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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'I don't have time to read'

259 replies

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:47

Does anyone else get this?

Hobbies wise, apart from walks, I'm not massively active, so I'd say my main hobbies are reading, and listening to podcasts.

The amount of times friends have said they 'don't have time' for either of these things really baffles me - and actually makes me wonder why they seem to say it in a way that implies I have more hours in my day than they do.

We are all at similar points in our lives; working, children, partners, homes to run. They have the time, they just don't have the inclination.

AIBU for wanting to say 'put down the remote control and pick up a book' next time one of them comments?

OP posts:
Welshwabbit · 30/05/2023 21:30

Also shout out to the wonderful 50 books in a year thread, which is what got me back into reading!

TheKobayashiMaru · 30/05/2023 21:52

I say 'I don't have time to read' because how I 'read' has changed. I no longer buy or read physical books. Haven't read a physical book in many years. I listen to audio books and do so while I am cleaning or doing DIY etc. So I don't have 'time' to dedicate to sitting down to read while not doing anything else, because that time is now associated with cleaning and house maintenance.

Sigmama · 30/05/2023 21:58

It doesn't mean you don't have time, you've just changed how you do things

bathty · 30/05/2023 22:06

I wish I had the time to sit on line and twist a randoms post to suit a narrative that I can get enraged about.

You clearly do have the time though! 😆

Kanaloa · 31/05/2023 07:54

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 21:05

Some of you are taking this really personally.

I don't judge anyone for not reading. Just like I don't judge anyone for not going to the gym, or playing football, or running, or making themselves a pretty macrame plant hanger. I also don't feel the need to declare I'm too busy to do any of those things. Because I'm not - I just don't want to.

I wish I had the time to sit on line and twist a randoms post to suit a narrative that I can get enraged about. 🙃

But it’s not about whether you personally judge people! It’s about a societal attitude. Look at the replies on this thread that you started. It’s sad/depressing, people probably can’t spell, everyone could and should read before bed etc. This is the attitude towards those who don’t read. Can’t you see why people, perhaps after seeing a thread like this, might say ‘oh I don’t have time?’

Catspyjamas17 · 31/05/2023 08:06

I think some people genuinely don't have time - or the mental/physical energy to do things they would actually enjoy more. Been there. Or the money to do them.

But for people who do have a degree of autonomy over their time and the spare funds then it is more a question of priorities.

Meeting · 31/05/2023 09:32

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 21:14

@Meeting no back tracking - I stand by what I said. They make comments about not having time to read in the same conversation as talking about films/series we watch. So, they did have the time, they just prioritised watching the tv. I didn't once say that was wrong, I'd be a massive hypocrite if I did.

I feel like I've explained this several times already, but sure, you're twist on things is more entertaining.

Do you really think people are silly enough to believe that?
I bet the same people tell you what they eat for dinner but you don't say they should put the food down and read. You absolutely are backtracking.

Original poster
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 31/05/2023 09:49

@Meeting quite the reach there.

Eating dinner and choosing how to spend leisure time are completely different.

Equally, I'm sure if I said I had a Sunday roast they wouldn't feel the need to declare that they couldn't possible find the time to cook one themselves.

It's the assumption (or, what I feel is an assumption) that I must have more leisurely time - the competitive business- that bothers me, and I have never head them say it about any other hobby.

Also, it doesn't really matter if anyone else believes it, I'm not backtracking, I've explained what I meant.

Wild really - 'I feel judged'
'No! You're judgey!'

Oh ok then.

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 31/05/2023 09:51

Equally, I'm sure if I said I had a Sunday roast they wouldn't feel the need to declare that they couldn't possible find the time to cook one themselves.

Are you? I say that quite often.

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