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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'I don't have time to read'

259 replies

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:47

Does anyone else get this?

Hobbies wise, apart from walks, I'm not massively active, so I'd say my main hobbies are reading, and listening to podcasts.

The amount of times friends have said they 'don't have time' for either of these things really baffles me - and actually makes me wonder why they seem to say it in a way that implies I have more hours in my day than they do.

We are all at similar points in our lives; working, children, partners, homes to run. They have the time, they just don't have the inclination.

AIBU for wanting to say 'put down the remote control and pick up a book' next time one of them comments?

OP posts:
LennyBalls · 30/05/2023 08:50

I have two friends like this. They say they don't have time to read, watch TV, go for walks etc. we all work the same hours and their houses aren't tidy so I don't understand what they spend their time doing. The implication is that they do more than me but my house is always tidy. I don't get it

FloydWasACat · 30/05/2023 08:51

I am a librarian, I am constantly surrounded by books. My husband became tetraplegic two years ago. I have a 7 year old and a 14 year old and I work. I don't have time to read.

The best I can do is an audio book when I try to sleep at night, I don't always get through a chapter before I am out for the count.

CornishGem1975 · 30/05/2023 08:51

I might say I don't have time to read, but what I mean is I don't have decent time to read. I can't read at 8pm at night after I've finished work, dealt with the kids, made dinner, tidied up etc as I can't focus on the book at all, I'm too tired.

And quite often there's still other stuff to do in the evenings, which yeah, means I don't have time. Maybe you're fortunate you don't have to fill your evenings doing lots of other shit, but many people do.

Charliescat · 30/05/2023 08:52

I have friends who don’t have time to read or exercise but who can happily sit on a social media group chat all day and night reporting on the minutiae of their lives . People are strange .

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 30/05/2023 08:53

OP, you and I could be the same person. Your hobbies are my hobbies.

That's all I've got to add, really.

Original poster
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:54

If people have time to watch a film, or tv series, they have time to read, they just don't want to.

As I said in my post, we are all at the same points in our lives.

No one is in a carers role, other than to their healthy children.

OP posts:
goldenlocks · 30/05/2023 08:54

! Judgy pants post alert !

Jeffjefftyjeff · 30/05/2023 08:55

I find it harder to read at the time I used to (after 9.30, before going to sleep) as I get tired earlier and it makes my eyes hurt more than it used to. I listen to podcasts instead. So technically I do have time to read I guess, but it’s harder.

Original poster
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:55

goldenlocks · 30/05/2023 08:54

! Judgy pants post alert !

The exact opposite, actually - as I feel like I am being judged for finding the time to do the things I enjoy.

If it comes across like I think i am superior for reading over watching, I am not. I love a good series binge, and go through stages of doing both.

OP posts:
Bananarepublic · 30/05/2023 08:55

Your friends do have time to read but prioritise other things.

They also practise competitive busyness, which is really annoying (I just don't have time for x,y,z because I am so busy!

Original poster
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:56

Bananarepublic · 30/05/2023 08:55

Your friends do have time to read but prioritise other things.

They also practise competitive busyness, which is really annoying (I just don't have time for x,y,z because I am so busy!

That's exactly it - competitive busyness!

I'll have to remember that

OP posts:
Equalitea · 30/05/2023 08:57

I don’t have much time to read but I listen to an hour of an audiobook each day whilst cleaning :)
I don’t watch tv unless with the oh, so otherwise am at work, cleaning, driving, sleeping, cooking etc so I don’t have time to enjoy a book when at home. Out of the house I prioritise socialising, exercising and beauty/hair treatments x

backinthebox · 30/05/2023 08:57

Why is it strange that someone else does not have time to do the things you like to do? They are probably so busy doing the things they like to do they don’t have time do read.

Original poster
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:59

Actually, to be transparent, I probably do have more time in my day to be able to listen to podcasts because I find it impossible to walk anywhere by myself without listening to something, and I have a WFH role which allows me to have one on in the background.

But the reading thing - I don't have any more time in the day than any of my friends

OP posts:
Tanfastic · 30/05/2023 08:59

I have lots of hobbies and I quite often get people say to me "I don't know how you find the time" and i don't know why but the comment has always irritated me over the years.

I work full time and have a family, elderly parent etc similar to most people.

Don't get me wrong I don't have the time to do them all at the same time but I do spend some time most days doing one of them and no my house is not a tiip 😂

People have different priorities don't they? I normally find an hour or two in an evening to myself. Maybe some people don't get that and are literally on the go until bedtime or they like to go to the gym. Dunno.

BreviloquentBastard · 30/05/2023 08:59

I often say I don't have time to read, because I don't have time to read the way I like to. I like to lose myself in a book for hours and hours on end, I really struggle to just pick it up and put it down. I listen to audio books while I do housework instead, and read properly when I'm on holiday!

StopFeckingFaffing · 30/05/2023 09:00

I am guilty of saying this and I suppose what I mean is that in my normal day to day life my routine does not allow time for reading. I love to read on holidays and train journeys though.

I don't watch TV much either but I do run, cycle, hike and sew so it's just a case of how I prioritise my leisure time.

Ideally I would like to read for 15-20 minutes in bed before I go to sleep but DH hates the light and claims than even the Kindle light keeps him awake.

Shadow1986 · 30/05/2023 09:01

I’ve said before I’m too busy to read, I guess I could make time to read but I prioritise other things in the only spare time I have - mainly exercise as I like to stay active.
If I do happen to have a spare hour, I would probably watch something that I don’t need to invest time in, like a documentary rather than a series. Which is why I’m unlikely to pick up a book as I would need to invest time to complete it. I love reading on holiday when I can get through the book really quickly. I think you just need to understand peoples priorities are different than yours.

YnysMonCrone · 30/05/2023 09:01

It depends if they are coming from a place where they simply don't want to read (its not compulsory) or they are lamenting "oh I wish I had time ...."
I used to be a big reader, spent a huge amount of time reading. After a traumatic event last year, I no longer read for pleasure. It's like I don't have the head space for it. If I was describing the inability, I might refer to it as lack of time to keep things simple/private

backinthebox · 30/05/2023 09:01

@aperolspritzbasicbitch ‘If people have time to watch a film, or tv series, they have time to read, they just don't want to.’
I don’t read much and barely watch TV. I study maps. I bet you don’t study maps for hours on end. But if you weren’t so busy reading you would have time to, you just don’t want to. I don’t really care though whether you want to or not because I’m doing what makes me happy. You are doing what makes you happy, so I don’t see why it would bother you either.

Original poster
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 09:01

backinthebox · 30/05/2023 08:57

Why is it strange that someone else does not have time to do the things you like to do? They are probably so busy doing the things they like to do they don’t have time do read.

Then they have the time, just not the inclination. So say that. I wouldn't say that I don't have time to play tennis/netball/take up an evening class. I simply do not want to.

OP posts:
FloydWasACat · 30/05/2023 09:01

I am in a 'carers role' who are you to say things about other people's lives? Maybe read some more, then you wouldn't have the time to be posting this.

I always stay away from posting in anger on this site but this has really really annoyed me.

Crikeyisthatthetime · 30/05/2023 09:02

@FloydWasACat you genuinely don't have time to read. I think OP is talking about people who DO have time, but say they don't. In a way that implies that if you have time to read you are slovenly in other areas of your life ( in other words, me - because if I pick up a good book nothing else gets done until I have finished it, so I have to choose my reading moments wisely!)

whatkatydid2013 · 30/05/2023 09:02

I don’t think it’s judgy. It’s being irritated that people are acting as if you are lucky to have free time to do something when in reality they also have free time and just choose to do something else.

It’s like right now I’m waiting for a report to run at work and I only have 6 minutes till it finishes so I’ve come on mumsnet. I can’t do anything else on laptop or it will crash & I’ll have to start again. I equally could have done a life admin task in that time and saved the 6 minutes this evening but there is nothing pressing so I’m on social media. People do what suits them with their free time and that’s fine but suggesting they have no time for reading if they have got time for social media/tv/crafting or whatever their own hobbies are is weird.

NotTerfNorCis · 30/05/2023 09:02

It's priorities. I 'don't have time' to garden because I'm too busy reading.