for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

If you regularly eat chips I can understand why he had an issue with you suddenly being strict when his friend was there

He has a point about your diet if your son has issues I never diet openly in front of daughter and every time I step on scales ( not intentionally in front of her ) I make no negative comments and make sure there is no Fatism or fat shaming in the home / TV

Exactly @IDontWantToBeAPie There are some really sanctimonious posters on this thread who think they have the right to tell other women how to eat, what's best for them, what's bad for them, blah blah blah. Bore off. It's got fuck all to do with you what I eat. Keep your vacuous shitty opinions to yourself.

Well the waste was caused by him cooking too many chips, and obviously he shouldn’t have brought up your eating in front of your son…

But I would be really concerned about my partner eating such a restrictive diet, especially if my child had already shown signs of disordered eating.

Surely it was him that wasted food, by cooking too much. You are not a trashcan

Exactly. It's not your job to dispose of all food waste. Someone says they don't want to eat chips for dinner. So what? Your husband was being a jerk by going on about it in front of people. Or at all.

I’m just going to quote this again as it clearly needs to be.

Yes.
And if he does something else with them for a later meal, they wouldn’t even be wasted.
Not her problem to sort

Firstly congratulations on your first month of keto.
Its a learning curve for everyone involved. The Public Health Collaborative is trying to steer the public to a low carb way of eating so do not be put off with posts that it is "wacky" or short term.

As a diabetic, I've been trying to lower blood sugars with this way of eating and currently just become to realise that it's my unhealthy relationship to sugar and high processed foods that is the main cause of my health and am currently treating it as a food addiction.

Now, to the matter in hand. Perhaps your Oh sees you take the leftovers as the reason why he saw the chips as such. He was wrong with saying what he did in front of his friends. Keep on the diet and let him see results.
If leftovers are indeed keto foods, no harm, opt for sauces from the skinny range, low sugar options and full fat but watch those additives, you can make your own too.
Meat is far nicer with sauce or gravy but watch the flour too.

If you aren't already, join a few groups on keto/low carb on Facebook and youtube is full of various Dr's that promote it.
Dr Boz
Dr Mindy Pelz
Dr David Unwin
Dr Jason Fung(excellent intermittent fasting advice)
Dr Michael Moseley
Thomas Deleur the only non physician in my list but has a load of content on keto.
Dr Chattergee
And Dr Robert Lustig.
Obviously Dr Atkins
Too many food companies are making a huge profit making people sick and the last thing coca cola or Big Pharma want is the western world making informative decisions.
My background is NHS so understanding the medical jargon is a little easier.

Good luck and stay strong in your endeavours!

😂Well done!

He is BU, no one should be a human dustbin out of guilt. However ketchup and most mayonnaise have sugar in them. You'll never get into ketosis eating those.

As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

Huge overreaction and inappropriate to have a go in front of your son and his friend (especially if he's trying to protect your son from diet chat).

He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If this is true then it's the bigger issue. You seem to have a disordered approach to eating (I also noticed the "diets" plural) and unless it's been recommended by an actual doctor, very overly rigid. Disordered eating is rife on MN so it's no wonder you have plenty of support in this thread though. I can't get past the poster who declared that "chips will set you back a week" - truly a messed-up thought.

If my partner went through fad diet after fad diet, made a song and dance about what they could and couldn't eat, and fixated on their weight like a lot of MN posters, I would not be able to stand it. Can barely stand it in friends!

Are you coming back @carolnotduffy?

He's the one who made too many chips, so if anyone has been wasteful it's him! I'd rip my husband a new one if he spoke to me like that in front of his friend! Rude fucker!
It's irrelevant what the IP chooses to eat it not eat - her body, her choice. If dh cba to cook what fits her diet, that's fine, so long as he expects no favours from the OP either.

The idea that you cut down on waste by making sure you eat everything is an old tired dad joke. If he is using it as a genuine argument I absolutely despair.
And no he shouldn't be talking about your diet in front of the kids.
Honestly

Did he make the chips from scratch?

Slightly off topic but just a word of warning about keto and very low carb- I've managed to reverse my pre diabetes on low carb really well in 4 months but have given myself borderline low B6 (folate) in the process and now am taking supplements. B12 totally fine as I use the spray daily. Apparently it's quite common with low carb and gluten free (which I am doing) especially in summer as I'm not eating much green leafy veg or beans etc. normal bread and rice and pasta apparently have it added. it's given me very slightly out of kilter red blood cells too.

Not likely.
Not now she’s been compared to a dustbin.
I do think some people have seriously got the wrong end of the stick but it’s entertaining the way they continue in there delusions despite being told it’s in all likelihood just that OP occasionally eats leftovers if keto.

I was wondering when the UPF crew would join the party
(ultra processed food)

No further updates from the OP so not sure why everyone is still commenting tbh.....

Well, I think he was unreasonable to say it the way he did, and in front of your son and his friend, he may have a point on a few counts.

firstly, I agree if he has concerns about the way you diet/act around food etc are impacting on your son- especially in light of the fact your son has expressed concerns about her way he looks/body confidence- then he is right to say something. I think it’s something you need to look at carefully- are you setting a good example? None of us can say, but perhaps something to consider? You certainly need to chat to your husband about However, he was absolutely wrong in the way he brought it up, he should have spoken to you about it privately.

secondly, if you have been someone who moans about others wasting food/criticised your husband and son/other people for wasting food or other things you view as wasteful/not environmentally friendly. then I think it’s reasonable for your husband to say “that’s a bit hypocritical” but that can be done without intending to humiliate you. If hold others to different standards than yourself, it can be annoying to others.

I’d say he might have a point on both fronts, but the way he went about communicating his issues/concerns/annoyance was unreasonable.

Of course you will as long as you stay under the carb limit.

Hellmanns mayo has very little carbs, less than 0.5g per tablespoon, but it has 11g fat, so it's actually great for keto because it's an easy way to get extra fat into the meal.

Heinz full sugar ketchup is 3.5g carbs per tablespoon.
The reduced sugar one is only 1.8g carbs per tbsp so that's great for anyone who can tolerate sweeteners.

@Twiglets1, no that’s not me at all 😂 my thought was that it would be polite to have a few, even just two or three, if the cook had taken the time and made the effort to make them from scratch.

I agree her husband shouldn’t have shamed her in front of their child and his friend, shouldn’t have said those things at all. He showed a lack of class, and a lack of manners and respect toward his wife.

How can you like ketchup but not chips? Please explain.

Oh I see & I agree.
Also, I wouldn’t be able to resist a few homemade chips, and I’m on a diet too (low fat not keto)

It’s not a question of liking chips. She can’t have chips on the keto diet as potatoes are very high carb.