BIL losing temper whilst staying for weekend

[Theeora]

My sister has recently become engaged to a man I just don't like. I'll be honest.

I live with my parents as I am trying to get on the property ladder this summer. They live remotely in a nice but compact cottage.

This morning they were planning on going for a long walk but my sister asked to adjust plans for very warm weather which dog may not tolerate.

On the drive way I overheard them arguing, BIL said something to the effect of "well, I think the dog is underwalked". My sister told him "how dare you, say it again if you really believe that". BIL did. Ended up with him storming off to their bedroom and SLAMMING the door.

Just to note, our 7 yo is the best looked after dog in the UK. The lengths we go to to look after him are both ridiculous and indulgant. Sure, when BIL is here for the odd weekend the family dog gets walked at random times but never fails to get 2 walks (on top of everything else). BIL and sister often include the dog in walks so the rest of us just work the dog's schedule around that. Dog is also getting on in age so can't walk 10 miles consecutively. Needs to rest after strenuous activity. How dare he imply I'm basically abusing my beloved dog. We live in the Lake District.

Did he act inappropriately re door slamming. I was in kitchen making cookies for the pair and didn't know where to look. Reminds me of a traumatic childhood,lots of arguing between parents (mum and dad have mellowed with age).

Added to the list of red flags

I think it’s an argument between them and not a big deal really? Couples argue! Arguing over a dog walk will probably blow over before long

His comment was fine. He wasn’t implying you were abusing it at all, you’re overreacting because your parents didn’t demonstrate a healthy relationship and you don’t like your BIL.

Also if you are indulging your dog, you are not appropriately looking after it.

I don't know - they were having an argument and he took himself away from the situation. Maybe he didn't realise the door would slam. It's easy to misjudge in a house you're not in all the time.

It seems like your bigger issue is his comment about the dog but if he doesn't see the dog being regularly walked when he's there, because you account for the extra walks, I can understand why he might not see the normal routine.

Sounds like you’re overreacting to be honest , I get it made you a bit uncomfortable - I’m same due to past relationships but it sounds like a minor thing and I’m sure the door isn’t hurt

Dog regularly gets complimented on manners by complete strangers. Gets 2 walks without fail everyday.

Multiple trainers have said they "would have him" given the chance. He attends weekly sniffing classes for fun/bonding.

Indulgant in that I regularly bake him treats etc- not much to do where we live other than walk and bake.

Okay fair enough

Going against the grain, I think an adult shouting and slamming doors in someone else's house is out of order. Your Dsis must be so embarrassed. I wouldn't tolerate it in my home from my teen let alone another adult who should be able to control their anger.

I would wonder about their relationship if they argue about such trivial stuff. The dog is none of his business anyway, so why would he get arsey about that? It’s all a bit odd really. And to slam a door in someone else’s house where you area guest is plain rude.

Sounds like your sister stood up for herself (and you, and your dog...) and he didn't like it. Nothing to be worried about, the issue will sort itself out. She's got a good head on her shoulders. He just looks like a dick for slamming doors in a house that isn't his.

You are very over invested. That's a normal couples row.

You seem over invested in the dog’s life and your sister’s marriage. You need to get out more.

I voted yanbu because a man raising his voice and slamming a door is a big no no for me.

But your sister seriously escalated a mild disagreement into a big row! He commented on the family dog and she blew up in his face.

I'm not a dog person and yeah, I sometimes comment about how smelly my in-laws' dogs are (they really really pong) and how they do the smelliest farts when they're fed human desserts. It's just true and no one blows up at me for it.

Your dog may well be fat from the "baked treats" you make for him. Saying he's underwalked is pretty mild as criticisms go.

You seem over invested in the dog’s life

Very true. Maybe this is a bad time to admit I am testing a couple of recipes for the dog's birthday.

Saving up so I can buy in London. Living a very quiet/boring life, can't deny it.

Laughing at all these people critising my dog raising skills. He is bang on his ideal weight and perfectly looked after.

I think his comment was a bit uncalled for, your sisters reply was ridiculous and he shouldn't have slammed a door - but if that's the peak of his frustrations then that's pretty mild imo.

Your last comment about your parents + not like him anyway seems to be clouding this tbh.

YANBU

Suprised by the comments actually.
MN is filled with dog-haters, perhaps they all found this thread and are being biased.
Man having a angry burst because of so trivial and banging doors is pathetic, but also horrible behaviour.
And as we often see, many here are in terrible relationships, so maybe that’s why they see this as nothing…

Ps: I’m sure your dog is well taken care off and loved ☺️

Slamming doors is very teenage tantrum and extremely embarrassing in someone else’s house. He should not comment on how the dog is treated unless there’s obvious abuse.

No it’s not. Especially not slamming doors in other people’s houses.

MYOB.

MYOB

He kinda made it OP's business by having a tantrum in her home.

I could never be with someone who would act like that.

Would also be very ashamed of my brother if I found out that he had done this at his gf's family home.

Am I the only one who’s confused?

A couple argued over a dog that isn’t theirs and the frequency of its walks?

Why on earth would either of them give a shit?

I don’t think door slamming is the same as losing your temper.

And if it really is that you and your sister sound like a pair of drama llamas. A barely heard conversation makes you think you’re being accused of animal abuse. Your sister challenges her fiancé to repeat an innocuous and inoffensive statement about someone else’s spoilt pet?

You all need to grow up

I wouldn’t be impressed if my dh behaved like this in my parents house - and quite frankly he wouldn’t dream of being so rude. I would not be impressed in my house either.

It seems their relationship or the stay with your parents is putting them under a lot of strain. I would consider pretending you haven’t heard anything and stay out of it. Your sister won’t thank you for it. If you are close - check in with her gently when you are alone.

Dog regularly gets complimented on manners by complete strangers

😂😂

Does he say “thank you very much, ever so kind” when people let him past?