Any awful first date stories to cheer me up?

[SixKeys]

Just back from a terrible first date. Arrived at the restaurant which he chose. Had never heard of it before but it turned out it was a weird food hall place where you had to order on your phone and pay for your food before it arrived. So I ended up getting my food 15 mins before his which was awkward.

When I arrived he gave me a hug which was so tight I could barely breathe. Weird but maybe he didn't realise. Once his food arrived, he ended up getting half of it down his beard which gave me the ick, especially as he didn't remove it and it just sat there looking gross.

He spilled some sauce on his shirt then proceeded to lick it off.

He then declared that he 'knew we'd get on like a house on fire when he first saw my profile' whilst I sat there wishing the time would move faster.

He wanted to order dessert but I said I was full but he proceeded to order anyway so had to sit and watch him finish his. He kept trying to get me to try some even though I told him twice that I couldn't eat ice cream as I don't eat dairy.

He also stuck his finger in his ear probably 3 or 4 times and wiped it on his trouser leg each time.

It was just awful and I wasn't brave enough to leave and tell him it wasn't working out, because he did seem like quite a sweet but very immature man(child).

I'm so tired of first dates....

Anyone else been on a date through OLD where they have been entirely different to how you imagined?

This is not my experience but a friend, who was widowed too young, joined a dating site for people in similar circumstances. She is smart and attractive and looks, and is, comfortably off.
Her first date turned up, clearly about 20 years older than he had claimed, (in his 80s, not 60s) straggly white hair and beard, wearing a very dirty yellow high-vis jacket, rough trainers and bicycle clips. She was surprised when he approached her because she thought he was a street person. Over coffee he proceeded to bore tell her at length about the multi million pound deal he had just concluded.
He got very offended when she was not as effusive about it as he would have liked, but he still wanted to see her again.
Another turned up late and flustered after looking for a free car park as he hated to pay for parking. Friend showed him where he could park for free, they went to a nice place for coffee where he announced she would have to pay as he didn't have enough money. She said fine, perhaps he could leave a tip for the waitress. He refused so she put some coins on the table as they were leaving only to see him scoop them up and pocket them behind her back. Another second date refused.
I have to wonder reading some of the posts here -- do such men have no idea at all of how they come across? Baffling.

Another one from me….

Had been chatting to this guy for a few days, and he’d mentioned a few times that he played tennis. I like a man who keeps himself fit, so that was a positive ✔️ . His profile claimed 5’7”, so as I prefer men taller than me (I’m a mere 5’2”), still ok at this point ✔️.

So we arranged to meet for a Sunday afternoon walk around a lake, a lovely summers day, lots of people about.

I was at the rendezvous point (the car park) a little early, so was already there as he arrived - I knew what type of car to look out for. He parked up about 50 yards away, on the other side of an already parked car. As he got out of his car , I could see his head, and recognised him from his photo. Obviously had used current pics on the site ✔️.

But then he emerged from between the cars….wearing bright white, very tight, SHORT, tennis shorts! And he had clearly exaggerated his height as he looked like a school boy (this is s man in his 50s BTW) 🤦🏻‍♀️

I wrestled with my facial expressions to present a bright smile, as his little legs twinkled across the car park towards me. And on arrival it was clear that our eyes were on the same meagre 5’2” level!!

So off we went on our walk, with oncoming normally dressed walkers very obviously looking at his legs, his face, then at me - kill me now😬

At the end of the tortuously long walk, we sat down at the little cafe in the car park, whilst he appraised other men’s more conventional style of shorts, making it known loud and clear that shorts are called ‘shorts’ because they’re supposed to be…short 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I still thank myself his sport hadn’t been swimming - it could have been worse - he could have turned up in speedos 😱

showed me pictures of him in a full panda suit

I bet he did! 😮

Such a nonchalant ask, naively didn’t realise it was a date and wasn’t interested in dating them, just checking out the place they mentioned.

They looked very disappointed as I had made zero effort to dress for a date and it was very awkward. Cut it short and went home after an hour.

Met in a local pub. He was a lot older than he had stated and very ,very obese. That wasn't the problem. He was wearing a formal.dinner jacket with satin lapels over a rock band tee shirt. He was not very clean. He told me at length how wealthy he was and proceeded to show me his "magic tricks He annoyed the bar staff by making objects "appear" from their ears and chests. I went to the bar next time( thought it best) and a crowd of men came in . One told me that they had just come from a wake and I listened politely . My " date" informed me that I was not supposed to speak to other people when I was with him! I gathered up my belongings ready to leave and he told me that I wasn't as pretty as he would have liked and he didn't like blondes anyway but he was willing to see me again. He told me that he had brought flowers but they were in his car ,and he wasn't going to give them to me( presumably because I'm not pretty enough,!) As we walked to my car he laughed at it and said that it was old!

.

God! I think I've shared this before on here - but the chap is probably amazing compared to some.....

I was early thirties and single after a break up. This is the 90s so not OLD - my friend's mother said her neighbour was a lovely chap and we should meet up. Anyway - I don't recall being that keen because my preferred meeting of choice has always been F2F - but I didn't want to offend her, and you never know.

So I meet this guy - I think we just met at a pub. Sadly he was really ugly and scrawny and not my type - but hey ho, if you get on great then you can see things differently. But no - he was dull, and also incredibly hung up on his ex girlfriend, just spent the whole evening moaning about how she had led him on and then dumped him.

At the end of the evening he said he'd love to see me again!! I'm so pathetic (and conscious of my friend's mum) that I was worried about saying no in case he thought it was because he was so ugly. So I agreed...... I thought dumping after two dates makes it clear it wasn't just about looks?

Next 'date' he picked me up as he was clearly harmless. we had drinks somewhere and he was just as grim, but I knew I had done my duty so all was OK. BUT - when he drove me home, I realised I didn't have a door key to my house! So I had to ask him to take me to my friend's house a few miles away to collect a spare. He kept saying 'Ho ho ho, you're the designated entertainment manager in this relationship aren't you, ha ha......' ! Honestly so cringey! If I hadn't had the ick from the first moment, I seriously would have got it then........

Actually, I feel a bit mean typing all this. If he hadn't been so bitter and moaning about his ex I wouldn't wish to judge him on his looks or his boringness, but he was seriously awful. (And even if his ex had been a nightmare, why share all the gory details with a new date? It's never going to be attractive.....)

🤣

I don’t even care if this isn’t what happened, thanks for the laugh!