Hobby every weekend leaving me with step-kids?

[Roundly]

DP has DSS (11) and DSD (13) from a previous relationship. I have DS (8). DP has always played football every other Saturday and always the weekend he did not have his children. This would typically be from 8am to around 4pm, for training and then matches, and often it goes on even longer if there are drinks or socials arranged afterwards. I didn't mind this as it tied in to when my own DS was with his dad, so I would have the day free to do any leisure activities of my choosing.

At the beginning of the year, for various reasons, my stepson and stepdaughter came to live with us full-time. Since then, my DP has slowly started to play football more, and in the last couple of months has played every Saturday. He's just announced that he will be playing football again this Saturday, leaving the care of all 3 children to me.

AIBU to say I'm fed up and don't want responsibility of three DC all Saturday again, and that he needs to go back to EOW? I feel like I'm being a bit rotten as he does work very hard and does a lot for us throughout the weekdays. I wouldn't mind so much if it was just the morning, but it's literally the entirety of Saturday.

I can’t get over how he thinks this is ok

Well he’s basically opted out of caring for his children. It seems you are just there to facilitate his lifestyle. Which at the weekend seems to be that of a single man with no responsibilities,
I feel sorry for all the DC

Sorry no. You don't train the day of a game as an adult. You kick off, play 90minutes perhaps socialise after 4 hours max not 8-4 or later. You are being played.

Do you get every Sunday free while he is with all 3 kids on his own? No? You’re not unreasonable!

Is he having an affair?

I'd be a bit irritated if my OH elected to spend every Saturday doing something all day, irrespective of children.
If his children now live with you both full time, it's not so important that he spends that alternate Saturday with them. I don't think it's unreasonable though that alternate Saturdays you 'look after' them. I mean, he's had your kid around full time for a while. The other Saturday though, he'll have to make his own arrangements as that's your 'day off' when your own kids at their dads. Tbh I'm not sure how much 'looking after' his older kids need. Just make it clear alternate Saturdays is your day off too. You don't need to be 'doing' anything or going 'anywhere special' just be unavailable. The other alternative is your 'me time' starts at Saturday tea time. He gets the day, you get the evening.

I would absolutely not be ok with my husband doing this and our children are all both of ours. Good plan to be out Saturday, he’s taking the piss

I am a bit conflicted with the general tone of a lot of the replies about looking after ‘his’kids. My stepkids came to live with us and we (both dh & I) always viewed it as one big family (I had a ds). To be fair you sound like you think the same its other people who don’t. You sound like a lovely stepmum.
However he us taking the piss playing football every week & opting out of family time so definitely put your foot down there.

@ButterCrackers

I disagree, this issue is between the OP & her partner, it's about his assumption she's default childcare while he buggers off every Saturday.

What childcare he organises is his business, whether it's his ex, his parents or little miss muffet.

it's none of our business why the children's mother doesn't appear to currently be involved in their lives.

He saw you coming, can't help but notice how the Step Mums end up with the worse end of the deal.

Suggest that it's time your DSS takes up the sport along with his Dad. He can go along to every match. (If there is a female team, suggest it for the DSD as well.)

That leaves your DSD only and if she likes to visit a friend then offer to take her to her friend every second week.
That leaves DSD every second week and, at 13, she will appreciate some SM and SD time and is soon going to be responsible enough to do her home work on her own etc.

Your partner is leaving you in charge so make some healthy decisions that are positive for the family.

This is all a terrible idea. 1. It’s not the ops responsibility. 2. It’s especially not her responsibility to decide dsds friends parents get her every second Saturday. 3. So dsd gets scheduled to spend lots of time watching his dad play and at the pub (not great really) but dsd doesn’t get scheduled to spend any time with her dad. 4 all of the above multiplied.

YANBU he’s probably thinking he did well finding a free nanny in you! Don’t let him use you like this.

This is outrageous, I really hope you put your foot down OP. I'd start by making sure I had plans for myself and my own child most Saturdays, so if he wants to play you can just say 'oh, well I'm going out so you'll need to take X and Y with you'.

The biologically mother could be rightly concerned about who is looking after her kids when their dad is away all day and evening. She could complain about this and stop the kids visiting their dad. That’s why it’s important to think about the kids biological mother.

Christ OP, he’s got you well trained hasn’t he? Now you know why the first wife dumped him; probably wanted to carry on a single lifestyle instead of facing parental responsibility

A mother isn’t going to be able to stop her adolescent children living at their dad’s place full time just because their dad is off playing hobbies a lot at the weekend and relying on his partner to provide adult oversight.

Whether she is unable to look after them or they preferred living at Dad’s, her capacity to insist they live with her is extremely limited.

Football does not last all day.

Professional athletes don't have the fitness level to train all day and play matches, let alone Ken from sales .

He and his mates have got together to take the piss and have a lovely day to themselves, which may include a maximum of two hours sport.

You need to put a stop to this absolute bullshit immediately.

"Training and playing football all day " . Absolute brass neck of it.

@ButterCrackers

the kids LIVE with their Dad & the OP.

you're talking nonsense.

Yanbu at all. I expect you’ve answered it, and it’s never, but when does he have all three children for you to do your hobbies?

I assume, OP, that even though you are all living together you don't view yourselves as one blended family? If all the children were yours would it still be a problem? I hope the DSC don't pick up on the issue and feel not part of the family.
I think you should both share the looking after of ALL children at the weekends with both of you giving the other time for their own interests. That's what you would do with no step children involved.

Those poor step kids

YANBUst all. Except for putting up with it for so long already!

Sorry I would be sending the step children to their mums for that day, if he’s not around to mind them it’s totally unfair that you’re expected to do it every Saturday.

What an abhorrent man, honestly these types of men who prioritise hobbies over their family are the pits.