Do holidays and days out really not matter?

[bottomlypotts22]

Every time the school holidays roll around I get this feeling of inadequacy about not doing enough with my kids. And every time I give my head a wobble and remember that love, time and attention are far more important.

Having said that, I want my dc to experience things outside of our hometown. Yes we go to the park, library, swimming, cafes but it's all things they've done before. I always felt like I wanted to give my kids more holidays and days out (not for the Instagram brags) but so they have a well rounded view of the world and plenty of experiences under their belt. Not just the same old things in the same old environment.

As it turns out, work commitments, money issues and the fact I don't drive always seem to get in the way. We have no holiday booked yet for this year and half term has once again been busy but just with the same old shit - swimming, park, walks, lunch out, garden centre they've been to a million times, you get the drift.

So what's your take? Is it important to give your kids new experiences or am I putting too much importance on it?

We only manage to get away once a year and it's a haven holiday in the UK. We book the next one when we come home from that years holiday and pay monthly payments over 10 months. It makes it easier to budget for it. Then we save up spending money bit by bit in a savings account set up for this sort of thing. I book the activities when haven notify me that I can and that way those are already paid for. I also put money on a supermarket gift card to take care of the food shop money. We travel by train, we have 3 kids and my husband is an amputee and we manage it fine. We just choose ones easiest to get to by train and have settled on Hafan y mor for now because its got a good range of things to do, a pool which is like a water park and it's 1 train from where we are and there is a station just down the road from the haven site (easy walking distance even for an amputee) we have done it even with a little one, 2 older kids, a wheelchair and all of our bags.

Holidays do not have to be super expensive but we do make getting away a priority. My kids love the beach. They got chatting to a family who own a caravan there last year and they let all the kids have a go in their kayak and it was FREE and the highlight of their holiday.
My best friend is a single parent and we often book her and her daughter onto our holiday so that they get a holiday too ans only have to find train fare and spending money. sometimes it can be a struggle to afford it but we cut back on other luxuries to make sure we can do it

Some comments on here earlier are breathtakingly tone deaf when OP clearly says money is an issue. She can’t afford to go on holidays to far off places at the moment.

Sounds like you are doing fine OP. Maybe look at the train networks near you. Camping in back garden if you have one? National Trust pass for when you are a bit more flush?

Yes kids remember exotic places and visiting all over the world. But I know some kids who do all that and barely blink, they are jaded and bored because they are always at Disney or something! Would rather be glued to gaming or phone.

Most important thing is the obvious one - happy memories of a united and loving family!

When mine were small we had a few bbq's in the garden, followed by a sleep out in the shed, the kids loved it!
My grandchildren ( 2 different families) had a sleepover here, they were up until 3 in the morning and had a blast. One day I took them on the local bus, not actually going anywhere, just a round trip and back to town which they really loved as they rarely went on a bus. We went blackberry picking in the afternoon and they said it was the best day they've ever had.
Local parks can have a bat colony, ours has and we go bat- hunting at dusk in the summer. Afterwards we walk through town in the dark, they've obviously not been out in the town at night and they love it. Chips on the way home, eaten in the garden at night, perfect evening!

My grandad who couldn’t drive used to take us on trips in the holidays with a packed lunch on the bus. I remember going to a big park and the airport to look at planes. Looking back both trips wouldn’t have cost much but are clear memories 40 years later.

We went all over curtesy of Tesco clubcard
points. They used to do some brilliant points deals. Sometimes it was like they were paying you to take stuff off their shelf

I don’t drink but when they were offering 500 points for every 2 bottles of wine and 25% off every 6 bottles, you bet I cleared those shelves

Cheapest wine at the time was £1.99 per bottle and 500 points was the equivalent of £20 towards a holiday.

so 6 bottles of wine was £11.94 with 25% off it became £8.95 but then you got 1500 clubcard points worth £60 for an out lay of £8.95
Sold the wine on for £1 per bottle to friends and so in total I spent £2.95 and got £60

We went on holiday 10days by the Red Sea was about £2000. I think I had to give £200 in cash because you couldn’t pay fully with points and had £1800 in vouchers so in total that holiday cost me £288.50.

I miss the Tesco voucher deals.

i also miss the extra Tesco points that the thief who stole my handbag was racking up for me for years
Think whoever it was got their Tesco clubcard and mine mixed up and was using mine and probably threw theirs away.

🤣

Some lovely ideas here.

Twinkl is a great resource. It's the same programme that teachers use. You'll find lots of different options on there. We love printing nature pages off and identifying plants, trees, flowers etc.
Print free sheets for I-spy, activities etc off the Internet. Pirate treasure hunt. Our 6 year is currently enjoying animal habitats and makes hedgehog hides wherever we go.

And a good few of the parents who take kids abroad DONT do this None of mine ever stayed st an English speaking hotel with English food. But have been to local markets on the bus. Seen ruined castles. And played on beach etc My son who is now 19 is now a keen traveller to Germany where he practises his German and eats far too much bratwurst lol

Yes my son had a part time job at McDonald's from age 16. So saved towards driving lessons although I paid for a few for his birthday. He's now got a car ( old astra) and just paid a years insurance up front. I paid for my own lessons and car from 17/18 as did DD with her part time job

She said she doesn't drive. I know in theory she could carry the tent, the supplies and the kids.

National Trust tends to need driving abilities

Bless you, thanks for sharing that about your house

It is boredom that fuels creativity and imagination. Kids having travelled half the world and tried every activity by age 4 does nothing for them other than oversaturates them and causes a burnout while they are still young. They aren't interested in anything, can't play, can't occupy themselves, have zero imagination or social skills but parents happy as they ve travelled half the world most of which they can't understand or process.
You are doing the right thing. Probably too much. Just let them be. Rest is important.
You can see the Limited capacities in most of those with PPs with experiences- most failed to understand your post.

Kids need to play, figure things our by themselves and grow with thirst for discovering new things and places and for trying new things You making them experience all of this plus a billion other things while they are young turns out spoilt entitled brats interested in nothing but themselves and entertainment on tap (usually the kind that requires being attached to a sofa). The level of overstimulation that many parents practice (usually the aspiring ones that had nothing like it themselves) doesn't Foster curiosity or anything indeed.

PGL do short family breaks in the school holidays, v cheap and enough to keep all ages amused, I was pleasantly surprised.

I think doing things slightly out of your normal comfort zone with kids is important so that they can grow up to be confident and not anxious. That doesn't need to be lots of expensive trips and activities but for example if you just do the same 3 local things why not look at doing 1 or 2 slightly different things. E.g. Take a train or coach trip somewhere, to visit a free museum / beach / park. Maybe a cheap caravan holiday.

I have a bit of an age gap and find museums, swimming pools, long walks, bike rides, sightseeing or visiting some new shops work well for mixed ages as long as they are over 5 ish.

Would rather be glued to gaming or phone

errrr yes a lot of kids are glued to their screens. I don’t see how NOT going out and about is going to improve that. Doing nothing with your children isn’t going to magically get them off the sofa and out brass rubbing or twig collecting. Like a lot of things it’s about the amount and type of activities that you do and finding a balance.

Lots of great suggestions here. Not sure if I've missed your kids ages or you just haven't posted them, but another thing I'd suggest is looking at what extra curricular activities are on offer in your local area, in school holidays and in term time, and see if there's any that could plug the gaps for you. Particularly if you're anxious about traveling anywhere, as you wouldn't want that to rub off on your kids!
For example, Scouting and Girlguiding usually offer pretty low cost weekends away if your kids are beavers/cubs/scouts/brownies/guides, or there may be a local holiday club which offers coach trips during the summer hols to the beach, forests etc.

Another suggestion may be to look at PGL activity holidays for your kids; generally these are residential, but are much cheaper than then entire family going for the equivalent time at Butlins and doing all the activities. You could even send your kids on separate weeks, so you can have 1:1 time at home with the other one.

I'd say (age depending) chat to your kids now about the big summer holidays. Ask them what they'd like to do, if there's anywhere they really wanna go, give them a budget and get them to plan a day out each. Then try and work it into a calendar. In your days just at home, having supplies for crafting, growing some plants, baking, and even cooking dinner sometimes, will help to ease the boredom.

You could even do a jar with colour coded sticks with activities on them - Eg yellow is at home, blue is local and free, red is further afield and more expensive, purple is local and costs some money, green is mystery.
(Yellow - bake crispy cakes, paint a masterpiece, build a fort and watch a film in it, pop popcorn on the hob, plant some seeds, tent day in the garden, board games, waterfight! Blue - visit the library, visit to local park 1, visit to local park 2, football on the green, cricket on the green, picnic in the woods, scavenger hunt, geocaching, Red - trampoline park, bowling, laser tag, arcade, mini golf. Purple - charity shop challenge, cinema, swimming, chippy tea, Green - invite a friend round, mystery dinner night, BBQ tea, stargazing at midnight, mystery outing, find a new park). Makes it easier to budget, and you can tell your kids to choose a free one, or to choose one for at home today.

We very really went anywhere when I was a child due to not having a car and little money . We relied on relatives to take us on days out on bank holidays I didn’t go abroad till I was 19 we holidayed in the uk in the same resort every year . I have fond memories of my child hood but I did feel I’d missed out and have somewhat

Pressed send too soon . Was going to say I now have somewhat of an addiction to travel and my life revolves around it somewhat I have made lots of sacrifices to fulfil my desire to travel . As a result my son has been to every continent at age 11 does he appreciate it probably not as irs all he’s known . What I’m trying to say is my lack of r experiences in early life hasn’t held me Back in later life I have a great job and have just made experiences and travel a priority

I take total offence to this.

My kid is 5 and super well travelled but is nothing like the no imagination, tired of the world with no social skills child you describe above. The generalisation and assumptions are just as bad as the people that say kids that never do anything other than the park will be limited in their cultural awareness etc.

Also just as bad as people who say kids never remember holidays or always prefer camping. My kids don’t and will certainly tell you Disney World is better then the local farm. But I understand why some kids might hate Disney but like camping/farms etc. Just because you don’t do one doesn’t necessarily make the other one bad or not worth while.

Of course they matter.

I always get the mum guilt as I work majority of holidays, as a single parent I can’t afford to take off every time they’re off.
This time I had off the bank holiday Monday and then yesterday as it was an inset day and over summer they’ll spend 4 of 6 weeks at kids club but thankfully they enjoy it and it is amazing.
Time is the most important thing, later in the evening we play video games or watch a movie before bed as when they come in from school they have clubs or go out with their mates.

Also just to add I personally love being outdoors and experiencing and exploring however I have a car as where I live public transport is rubbish and learnt to drive at 17, we do go away but it’s not all spend spend spend.
mine love the beach, park, forest but also love a theme park.
I use my clubcard vouchers for meals or days out, use BOGOF deals, go in term time when it’s quieter and cheaper. Free museums.
we swim once a week at the gym together and have movie, games nights, camp in the garden.
lockdown really highlighted to me how much quality time I had with my kids as I was on furlough and we made the most of our days even though attractions etc were closed.