for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

@SweetBirdsong it irritates me no end that people think food is something they can comment on as though it's their business.

Exactly! People need to employ some lateral thinking.

Also, I have a low carb breakfast of eggs, mushrooms, spinach, avocado. A tea spoon of ketchup works for me. Better to have a tiny bit rather than give up low carbing altogether.

Ok then I apologise. But also swearing is not some enormous sin, please chill out.

IDontWantToBeAPie

Thank you, accepted.

I think the food and the ketchup are a red herring. Do you frequently comment about waste? You've possibly lost track of how often you comment. Everyone knows, you don't need to mention it every time.
Your DH responded in a way thats passive aggressive.

It all sounds unhealthy. Would you consider family therapy to re-evaluate the way you all communicate?

You are not serious, are you?

I'm assuming that OP means that she'll eat her own meal, and will accept leftovers if they're compatible with her diet.

Not that she'll only eat leftovers.

My husband does keto, and some days he'd starve because there's no compatible leftovers from, say, risotto, whereas he might willingly take some extra chicken from my stirfry if he could avoid the noodles.

Your husband was a cock to bring this up in front of your child and his friend. So totally in the wrong.

He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image

This is the other big concern if true.

Not a keto diet expert but isn't there loads of sugar/carbs in ketchup 😄

Your DH was being a nasty prick, humiliating you in front of guests. That's just awful. Does he do this kind of thing often? If he had an issue then 100% it needs to be discussed in private.

The DS with body image issues is a separate issue. I personally would be concerned about this. I know almost nothing about what keto is, but even I have heard it can damage your kidneys, or make you feel crap. It seems extreme to me, and I don't think that's a good thing to be doing around a DS with body image issues. It doesn't sound that healthy but that's just my opinion.

Good for you for losing weight, I know when I did it changed my life. Be a bit aware if whether you're talking about it in obsessed way though as I did get a bit one track record about it looking back 😁. Guess that could get people's backs up, as well as doing weird stuff like not eating carbs but shoving mayo and ketchup on leftovers and eating them instead 😎. Maybe that led to the DHs outburst. But not defending him at all he was a bloody asshole speaking to you like that.

You both sounds joyless.

You with your frankly disordered eating and him thinking he is going to save the planet by not wasting a few chips!!!

(I hate waste as much as the next person but chips?? I mean there are much bigger areas of your life you can look at if you truly want to make a difference)

Is keto good for your blood pressure? Asking for a couple of posters.

As a few others have said, it's a bit weird that the OP's husband cooked steaks for him and the children but not for the OP.

I'm hoping the reason for that is that the OP doesn't like steak or something.

Regardless of all that, I think the diet thing is a bit of a red herring. Say the OP wasn't on a diet but just didn't want to eat leftover chips. If her husband is concerned about food waste, he should have cooked the correct quantity of chips. If there were some chips left over, offering them to the OP is fine, but "no thanks" should be accepted without argument. Presumably her husband didn't want to eat the leftover chips either, otherwise he would have done so. Why is it OK for him to not want to eat them, but not OK for the OP to not want to eat them?

If the OP had tried to force her husband to eat every last chip, Bruce Bogtrotter style, to ensure there was no waste, that would be considered abusive by most people.

Not IBS, but I have crohns. I started on a keto diet for the crohns arthritis I developed (rheumatologist approved), and it’s also helped me massively with my guts.

I hope your colonoscopy goes well and you get some answers/improvement in your symptoms soon.

See Hellmans Saucy Sauce it is literally ketchup.And mayo mixed 😂

Adding Mayo is definitely not a healthy choice. Surely you can plan and cook your own food. Then there would be no need for arguments.

"Is ketchup actually keto?" made me 😂. Was it autocarrot? "I'm on a ketchup diet."

So do you not eat an evening meal? Just your husbands leftovers? If so then yes it's a bad example for DS. Diets in general don't need to be made a big deal of in front of kids imo, healthy eating is a good example for kids, going on about carbs and sugar is not

Autocarrot? I see what you did there.

I think she got her nutritional advice from the Mayo Clinic.

It’s your body.

Barring low weight anorexia (which it doesn’t sound like the case) you don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to.

YWBU to say anything other than, "No thanks" in front of your son and his friend.

HWBU to call you out on it in front of your son and his friend.

It's no different than putting mayo on something that has tomatoes on. Heinz so combined sauces. Before horseradish sauce became popular, people must already have been combing mustard, vinegar etc.

The OP has said that she doesn't want to discuss why she's doing keto. There are health conditions that short term keto is recommended, epilepsy being one. Ways of keeping weight down isn't a one size fits all and chips don't have to be part of anyone's diet, so it is sustainable.

In most instances, yes, but I don't think this applies where it sounds like an eating disorder.

Of course we can't diagnose the OP but it is reasonable for lay people to say 'maybe you should go and see your GP?'

And tell your GP what? That you are doing keto although sometimes you eat some mayo and ketchup, and that you don’t like waste so you are happy to eat leftovers as long as they are low carb?

Leftovers with mayo and ketchup… mmmmm tasty!