BIL losing temper whilst staying for weekend

[Theeora]

My sister has recently become engaged to a man I just don't like. I'll be honest.

I live with my parents as I am trying to get on the property ladder this summer. They live remotely in a nice but compact cottage.

This morning they were planning on going for a long walk but my sister asked to adjust plans for very warm weather which dog may not tolerate.

On the drive way I overheard them arguing, BIL said something to the effect of "well, I think the dog is underwalked". My sister told him "how dare you, say it again if you really believe that". BIL did. Ended up with him storming off to their bedroom and SLAMMING the door.

Just to note, our 7 yo is the best looked after dog in the UK. The lengths we go to to look after him are both ridiculous and indulgant. Sure, when BIL is here for the odd weekend the family dog gets walked at random times but never fails to get 2 walks (on top of everything else). BIL and sister often include the dog in walks so the rest of us just work the dog's schedule around that. Dog is also getting on in age so can't walk 10 miles consecutively. Needs to rest after strenuous activity. How dare he imply I'm basically abusing my beloved dog. We live in the Lake District.

Did he act inappropriately re door slamming. I was in kitchen making cookies for the pair and didn't know where to look. Reminds me of a traumatic childhood,lots of arguing between parents (mum and dad have mellowed with age).

Added to the list of red flags

I love my dog but this thread is beyond ridiculous. Get some perspective, please!

Aw well good for you OP!

If have found that boring in late 20’s too. Lakes is lovely but NOTHING to do unless you want to walk, bake or rock climb.

OP your really going off on a tangent 😂

Won’t the dog get the shits?

I'm using recipes for dogs. It's also mini.

OP your really going off on a tangent 😂

very on brand

I would say walking the dog is code for I need some space away from your crazy mad family and your sister feels for whatever reason he isn’t putting in enough effort so she refused! This has nothing to do with your dog or a walk and everything to do with bil struggling in s remote cottage with a bat shit family baking cookies for dogs! I say that kindly as I would love to come!

I expect him to be packed and gone in 24hr or less. He clearly isn’t enjoying himself very much. Can someone take him to the pub?

Eh? The whole thread is a windup, isn’t it? How bizarre.

Are you fulfilled in life?

I'm not actually. Didn't expect to be single again and living in the middle of nowhere. But living for "tomorrow".

Well to be honesty I don't particularly enjoy having BIL around but he's the one who has chosen to spend every single one of his bank holidays this year here. Sister has said that she and BIL suspect he is on the spectrum.

This is AIBU at its most obtuse. Couple argued over something, man shouts and slams doors - not in his house, AIBU to think if he's like this here, he's worse at home? Reasonable question - we might have answered "oh does he have form, why are you worried about your sister" and so on.

But OMFG - mention DOG - AIBU rubs thighs and rolls up sleeves; ignore AIBU, lets pile in on the dog, how disgusting, it must be fat, you're obsessed, insert covert or even fully overt dig at the OP here.

None the wiser on if the sister might be an abusive relationship or if the BiL person is just a dickhead.

Not obtuse at all, no.

I agree, if my daughters fiance came into my house and slammed doors I would be pretty pissed off and would have something to say about it.

The suspected autism thing is often given as an excuse when I've raised my concerns before.

This, I don't understand the first few replies would they slam doors in people's homes.

Well cut him some slack? If he is autistic you have your answer.

Very true. Maybe this is a bad time to admit I am testing a couple of recipes for the dog's birthday.

Dog sounds like the sanest one of the lot.

Ignoring the dog thing (not my natural tendancy, I am all about the dog normally)..

Shouting, offering opinions on other peoples business, based on incomplete data, slamming doors...

Pretty obnoxious behaviour in his own home - in someone ELSES home, absolutely fucking rude.

My dogs will happily test any recipes for you OP - they are indulged and 'spoilt' by many peoples standards but fit, healthy, well behaved and well trained!

I'm partial to a good door slam, but not in someone else's home.

He's had his every whim catered to (lovely meals made, cleaned up after etc). And he's STILL acted inappropriately, to me.

I just don't want to know how he'll act when life gets shit/hard.

Ignore the poster you are right to be concerned for your sister who slams doors in another person's house. He is not your parents child.

My mum and dad had a good life before kids also. Dad lost it when he had the pressure of kids.

This sounds like the start of one of those romance novels that you read on holiday.

Evil BIL is going to storm out of the house and drive away in a rage, running over DDog in the process.

Theeora will rush Ddog to dishy but grumpy country vet. Dear dog is fine but for some unexplained reason they both need to stay with the vet for a couple of days.

Vet is impressed by both data and cooking skills and they fall in love and open a business selling home made dog treats.

Sorry op. But, you did go off in a tangent so I thought I would too 😁

Was your dad the only bread winner in the house?

This sounds exactly like the appallingly bad behaviour that my daughter’s fiancé exhibited many a time when we visited. Also when they visited us. Nothing could ever be discussed in a polite manner.

Quite a few years later, plus two children, with divorce on the cards, he is a STBXH. We could see it coming, but our daughter tried desperately hard to make it work bless her. He got much worse with the kids taking her attention away from his ‘needs’.

OP, you are very right to be concerned. Just my humble opinion of course.

@GoTeamTired haha well I did think about monetising the treats, not worth the effort. Hope your post is prophetic. Ex was a vet.