She didn't need to tell me my weight.

[NorthRock]

Just to vent as I can't share my frustration anywhere else...

I went for my NHS health check yesterday, and specifically asked not to be told my weight. I said to the nurse that I've been obsessional about it in the past and it's better for me not to know, as it sets me off... In the other questions she saw that I do cardio exercise 6 days a week, and she could see from my measurements that I'm small. I didn't want to state outright that I have a long history of eating disorders. I thought she would gauge that from everything else I'd said.

At the end of the appointment, on the card where she'd noted my BP, pulse, cholesterol etc she also wrote on my weight and BMI. She said "Oh, I know you said you didn't want to know that, but..." <tinkly laugh>

Aibu to think this was not ok? Surely she would have some awareness of EDs? I'm trying so hard not to go back to the trap of weighing and feeling compelled to lose weight, but already I'm wondering if I might buy some scales just to shave off half a stone. I've fought this for 30 years and wish she had have listened to what I was telling her.

That sounds like a better experience, Theunnamed. That was all I was hoping for. No drama - I think people think you're being dramatic if you say "I have an eating disorder" when I present as a reasonably healthy weight.

It's in line with the condition not to want to make a fuss or draw attention to it, but alluding to it and explicitly saying "Do not tell me my weight as it makes me go back to being obsessional" should be enough.

I think that's quite poor of the nurse and I would definitely do some form of feedback to the surgery as she may need additional training. It's not ok to directly go against a patient's wishes without an extremely good reason which doesn't seem to be the case here.

I’m confused why she even wrote your BP down for you.

No medical professional has ever written my details down like this and gave it to me to take home, I find it really odd.

I would be really upset if they did this and I think I’d have to say something especially as she giggled whilst doing it.

FWIW I used to have an ED and stopped using the scales as it got obsessive and because your weight fluctuates so much over the week, it would get me very down and so I always ask not to know if I need to be weighed and the nurses are always kind and don’t tell me.

Thank you. I can tell that you know the mindset. x

That's not how consent - even in a medical setting - works.
"I don't want to know my weight" is enough.

I'm pretty assertive on things like this and would have complained to her and then her boss (not shouting, but firmly so they understand it is never to happen again)

The clue for you there is in the word "document". Not shoot her mouth off when asked not to.

When I was losing weight with a PT, I made sure I never learned my weight between weigh ins. All the nurses and doctors I saw managed to handle that request just fine.

Oh didn’t you know OP? The NHS is on its knees and so you should bow, scrape and accept any crappiness you get from HCPs because you should be so grateful to see them. 🙄

The Op was perfectly clear she didn’t want the data and provided sufficient information as to why. This was a 30 min appointment not a rushed 6 mins in and out. I would absolutely feed this back to the practice manager. You don’t have to phrase it exactly as a complaint but you can explain you were clear you didn’t want those points, she knew this and gave to you anyway, you have found this very unhelpful and upsetting and it has made you unwilling to engage with further preventative appointments.

Dont take this on you, it’s not you. And plenty of people on this thread clearly don’t get it.

I think submitting feedback would be appropriate. Having never had an ED so don’t want to give advice on something I know nothing about, but is it possible to have it written in your notes that it shouldn’t be disclosed to you. I don’t know if the nurses check notes before seeing someone though. The trouble is she may have thought it was just vanity rather than a real issue so didn’t give it the right respect. She does need to be made aware that she shouldn’t do it in future though.

Fellow ED sufferer here - sorry that happened to you, I would find it hard as well. It's like waving a bottle of vodka under the nose of a recovered alcoholic. But it was just a slip up, I wouldn't really blame the nurse, she probably didn't realise

That's a good way of putting it.

I get this but I also think that given anorexia is the mental illness with the highest mortality rate, not thinking/not knowing isn't and shouldn't be an excuse for HCPs.

This is the card I was given, for clarity.

You didn't consent go being told your weight. You explicitly said you didn't concent. Complain.

I would give feedback. That's how they learn. I have had HCPs who are so sensitive and choose their words incredibly carefully and others who.... don't. I know what a difference both types have made to me at vulnerable times and that extends to all their patients. I always try to give feedback both good and bad and i think providers are always happy to hear from patients as it ultimately if the health care system is working at its best everyone benefits.

I'd hidden it in my pocket but this thread has given me the courage to look at it again, and now I see that general feedback should be simple.

Contact the GP and say you would like to provide some feedback on your appointment and explain what happened. Speak to the practice manager if you can. You made a basic request that wasn't followed, totally reasonable to provide feedback on this. If patients don't let management know then services can't be improved.

If the nurse hears the words please don’t tell me my weight then I don’t see it matters how many times she hears it. It’s not a difficult request to follow and it doesn’t need a detailed explanation to justify.

Maybe also feed back to that bit that says feedback

Yep I'll go to there, nahwhale.

Thanks so much to everyone for your responses and support.

This has really made me cross - so sorry for you OP she should not have behaved like this.. many people don't go for these health checks and this is the kind of thing that puts people off. If there was a clinical reason for to you know that's different and I am sure it could be handled in a more sensitive manner.

Please give feedback. You don’t need to make it a formal complaint. People, even nurses, make mistakes and need to be given the opportunity to learn from them. As you said, it was a simple thing, it only required her to listen, and the consequences for you are quite significant.

I hope you are ok. Please ignore all the “she was busy, this isn’t a big deal” comments. I agree it’s not necessarily sensible to make this into a huge thing, but please do give feedback because in a half hour appointment that was meant to be promoting your health, there should be some consideration of you as a person.

You didn't want to know your weight, yet you've posted your weight and other personal medical stats on a public internet forum? Okay...

Anyway, YANBU about the nurse's ignorance of your request. Healthcare professionals need to sort it out. I was picking up a prescription yesterday and the pharmacist shouted across to the other pharmacist the name of the medication, which is well-known. Everyone in the queue heard and I was mortified.

Late to the thread but did you really need to be weighed? I have a health check each year for a chronic condition but just decline to be weighed - my weight has no impact on my medication, I'm active, have a good diet and know that I'm not overweight so what value does the number have to my appointment apart from statistics and then causing me unnecessary anxiety?

It's probably needed for the file. If you were required to go on medication, to get the dosage right they would need your weight information.

The root cause as mentioned previously is your ED not the nurse.

Absolutely this