Any awful first date stories to cheer me up?

[SixKeys]

Just back from a terrible first date. Arrived at the restaurant which he chose. Had never heard of it before but it turned out it was a weird food hall place where you had to order on your phone and pay for your food before it arrived. So I ended up getting my food 15 mins before his which was awkward.

When I arrived he gave me a hug which was so tight I could barely breathe. Weird but maybe he didn't realise. Once his food arrived, he ended up getting half of it down his beard which gave me the ick, especially as he didn't remove it and it just sat there looking gross.

He spilled some sauce on his shirt then proceeded to lick it off.

He then declared that he 'knew we'd get on like a house on fire when he first saw my profile' whilst I sat there wishing the time would move faster.

He wanted to order dessert but I said I was full but he proceeded to order anyway so had to sit and watch him finish his. He kept trying to get me to try some even though I told him twice that I couldn't eat ice cream as I don't eat dairy.

He also stuck his finger in his ear probably 3 or 4 times and wiped it on his trouser leg each time.

It was just awful and I wasn't brave enough to leave and tell him it wasn't working out, because he did seem like quite a sweet but very immature man(child).

I'm so tired of first dates....

Anyone else been on a date through OLD where they have been entirely different to how you imagined?

Small northern town, late '70's, I was sixteen & so was my date. It was a boy I met at work, had fancied him for weeks, we had a date where he took me to a disco, had a great time and knew other people there including my second cousin. Then he took me to his home & introduced me to his parents and siblings, which I thought was unusual for a first date. At the end of the evening he walked me home (very gallant) and told me he loved me ! What?!
He then arranged to meet me and take me to his home for Sunday dinner with his family a few days later ( this sounds so dated now) and called at my house without his shirt on ! I was disgusted, really had the ick, walked through a local park with him and my conversation was becoming more and more icy, until I just said "okay I've had enough, I'm going home now", turned on my heel and left the poor boy baffled at what he had/hadn't done. Then blanked him at work the next day. I am truly ashamed of my adolescent behaviour now, but if only he had worn a t shirt that day, I would not have been such a teenage prude.

Oh no! He just turned up topless?? Bless him. It was probably terrible advice from friends or a magazine. Were there teenage boys magazines?

No, there were no teen boy magazines in the 70's. Certainly not any equivalent of teen girl magazines.

The food in beard and ear picking are gross the rest seemed fine. But no I wouldn't go out again with that guy.

When I was in my twenties I was very drunk and saw a gorgeous guy behind the bar in a pub. We chatted a bit and had mutual Friends so through them arranged a date. Firstly I found him less attractive sober, but he was also painstakingly shy. The date lasted about two hours of me trying to think of thinks to say with him giving short answers. There was a lot of silence after two hours I gave up and said I was going home . Probably a nice person but I am not a chatty person so need more that one word answers.

Thanks to FB memories I know it’s two years today since my last date! Wasn’t awful, we had a nice enough time but alarm bells went off when he casually mentioned that his hair had grown “quite a bit” since his photos and sure enough he turned up and was about five years and five stone heavier. I’m not against bigger guys at all and in fact I’m quite big myself but it totally changed his look. It was definitely the same guy but if you’d not seen him in a few years I don’t think you’d recognise him if you walked past him! He also had some kind of skin condition with patches of dry skin all over his hands and elbows and it’s not his fault obviously but it did gross me out - all I could think was that I wouldn’t want his hands on my body which is sort of a vital aspect of having a relationship for most people.

Dinner went well and he paid and we got on OK but def not for me. Not just that his looks didn’t do it for me generally, like someone has said up thread it’s the deception of it too, really put me off. It’s not a good foot to start on.

At the end of the date I quick hopped out his car before he could try to kiss me. If I’d wanted a second date I’d have then sent a quick text saying thank you for a lovely evening and gotten the convo going again but as I didn’t want a second date I waited for him to text me so I could politely decline as I really felt like he fancied me and thought it had gone well - not to be vain as generally I’m not someone who ever thinks people fancy me but that was the vibe I got.

And I dunno if he was waiting for me to text first but he never texted me! And after a while I felt rude for not saying thank you but also it felt really awkward and I didn’t especially want to start up a convo again so just…didn’t say anything and eventually he unmatched!

im not on tinder now but up until about last summer id still see him pop up occasionally, still using those ancient photos. I matched with one of his friends who said “oh you went out with my mate” and said his name so I know he told people about me but I have no idea what he said and then his mate unmatched because I didn’t want to get stoned and have sex, so I’ll probably never find out if what he said was good or bad

Agreed to a date with a guy I knew vaguely from around town.
He walked me to his house, where I was put to sit between his Mother and him on a 3 seater sofa (no escape and no fidgeting!) where we ‘watched’ The Professionals (I kept my eyes shut a lot, too violent for 17yr old me) then I was walked back home an hour later when the programme finished!😮
His Dad worked away so he had to keep his Mum company apparently… Very odd.

Met a guy through a dating app who was love bombing me before we met for the first time - then the look of disappointment on his face when I walked into the pub was unmistakable (they weren’t old photos, honest) and when I came back from the loo I could see over his shoulder that he was checking the messages from the dating app…

Have been laughing my head off at some of these stories.

Mines not as good as some of the others.

First bad one .. I was about 15 and a boy who was 19 asked me out on a date. We used to chat on MSN messenger! He picked me up in his car and we went to a cinema. I remember the actual date going fine but on the way home he said to me I’m going to stop every red light and snog your face off. It gave me the massive ick but I was too soft to say no so I went along with it and they were horrible sloppy kisses and I remember a junction coming up where he purposely slowed down as they were double lights. After I got home I just completely blanked his messages.

My second bad date is I had been out in town I was about 20 and was drunk and met a guy, got his number and he arranged a date for the week after. I remember being impressed as he was training to be a doctor and in my drunk state I thought he was attractive. He lived in a city about 40 min train ride away. I remember seeing him and thinking wow I must of been wearing my beer goggles as I just wasn’t attracted to him at all. We went to the first bar and he said I’m a medical student and I’m poor so can you buy the food. I have no issues with it but it’s the way it was said he gave me the ick even more. And then spent ages talking about himself. I got there about 7pm and my last train home was 1030. Oh how I wished I went home sooner. I got to the train station for the last train and I was at the wrong station on the other side of the city. I rang so many people to pick me up but it was a bank holiday weekend and they were busy. A black cab told me he would take me home for £80 and that was literally what I had left after the expensive drinks and meal in the city. I went home unimpressed and we didn’t really talk much that week. The weekend came and I went out with a friend. I bumped into him and he was trying it on and I just said sorry I didn’t enjoy our date blah blah. Later in the night I met a new guy and Dr guy was following us round the club telling now DP I was a slag cos I dated him last week and led him on. He was glaring at us all night and just sat staring!! Luckily he wasn’t bothered as we have now been together over 8 years and have a DS 😂

I met someone on an app this week, we really got on and he made me laugh so we swapped numbers. Literally then started asking me if I would video myself having a pee every time I went to the toilet and send to him, ffs blocked straight away and come off the sites, full of oddballs online 🤣

Many will find it hard to believe, but this IS a true story
Some time in the '70s I went to visit a friend in an East European country.
I ended up through a friend of a friend of this friend on a blind date with a nurse.
We met in the early evening in the town centre on a cold winter night. Couldn't miss each other as there was no one else around.
First thing she asked me was "Where should we go?"
Not knowing the town well I replied "Wherever you like"
To that she exploded in a ranting fit, lecturing me that "you're the male, you have to take the initiative".
Before I had a chance to recover from my surprise, she turned on her heel and indignantly stomped away.
My shortest date ever - blind or otherwise.
I learned few years later that she married her boss.

@DaSilvaP

That doesn't surprise me. Every Eastern European lady I've known has been very blunt in their actions and speech 🤣

Had couple of awful dates , 1st had teeth ( had seen pic but not showing full extent of quite how bad they were) we went to a cafe and way he ate just eating a scone omg 😫🤢 no more dates with him. The other the bloke had been on a night shift , arranged to meet at a pub, he drove past to go to another that he decided was the one I said and already late , it was lunchtime and he wouldn't order food because he hadn't had his breakfast ( seriously) 🙄🤔 even though there were still breakfast options, so I ended up not ordering anything either.
They say men are from Mars , these 2 I think were from another planet in another solar system, along with all the others on this thread lol

Met this guy on a dating site, lots of chats so decided to meet in person. Went out for a meal in a carvery pub. I hardly ate as was sooo looking forward to a lovely meal....and no washing up!!! He ordered a bloody salad,!!! He had already eaten before we met as he had a strict diet plan!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I ordered the roast dinner 🤣🤣🤣🤣 the evening was very stilted, hardly any conversation. I left as soon as I could 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Met this guy on a dating site, lots of chats so decided to meet in person. Met at a pub that did carvery roast dinner. I hardly ate all day as I was soooo looking forward to a lovely meal. He ordered a salad!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I ordered a roast dinner 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Arranged a first date for weds. On Monday he called and spoke to me for 3 hours about everything and anything inc the fact her had been married previously and had 2 daughters. It was fun conversation.

He picked me up in his Lada - I knew he gad one as I ribbed him that it'd be white and it was 🤣🤣🤣

He asked me to hold his pint whilst he sorted his shoe and took the opportunity to kiss me whilst my hands were full. I thought that was a bit cheeky, but it made me laugh. He made me laugh.

We ordered our food. They brought him the wrong meal so it was returned. He said eat yours whilst it's hot. We chatted whilst I ate. 15mins later, the waiter came over and apologised that the chef had thrown his dinner over himself when plating it so it'd be another 15mins or so. He laughed it off and said no worries. I'd finished my food by the time his arrived. The manager offered us free desserts, we declined, she offered us a free drink, he said I've just ordered more drinks, so she took them off the bill.

It was a terrible first date but I married him 15m later because he never lost his stride or temper with all the stuff that went wrong.

He was my rock throughout our marriage. He died in 2016 - our kids were 12 and 13 at the time. We all miss him terribly.

Went on a date that had been set up by a mutual friend. She just "knew" we'd get on.
He turned up looking disinterested, barely spoke, gave one word answers, it all fell so flat and I remember thinking how could the mutual friend have got it so wrong.I nearly left after the dinner but decided I'd go to the pub with him as it was on my way home.
He had a few drinks and started to relax and it was as if a light switched on, he was hilarious, attentive and so confident. We got on fabulously and have been married 28years.
He always maintains he was just dazed by my awesome presence and needed that drink for strength! Funny thing is, he hardly touches alcohol.

Dibbydoo's Aww he sounds amazing.

My DD went on a date and the guy who turned up was tiny and very slightly built. When her date went to the toilet, a huge handsome bloke who was out with his male friends at a nearby table came over to her and sat in her dates chair. He then proceeded to tell her that she could do much better than her date and should go out with him instead.
DD told him that although he was indeed very handsome and very funny, she would never date him as she would never be able to trust him and would have to keep him locked in the house.

Told before, on being asked if he'd ever been arrested/in trouble with the law (first date, OLD) he said he had, once.
Proceeded to tell me on a previous date they'd ended up in a nightclub where the woman collapsed. Turned out she'd been spiked.
What he said next chilled me to the bone.
'But they couldn't prove it was me' 😱
At no point did he say he hadn't done it.
Off like a rocket, in a taxi home, blocked him!! 🚫

I have a few mad ones. One guy I met seemed really nice … and handsome. So I agreed to go for a drink with him. He just didn’t talks to me! Completely monosyllabic, one word answers. No effort at conversation at all! I said a couple of times … are you always this quiet? After an hour, I popped out for some cigarettes and didn’t go back. One guy a went on a date with told me that I’d actually met his room mate the week before and he’d really liked me … he was just dating me to piss him off 😂 Another guy met me for coffee and then proceeded to ‘tell’ me what we’d be doing for the rest of the day … and night. The date ended at the coffee shop … I should say these were all in NY in the 00s. I have so many more! Dating was a sport back then 😂

I had a friend when I was about 20 who used to arrange to meet me and then would show up with a date and a spare chap for me. Once it was the guy several years older who spent the first hour complaining about what a bitch his ex was which was such a disappointment as his family had gone so far as hiring her to work in the family business. And they ran a funeral home as they were all morticians. At which point he was getting a bit sexy and asked if I wanted to go for a late night tour of the business, mentioned that they had a "prep" area in the basement and starting saying he was sure I'd love the feel of laying on the cold marble prep table. I declined the offer.

A very common occurrence! 😂😂

I went on a first online date, all was going well, he picked me up and we went to a nice bar, until I made a comment about how I don’t kiss on a first date, and definitely nothing further. So he said ‘I’m off then’ and walked out, leaving me stranded 20 minutes drive from home. But luckily!! He had put his credit card behind the bar as a tab and forgot to take it in his rush to leave. I hope he enjoyed his walk of shame back to the bar the next day and the surprise bottle of champagne I ordered on his tab.

I persevered with OLD for about 18 months. Gave up in the end as I fear the pickings are slim in the county I live in.

however, I have some tales….here’s one…

Was feeling a little nonplussed after a few tentative arrangements to meet various men had not panned out - with overly elaborate excuses which sounded like thinly veiled code for ‘have found a better offer’ (which is fair enough, these things happen when they have several irons in the fire) 🙄

So, had been chatting to this guy over WhatsApp for a few days and we had arranged to meet in person for a lunchtime coffee. Early on the morning of said first date, I got a message from him saying he’d been in hospital all night with a stomach upset, so would need to cancel.

Much eye-rolling by me, and I screen shotted the message and sent to my friend with a sarcastic comment along the lines of ‘Oh here we go again - I’m calling BS!’.

Except I mistakenly sent the message to HIM, and he immediately replied with a photo of himself very clearly in a hospital bed and attached to a drip, accompanied by the words ’Well that’s a bit harsh’.😱

Of course I was mortified, apologised profusely, and felt so bad we did indeed go on to meet. But pleasant enough chap as he was, he had colossal ‘baggage’ including former class A drug addiction and financial ruin linked to working in banking during the crash - and non of his adult children or family now spoke to him anymore (perhaps because he borrowed/stole money to fund his habit after the high flying job was no more).

So here he was, in his mid-50s, renting a spare bedroom in a young couple’s house, and with nothing but a £500 old banger car to his name. I did feel sorry for him, but…nope😔

2011 and one of my first ever online dates - we met in London in Trafalgar Square for a day of sightseeing. He told me he likes to dress up as a Panda for fun (showed me
pictures of him in a full panda suit) and also had a Cookie Monster suit. 🤣 I saw the rest of the date out begging time to go faster then never spoke to him again haha.