when they are low carb so she’s not wasting food.

Not sure why people are focusing on the ketchup though. I also eat low carb and like to add a little bit to my French beans and hard boiled egg combo that I eat for lunch when I don’t have a lot of time. I still manage to lose weight.

OP your Dh was out of order humiliating you like that.

@WisherWood she asked about a specific issue. She didn't ask for Keto advice. I know it makes you feel smug and exhilarated to shout about someone else's food but just don't. It's very cunty.

IDontWantToBeAPie · Today 09:45
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 09:40

Boomshock · Today 04:11
Toddlerteaplease · Today 03:49

Isn't a Keto diet supposed to be sugar free and high fat. Ketchup is not going help with that.
Ketchup is fine as long as you're under the carb limit.”

Everything I’ve ever read has said that carbs must be below 20g per day. 5 in a spoonful of ketchup doesn’t leave a lot to play with. The idea is to use up your carbs in the most nutritionally dense way possible. Which is not ketchup.

“Is it your fucking business? She's asking for advice on her husband not her diet. So why the fuck do you think she wants you to weigh in on what she eats? Reconsider your disordered mindset”

I beg your pardon? Are you always so rude? I was replying to another poster, not OP.

I do not have a disordered mindset thank you. I eat what I fancy when I fancy it, no disorder here.

Maybe reconsider your manners?

You mix ketchup and mayo and like eat it... Mixed up?

@IDontWantToBeAPie you seem nice. And so balanced too.

His reaction was OTT, but a diet of leftovers with ketchup and mayo sounds unhealthy, so much sugar and not balanced. Surely a steak with a salad is better

Nicer than you. Reconsider why you feel the need to comment on other people's meals on this post. Instead of addressing what she actually asked.

Chips can be reheated in the oven the next day. They're nice in a potato omelette too. No reason for you to be a human dustbin.

They’re delicious together- it’s called salsa rosa in Spain, popular with seafood

Word
and
Word
🙌

@MrsSkylerWhite OK. Your the one taking a thread about a woman's husband not supporting her and turning it into a criticism of her food and saying that ketchup is going to ruin her weight loss... she didn't ask babe

Why are you not eating with your family? Why are you just eating leftovers mixed with ketchup, are you asking DH not to cook for you then just eating what's leftover? Are you making any food of your own or are you just relying on the leftovers?

It must be very frustrating for your DH cooking every night but not knowing where he stands with you and your portion, eating alone with the kids then have you coming in and mixing in what's leftover with ketchup. It just doesn't sound like a healthy example to set for your children and it sounds disruptive to family life. You say you like to be strict with your diets so I'm guessing this isn't the first time you have been on a disruptive diet. I can see why your DH has got fed up with it all.

Your H is an absolute cunt.

OP, I’m low carbing too and have lost 25 pounds so far, with another 20 to go.

Chips would set you back by a week!

Please don’t let him manipulate you into abandoning a way of eating that works for you.

Don't waste your breath. OP asked if her husband was being unreasonable. trying to force his spare chips on her. But people see it as their business and their right to dictate what people eat - and insist that what he said she should eat is much better than her choice. 🙄

Some people on here - some who are women - don't seem to like it that WOMEN have a mind of their own and can CHOOSE WHAT TO EAT THEMSELVES. They must stick their neb in and TELL WOMEN how to eat.

Anyone trying to tell me what to eat/how to eat would get a short shrift from me.

A couple of years ago I was trying to lose 2 stone. Spending two days of the week on 800 to 1000 calories. A kind of intermittent fasting. It worked for me, the weight came off nicely and I felt great, and was more confident and my clothes looked better on me...

There was barely a day went by that my husband didn't say said to me, 'you're not eating enough,' 'you're gonna pass out,' 'you're gonna lose too much weight.' AND 'Oh, are you going to eat a bag of air for lunch?' and 'Are you gonna have a plate of dust for breakfast?' and Are you going to eat a feather for dinner?' Massively sarcastic remarks, because I wasn't eating enough for him.

The more he prattled on and tried to derail my diet with his sarcy remarks, and shoving mars bars in my hand and saying 'go on it's only a bit of chocolate!' the more determined I was to stick with it. As I said some men don't like their woman to lose weight. Some posters on here don't like women to lose weight either!

IDontWantToBeAPie · Today 09:56
@MrsSkylerWhite OK. Your the one taking a thread about a woman's husband not supporting her and turning it into a criticism of her food and saying that ketchup is going to ruin her weight loss... she didn't ask babe”

I repeat, I wasn’t addressing OP, I was replying to another poster. Please don’t call me babe, I don’t know you.

I have no idea why you’re so angry. Perhaps try addressing that rather than swearing at strangers.

Why are you eating leftovers OP? Is that as a snack or are you having leftovers as your main meal? If so I don’t think that’s a very healthy way of going on and your DC may be noticing this. It was wrong of your DH to reprimand you publicly but living with someone with disordered eating can sometimes be very draining, especially if he things DC is picking up on it.