Do holidays and days out really not matter?

[bottomlypotts22]

Every time the school holidays roll around I get this feeling of inadequacy about not doing enough with my kids. And every time I give my head a wobble and remember that love, time and attention are far more important.

Having said that, I want my dc to experience things outside of our hometown. Yes we go to the park, library, swimming, cafes but it's all things they've done before. I always felt like I wanted to give my kids more holidays and days out (not for the Instagram brags) but so they have a well rounded view of the world and plenty of experiences under their belt. Not just the same old things in the same old environment.

As it turns out, work commitments, money issues and the fact I don't drive always seem to get in the way. We have no holiday booked yet for this year and half term has once again been busy but just with the same old shit - swimming, park, walks, lunch out, garden centre they've been to a million times, you get the drift.

So what's your take? Is it important to give your kids new experiences or am I putting too much importance on it?

Ime time away from the home and day to day drudge is vital. Days out are great it doesn't have to be a trip away exactly.. Ds has ASD and actually thrives from overnight breaks away.. Other dc seemed happy with just a day out! We camp quite often. Initial costs but cheap sites are plentiful!

I think new experiences are important but that doesn't need to be lavish holidays and expensive days out. There are many ways to give children good experiences. And documentaries and books if they're interested is a great way to broaden their minds if you can't take them to a specific place.

School trips and occasional holidays help broaden kid's horizons.

Going to other people's houses, ditto.

Eating somewhere they haven't eaten before, so ring the changes if you go to a cafe. Model being adventurous, Try something they won't have had before so they can taste it.

Choose a great wildlife programme.

You can be adventurous of mind, even if you're physically limited in what you can do.

Are your kids happy and enjoying what you do?
That's the important thing?

I would say days out don’t have to be earth shattering if you’re on a budget. Get the bus to the next town over if you’ve never been before. Let them take photos and call it an art project. Let them stay up late on a clear night and walk to an open space or lie on a blanket in the garden to look at the sky.
I think it’s important to do new things, to stretch children’s imaginations and give them material for dreaming and creativity but it doesn’t have to be spending hundreds at a theme park type stuff.

Holidays, days out and experiences are a high priority in our family but everyone is different. Our kids are 4 and almost 2 and have done loads and been all over. They won’t remember it but we will. We have made other sacrifices to enable it though, we live in a nice but modest house (4 bed end Victorian terrace). We looked at detached houses during lockdown but decided not to make the move to maintain the lifestyle. It was the right choice for us.

New experiences and places are very important to children. You should be making the effort to take them to new environments and not the same old stuff over and over again.

They don’t have to be expensive but if you have the time to do the same stuff on repeat you have the time take them somewhere new.

Most kids are in holiday care for the school holidays so the fact you were able to take them out is a bonus. I learned to drive when mine were at primary which really helped.

I would consider saving up and inter railing at some point, they have private rooms in hostels or there's cheap hotels, my kids loved it

I would like to do more but I do struggle as there's quite a sizeable age gap between mine and finding things that are suitable for them both is tricky. Also dh isn't the most dynamic sometimes and him and my older dc both take some geeing up to actually do stuff out of the norm.

I really don't think "experiences" in the modern sense of the word are important at all. I spent my school holidays going to the same garden centres, cafes, town centres and parks week after week with my grandparents, interspersed with the same old canal boat holiday, and I was very happy. As I got older and my parents became better off we did start going on more adventurous holidays and I did enjoy those too, but I don't remember them with the same fondness as the "same old" stuff.

If it was a choice between love time and attention OR new experiences then obviously the former would be better but there's no reason why it has to be one or the other.

As pps have said "new experience" doesn't have to mean "expense"

• you can travel an hour in the uk and usually be in a completely different county with different accents, their own history, specialist museums etc. Most places in the UK are within a few hours of the seaside if they've never been (free once you get there), or conversely if you live rurually take a trip to the nearest big city (again loads of free activities).

Take sandwiches or just buy a pasty and icecream once you're there and you can have a day out for just the price of transport- look out for railcard deals or check where the megabucks or national express go near you and book early.

I'm sure the kids are more than happy to spend 90% of their time locally but if you start planning now you can book a few days out over the 6 week summer holidays.

I would aim to plan one new/different thing each school holidays. (2 or 3 over summer) but it doesn’t have to be expensive or some sort of big day out. Just something to break up the normal a bit.

What you're doing sounds just fine to me OP. I don't think holidays are important but getting out of the house and doing activities and going places is. Even if they don't cost a lot.

I agree that new places and experiences help to build confidence in a variety of environments.

Theme parks are overrated esp in the holidays as you queue for hours. We go once a year for a birthday. We do a train trip to London once or twice a year and go to free museums. Overall there's nothing wrong with staying local but if you want to plan one big day out every now and again nothing wrong with that either.

Yes, new experiences are important to make children more open-minded. Sounds like your older DC is already falling down the hole of not wanting to do anything new or outside the norm. If your DP is the same then it sounds a bit tricky for you, regardless of the money aspect! However, I agree with PP that new experiences do not necessarily need to be expensive. Maybe go to a different park/swimming pool, try something different to eat, go camping (even in the garden?)

I think the key thing here is if the children are happy? If that is a yes then don't worry. Sounds like you are more bored maybe? Do you need something for yourself that is different? When they are old enough they will let you know where they want to go or do that is different. Enjoy the years where they are easily pleased.

The attention is the main thing I think. We worked hard to find the nicest holiday clubs we could for them when we both had to work. They got to do some cool stuff like canoeing and quadbiking. But holiday club was always second best to pootling about at home, going swimming, ice cream at the park etc. Time together is really precious, they won't always want to do these things. It doesn't need to be big trips out.

That said, a night or two away camping was a real highlight for my kids. My 14 year old has just asked if we can go again this year...

• when I say camping, it's literally 20 mins up the road for a night or two, just me and the kids. It could not be less exotic.

I usually take mine away for a night somewhere, but haven't for the last two school holidays because of one thing or another. I was going to do an outdoor activity other than local beauty spot but as DC are going on an organised overnight trip with a club they wanted to stay home...so boring for me though!

I live on the outskirts of London so have been very lucky to be able to access lots of different experiences - food, art, dance, opera even. Some of it was free or very affordable. It’s possible to expose children to different things without going anywhere though if you’re open minded and don’t make assumptions about what they’ll like. I’m thinking about parents who pre-empt their children with “I don’t think you’ll like that” when they’re just about to try a new food for example. Have a Mexican / Persian/ Japanese/ whatever food night and make some dishes at home… watch suitable anime films or underground film, make a fire and cook in the garden, take them to an art gallery.

My school holidays consisted of family board games, crafts, playing in the garden etc we didn't even eat out and I had a brilliant childhood!

Obviously days out and holidays are lovely but really they aren't necessarily at all and it wasn't until covid happened that I realised so many people seem to think that going on holiday is a human right.

You do loads of activities with the kids and they'll have a great time., surely loads of kids just watch tv the whole time in the holidays too

For our family we prioritise holidays abroad twice a year and weekends away in between. Our day to day lives are incredibly busy and stressful 3 dc with disabilities one severely complex so we give up alot and rely on our holidays and breaks as a family to get us through. I do think it's important for children to experience different places, cultures and exciting trips life can be so dull and especially recently kids don't get to be just kids anymore they seem to take the weight of the world at a very young age.

The bus over is a great idea. There’s so much interesting stuff in the uk quite often just very slightly hidden away, things like Roman ruins, or the site of battles or um interesting things on buildings

I think as long as you’re doing what you can. New experiences and different places are great for kids, but it doesn’t have to break the bank. A few nights camping will be fine for a holiday.
I know it all depends on where you live and what’s around, and yes, not driving makes it more challenging, but public transport is fun for kids, so just keep trying your best.
I have amazing memories of simple trips out like country parks and picnics from when I was a kid. We didn’t have a lot of money so all our holidays were UK based too. Camping or caravans. Loved it!