for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

*body image issues not an eating disorder. Yet. But maybe he was concerned hearing about diets like that would lead to a disorder

You didn't need to make it an issue in front of your DCs and his friends. If your DS struggles with body image then you exhibiting restricted eating and having ott reactions to the suggestion of eating chips, isn't healthy for either of you. (And eating ketchup and mayo points to disordered eating not a 'diet').

I've been on lots of different 'diets'. I don't discuss them or turn them into dramas in front of the DCs. They're so susceptible to messaging about diet and eating habits. It's only been a month. Maybe you need to think about a healthier approach and the messages you're giving your DCs.

Ditch the ketchup and mayo! Full of sugar! misses point of thread

Good for you for resisting the chips! Your husband was being an arse. If someone told me I was ‘misguided’ simply because they didn’t agree with something I was doing I’d be furious.

In front of my kids I would have said no thanks, Im not hungry right now. We have a pretty strict no diet talk around the kids here, I've never discussed diets in front of them other than healthy/everything in moderation type talk. I would never talk about strict restrictions of food in front of them. Your dh was wrong too to push it in front of your ds and his friend.

Why do you eat DH leftovers instead of your own meal? Why did he not cook you any steak?

There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets.

In my first post I said how unacceptable it was for your husband to reprimand you in front of your child, and it was, but it was also totally unnecessary for you to make such a big song and dance about what you would or would not eat.

All you had to say was "No, thank you." No one needed to hear about your "strict" dieting nonsense.

You basically said in front of your DS with body issues "I won't eat that thing you've just eaten because I'm on a diet. So that thing you've just eaten isn't good for you/will make you fat"

You were BU to do that. And your DH was BU to chastise you in front of DC in return

OP didn't mention about not eating due to being 'fat'. OP hasn't disclosed why they are on the diet at all, and it could be due to other health concerns that fear of getting 'fat'.

you and your husband were both wrong for bringing it up in front of your child that has issues with his body image. Ketchup is DEF not keto. Mayo is (only real mayo...not the ones that are more salad dressing. besides the point! stop talking about diets infront of a child that has body issues.. and for gods sake if you do need to show it, at least do it right ( no ketchup on keto!)

by the way. We have a guest staying here right now and he ordered dinner for both my husband and himself ( Offered me but I was quite happy sticking with my own food as I am also on a weight maintenance plan after losing 70 lbs. ) One of the dishes was a big order of large cut fresh chips. So. I have already cut the remaining ones into cubes, mixed them with some diced onions and diced green and red peppers.. put a little seasoning on them. They are in the fridge and tomorrow I will make some omelettes for breakfast and fry them up this potato mix in a little olive oil as homefries. Nothing is bad in moderation.

A lot of people with gout swear at the keto diet.

It's still highly debatable whether a keto diet is a healthier eating habit. It's wacky, short term stuff designed for rapid weight loss but incredibly difficult to do properly and has risks. Far better to change one's lifestyle for good.

Perhaps these men love their wives deeply and don't like crash diets so are finding it difficult to deal with. I'd hate it if my OH tried some wacky diet that I felt was not good for them.

@SamanthaCaine keto (or actually low carb because I'm not strict about the ketosis part) has completely stopped my IBS. No symptoms whatsoever after decades of suffering. It also prevents my migraines. Again almost no symptoms. I feel great. Better than I would eating chips.

I'm not losing vast quantities of weight and I do mostly clean eating so no ketchup and mayo leftovers. Steak, veg and butter type of eating instead. But it's not wacky or crash.

I can't really understand all the people forcing chips on the OP as a healthy choice.

Is DH overweight and incapable/unwilling to change his diet?

I don't even understand how this developed into an argument. He cooked too many chips. His problem. I'm sure they could have been reheated later and eaten. You weren't eating the meal so should have just said you didn't want any, end of discussion. Or did you have a go at him for cooking too many? Also ketchup and mayo are big no no on a keto diet. Pointless doing keto if you aren't religiously strict with it.

Mayo is fine, isn't it? Proper mayo.

The husband is not right in humiliating a family member - in front of another or not.
OP is also bringing a dispute in front of a guest.

Respectful discussion needs to be had acknowledging a right to eat a certain code of diet (vegan, keto) and how they will manage food purchase, cooking and waste and still enjoy sit down meals all together.

The over cooking of chips should be easily overcome with husband and son reheating them for their future meal.
OP should eat food at the table at the same time.
I fail to see what she had planned for herself?

Maybe her family is also upset that she seems not to eat a planned healthy meal and OP needs to state her eating plan and have them understand the keto ingredients of her mayonaise and sauce and her need to cook a specific ingredients alongside theirs and not just eat left overs..

Mayo is fine yes, I should bloody know I eat enough of it when I'm doing keto! But definitely not ketchup or brown sauce. I was lucky in that my dp also does a keto diet when I do. It really does help IBS (me) and gluten intolerance (him). But eating other people's leftovers doesn't sound like a great approach to me either. None of this sounds good when there's someone there with body issues.

Gagging at the thought of reheated chips, throw them in the bin 🤢

I’m on the keto and unless you’re making your own or buying sugar free,mayonnaise and tomato ketchup are off limits. They both have added sugar which will cause blood sugar spikes,the very thing you are avoiding to stabilise blood sugar and suppress appetite.

OP, YADNBU. Your husband is an ass, and revealing his true colors. A petty man child who likes humiliating his wife in front of others.

Side note, I am on low carb too and commercial ketchup is a definite no no. Even a small amount will throw you out of ketosis. So hopefully you are consuming sugar free ketchup.

CW: Discussion about food, diet and body

There is nothing to debate and it's not a "short term wacho". Please do some research before generalizing. Keto works, especially for those with autoimmune disorders. My allopathy doctor recommended me to go low carb to counter my pre-diabetes, it's that accepted now, she and the hospital's nutrition is supervising my diet and the results are amazing. It is often seen as the perfect diet to kickstart a near de@d metabolism.

Most people go into ketosis to regular their metabolism with the huge side benefit of losing weight, learn food discipline (the biggest lesson keto diet teaches you is how to be disciplined with what you eat - this will probably anger foodies (I am a foodie too, believe it or not) we eat far too much, when the human stomach is the size of an orange and does not need all the garbage we are feeding it) and then slowly get back to eating carbs and sugar in moderation.

"Men love their wives deeply" what utter rubbish. Such men don't humiliate the women they love in public.

Keto has stopped my migraine and sinus flareups! I've suffered from these two conditions forever, and it's all gone, like turning off a top. I'm so grateful and a bit annoyed with myself for not doing this sooner (I was told to go low carb years ago but was too addicted to sugar to listen to good advice). I also avoided it for a long time as I was lactose intolerant, but this is where investing in a nutritionist paid off - dairy free keto is def possible and can be delicious too, the key is coconut cream, coconut oil and all the vegan butters (yumm).

I am not losing a lot of weight either (age plus other hormone issues) but my face is visibly thinner. I consider that a huge win 👌

Not everyone who does keto is trying to lose weight. It's a good anti-inflammatory diet and good at reversing insulin resistance. For me, it helps control my IBS and psoriatic arthritis. Eating too many carbs causes horrible flare-ups. A small blob of ketchup wouldn't do any harm, but chips would be a no.

@captainmarvella I just have lactose free milk and butter has almost none anyway.

I just wonder why such a big deal was made out of you not eating them. He could make them into home fries at breakfast.