BIL losing temper whilst staying for weekend

[Theeora]

My sister has recently become engaged to a man I just don't like. I'll be honest.

I live with my parents as I am trying to get on the property ladder this summer. They live remotely in a nice but compact cottage.

This morning they were planning on going for a long walk but my sister asked to adjust plans for very warm weather which dog may not tolerate.

On the drive way I overheard them arguing, BIL said something to the effect of "well, I think the dog is underwalked". My sister told him "how dare you, say it again if you really believe that". BIL did. Ended up with him storming off to their bedroom and SLAMMING the door.

Just to note, our 7 yo is the best looked after dog in the UK. The lengths we go to to look after him are both ridiculous and indulgant. Sure, when BIL is here for the odd weekend the family dog gets walked at random times but never fails to get 2 walks (on top of everything else). BIL and sister often include the dog in walks so the rest of us just work the dog's schedule around that. Dog is also getting on in age so can't walk 10 miles consecutively. Needs to rest after strenuous activity. How dare he imply I'm basically abusing my beloved dog. We live in the Lake District.

Did he act inappropriately re door slamming. I was in kitchen making cookies for the pair and didn't know where to look. Reminds me of a traumatic childhood,lots of arguing between parents (mum and dad have mellowed with age).

Added to the list of red flags

I think the argument is just abit trivial to be posting on mumsnet for. I think your looking for the slightest thing to warrant you not liking him. I would stay out of it, will probably blow over

It's odd because my parents are very easy going now. My dad *owned his own business) was not able to hack the pressure of providing for a family of five.

OP, he probably doesn’t care all that much about the dog or consider it his responsibility. Which is not the same thing as being cruel or uncaring towards animals. He just wants to go for a particular walk and is just pissed off that his choices are being shut down because of his partner’s parents’ (or sister’s?) pet. So he’s not actually insulting your dog care. It’s the opposite. He wants to walk a particular route and lashed out because he doesn’t see why it should be completely off the table just because there’s a dog in the wider family to take into account.
Maybe don’t use him as a dog sitter, but you can’t base your assessment of him as a person entirely on this one argument.

How on Earth can you afford a 3 bed in Camden on your own?!

I wouldn’t like someone slamming a door in my house. It’s aggressive and uncouth. Would you slam a door in someone else’s house?

I don’t get why he’s bothered about your dogs walking schedule, what’s it got to do with him?

is it to test if something is bake-able

Exactly this, want to make sure the carbonara sauce is not too sloppy for the pastry base and holds. Just an excuse to do something creative. Not going to deny there was a sketch involved.

Absolutely! Sounds like a lead in to an episode of Vera or Midsomer Murders with all the drama!

Why didn’t she say “no it isn’t” instead of blowing it into a massive unnecessary row with the “how dare you!”?

Everyone in this one needs to get a life.

My sister told him "how dare you, say it again if you really believe that"

Ended up with him storming off to their bedroom and SLAMMING the door

How dare he imply I'm basically abusing my beloved dog

The lot of you are like a bunch of children.

My advice is to practise handling disagreements like rational adults.

Sound amazing actually.

Better than you just being rude for the sake of it, not much going on in your life clearly.

I have no idea of OP’s finances but I couldn’t resist looking up the costs and £550k was the cheapest 🙂

What a banal argument. Everyone sounds very emotionally over-invested in the dog.

I also don't feel either way on the door slamming. It's quite easy to push a door shut irritatedly and the resulting slam be much greater than intended. Of course in an ideal world noone would irritatedly shut a door, but in that world noone is defending a dog's honour with the words like 'I dare you to say that again'

Wtf? How’s your “relationship” op? Sorry but this isn’t exactly a huge issue!? What are you even talking about you sound far too busy bodyish? Are you fulfilled in life? I mean seriously are you though?……..

@IsThereAnEchoInHere

OP has said herself it’s boring!

shes a young woman - she wants to be out and about, having new experiences and meeting new people!

Ditto! Good skills op to have saved enough for that in what 10 years of working!

I agree with this.

Won’t the dog get the shits? This sounds far too humany a meal. I thought dogs couldn’t have dairy?

I would say your sister was the one out of order.
She was goading him into an argument.

He cares about the dog and felt it wasn’t being treated right.

All your sister had to say was he does get walked but due to the weather he can’t go out as often as we like.

It sounds as though the dog wasn’t being walked and it touched a nerve between you both.

I hope you are looking after the dog properly and it sounds like he is just uninformed when it comes to dog ownership.
(So many people think dogs must be walked 3+ times a day for an hour each time).

My dog is 15 and cannot be walked in this temperature and some days does not get a walk at all because of it.
If someone called me a bad owner then of course I would be very upset but I would understand they were looking out for my dogs best interests and just explain why she’s not been walked that day as it would be cruel to force her out on a walk.

Much ado about absolutely jack shit. All of it, the argument, the walking, the slammed door, the ridiculous baking, the superdog and the fact he gets so many compliments on a ramble round and the fact he is "getting on" at age 7. Yawnfest.

To be fair, no one cares about the dog or how well-behaved it is or how people compliment it. Getting upset and offended over the dog’s honour is bizarre. It doesn’t know the difference one way or the other. Mine is also very well-behaved and gets lots of compliments from people and trainers. I try to thank people and move the conversation along at once because even I find it boring, and it’s my dog!

I dislike people raising voices and slamming doors as I find it immature and unnecessary. However if your sister is dramatically exclaiming “how dare you!! Say it again!” over mild comments then he may just be at the end of his tether with her. I think I’d be having a rethink myself if I’d gotten engaged to someone that melodramatic. 😂

If someone said “Say it again if you mean it” I think I’d have to snigger like a child. It’s not like he called her a cunt FFS he just said the dog (THATS NOT EVEN THEIR DOG)should be taken for a walk.

How on Earth can you afford a 3 bed in Camden on your own?!

Work for big 4, big data is relatively lucrative. Ex and I were going to go in on the flat together but we broke up. Carrying on with the plan regardless. I'll probably take a career break when kids come along and it'll be reassuring to have the flat as income/back up. Dad's poor behaviour has made me very cautious.

I know right!

I think I’d have to say it again just for the crack

When my sister said "say it again" I did think it was very immature.

You all sound unhealthily obsessed with the bloody dog.