Any awful first date stories to cheer me up?

[SixKeys]

Just back from a terrible first date. Arrived at the restaurant which he chose. Had never heard of it before but it turned out it was a weird food hall place where you had to order on your phone and pay for your food before it arrived. So I ended up getting my food 15 mins before his which was awkward.

When I arrived he gave me a hug which was so tight I could barely breathe. Weird but maybe he didn't realise. Once his food arrived, he ended up getting half of it down his beard which gave me the ick, especially as he didn't remove it and it just sat there looking gross.

He spilled some sauce on his shirt then proceeded to lick it off.

He then declared that he 'knew we'd get on like a house on fire when he first saw my profile' whilst I sat there wishing the time would move faster.

He wanted to order dessert but I said I was full but he proceeded to order anyway so had to sit and watch him finish his. He kept trying to get me to try some even though I told him twice that I couldn't eat ice cream as I don't eat dairy.

He also stuck his finger in his ear probably 3 or 4 times and wiped it on his trouser leg each time.

It was just awful and I wasn't brave enough to leave and tell him it wasn't working out, because he did seem like quite a sweet but very immature man(child).

I'm so tired of first dates....

Anyone else been on a date through OLD where they have been entirely different to how you imagined?

[SixKeys]

To top it off he's just text me to say he had a wonderful time and that he didn't realise two people could gel so well after a first meeting 😩

[SixKeys]

Nobody? 😅

[flyingtherag]

Oh I have one. Internet date. I was clearly taller than he was expecting. I knew as soon as he saw me he didn’t want to be there. Went for a drink with dinner table booked.

after chatting over drinks I said ‘shall we go and eat’. He said ‘shall we not’

fair enough. He went one way I went the other!

[BibbleandSqwauk]

My first OLD ..guy had clearly used a picture a decade old and was considerably bigger and generally greyer than advertised. Sad thing is I wouldn't have minded a pic of the current version but the deception put me right off. He held forth over dinner , very mansplainy etc. Definitely knew that wasn't going anywhere. Another one stood me up over some pet emergency (again would have been fine) but neglected to actually tell me til I texted him asking why he was 45 mins late.
If it helps, I met my now dp OLD and he's awesome.

[tunainatin]

He was so nervous he had a panic attack and had to breathe into a paper bag. I felt awful for him, but it really wasn't a great start 😭

[CLEO42]

I met a blind date at the ticket office at a London train station and we headed off to a bar. He said I bet you are wondering where my cowboy hat is and whilst I was thinking errrr, what's that now he received a text and shouted out You're not Claire! And he ran away out of the pub.

I had to shimmy back to the ticket office where I found my actual blind date. And tbh I should have just gone home after the first bloke

[RuLu]

He asked if I would drop him to the station & if I was into anal!

[dizzyupthegirl86]

My first ever online dating date, I thought we’d clicked and was really hopeful (a lesson learnt)!

I rushed into town from work and waited for this guy. He turned up a) not the 5ft 9 he’d said he was (he was shorter than me, and I’m 5ft 3), with a stammer, and really sweaty because he’d parked about a mile away as he didn’t want to pay for parking.

The stammer wasn’t a dealbreaker, but the whole thing was really awkward as he’d given off these confident vibes, and the reality was very different. He barely looked me in the eye, until the end of the date when he walked me to my bus stop. He started to do ‘the lean’ until I was like ‘oh here’s my bus, was nice to meet you’ and hopped on the bus that had just turned up but was definitely not the bus I needed.

[dizzyupthegirl86]

Oh and I’ve just remembered another one! Met for coffee, and he mentioned he was coming straight from work - as was I. We both worked in office jobs, for reference. I got changed at work, put a little make up on, etc. He turned up and looked like a tramp, and smelt really badly of BO. Sweat patches under his arms, everything sort of hanging off him, just really shabby. I politely finished my coffee whilst trying not to breathe through my nose, and then when he asked me to drop him home, I had to pretend I had a car full of stuff so had no room. He very clearly did not believe me.

[JorisBonson]

I once took a guy to a really fun, stupid karaoke bar and he was gone when I got back from singing 🙂

[Sunnyfeelgood]

I was on a date with a guy who asked me about my dog. I responded and he proceeded to tell me a lot about his cat and then started crying. It came to light the cat had died, I was very sympathetic as I love animals, although crying on a first date isn't a vibe. It then came to light the cat died over 20 years ago! Very strange.

I went for drinks with someone else and at the end when I made noises about going home. He looked shocked and said 'what about the post date walk?' I looked at him confused, this has not been pre agreed. He said everyone does a post date walk and that I was out of order if I expected him to do the walk alone. It was weird, he seemed pretty normal up until that point.

[Truestorypeeps]

Went for first date drinks with a girl, not food. At the start of the date I started guessing why she'd said no to food (for some reason?!)... All my guesses were wrong including that she'd had dinner earlier on. Obviously after 3 wrong guesses she'd had enough and said, No, I'm just recovering from bullemia.

[backseatwatching]

yes one and it was awful i met a man online got to know him for a few months his ex left him as she wanted more in life things looking good it was all going so well untill we sleep together size dose matter he was the same size as a chap stick no joke i mean full on erection i dident think any one could be that small and not a clue what he was doing it was like someone laying on me just rubbing there body up and down if i had faked any more i would have won an oscar he fell a sleep i left the hotel . i blocked and moved on i soon saw what his ex meant wanting more .

[NerdyBird]

Had a date with a bloke, just drinks in a bar. Was ok but didn't really feel a spark. Then he outright asked me if I was going to have sex with him. I said no, we've literally just met. Then he said he had an early start in the morning and left! Presumably to find someone else to shag.

Another date was annoyed that I wasn't interested - he'd organised tickets to a popular musical (at a discount, he worked in theatre) and thought I ought to be super impressed. He updated his profile with a snarky comment about me afterwards! Not by name thankfully so I just blocked him.

[OrigamiOwls]

They guy who turned up hungover, told me at length about his ex-wife and then had the balls to tell me he wasn't interested in me!

[AnneLovesGilbert]

He got blind drunk then cried while telling me his dad had cheated on his mum then fell asleep.

[Bluekangaroo123]

First ever online date the guy sulked for a few minutes because I ordered half a pint. When I pressed him on why he wasn’t talking to me he then admitted that he thought I only wanted a half pint as I didn’t like the look of him. I’m just not a big drinker! The crazy thing is that after we got over that awkwardness he then told me he had pre-booked a taxi to leave to watch the footy with his friends! So he left after about an hour anyway. Unbelievable!

[Rainpigeon]

Went for drinks with a French guy, seemed OK, good bit of friendly chatting.... And then he told me he'd fucked his mum! I tried to change the subject (!) but he came back to it a with more details... I made an exit out the side door.

[ponderingsoul]

Told me I’d be really attractive if I lost weight. I was a size 12.

[Bluekangaroo123]

What’s even sadder & mind boggling to me is that I agreed to a 2nd date with him! and on the second date he didn’t bring his wallet but just a small amount of cash. He said his mum was making dinner so he didn’t want to eat out. I’m not making this up! Suffice to say there was no third date!

[TheoTheopolis23]

@Rainpigeon

Went for drinks with a French guy, seemed OK, good bit of friendly chatting.... And then he told me he'd fucked his mum! I tried to change the subject (!) but he came back to it a with more details... I made an exit out the side door.

😮

[AnneLovesGilbert]

My friend met a guy off tinder who kept looking over her shoulder then confessed he’d recently escaped from a cult and was worried he’d be spotted by bad people. She said she was going to the loo and scarpered. He was probably just married but on the off chance you don’t fuck around with cultists.

[IHateLegDay]

Omg he sounds like the worst!!
I had one god awful date in my 20s. I met the guy on POF and we met at a restaurant.
He spent the entire time talking about himself and politics and just talked AT me. I think I said maybe two things the whole time.
After the meal, he paid which was sweet of him (I did offer to pay for myself) and as I smoked at the time, as we left, I lit up a cigarette and we started walking.
He asked me for one and I said "oh, I thought you didn't smoke?" And in a really aggressive, snotty tone he replied "well I did just pay for your dinner didn't I so you can give me one".
I gave him a cigarette and told him I wasn't feeling well so went home.
When I got back, I got a text off him saying it was the best date he'd ever been on and would love to see me again

I said no.

[TheoTheopolis23]

Went on an old date - he told me my photos didn't do justice to me - nice compliment. Unfortunately his photo was 10 or more years old, and he had hundreds of yellow milia, which for whatever reason he'd not had removed, all over his upper face.

Nonetheless I tried to be civil and pleasant and had a drink and a coffee on the way back with him. During which he told me about a young man he was helping with his degree projects (his profession) but he spoke about the young man in such a excited, bashful, weird way, it's really hard to describe. Then he started telling me about how they'd exchange affectionate messages, every time he helped him, and described some of them; they were flirty and like how partners or wannabe partners would speak to each other. My gaydar started pinging.

The next day I forgot my phone in the morning a d by the time I came back I'd had numerous messages, followed by one saying he presumed I wasn't interested in him then. I explained about the phone but tried to politely say I thought we'd be best as friends if he was remotely up for that.

[Thebigblueballoon]

It was a last date rather than a first date. I’d been seeing this guy for a few weeks. Wasn’t feeling it, so I invited him to the pub to gently break it off with him. He was not happy and proceeded to get rat-arse drunk - so much so that I had to bundle him in a taxi and take him to my flat to sober up.
Managed to get him on the sofa with a sleeping bag, at which point he slurred at me that he needed to use the toilet. He stumbled his way to the bathroom, slammed the door… only for there to be an almighty clatter 30 seconds later. He’d fallen over and put his head through my bathroom window.