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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

1000 replies

Safarigiraffe · 29/05/2023 23:07

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 29/05/2023 23:09

Your in-laws are unhinged. Fucking hell.

Cookerhood · 29/05/2023 23:09

8 or 8.15 isn't that late even if you have yo get up early. I think it would have been nice if she had stayed longer - weddings are a special occasion. However I don't think people should give her a hard time if that's what she had decided.

ReginaTheEvilQueen · 29/05/2023 23:10

Yanbu! As long as she said a polite goodbye to at least one of the married couple, apologising and explaining the situation and wishing them a happy day then thats all good, your mum is overreacting

ReginaTheEvilQueen · 29/05/2023 23:10

Sorry mil

MayBeeJuneSoon · 29/05/2023 23:11

Why didn't she book annual leave?

And why home so early?

bunnyrabbitsandbutterflies · 29/05/2023 23:11

It's no one else's business but I would think 8pm is early to be home for a 6am wake up.

Overthebow · 29/05/2023 23:11

Why did she have to be home at 8ish if she didn’t have to get up until 6.30 the next morning? It’s not that early, surely she could have stayed until 9pm?

Safarigiraffe · 29/05/2023 23:11

Yes she did say goodbye to bride/groom explaining situation they were fine with it

OP posts:
ThrowAwayOne · 29/05/2023 23:12

8pm isn't late, wedding meals are expensive so I'd have asked DD to stay until she'd ate then slip out quietly. It's none of anyone elses business though.

Popsicle42 · 29/05/2023 23:12

In-laws sound insane, but DD could have waited til the end of the meal. It’s a bit precious to leave after starters when you’re getting home as early as 8:15.

NotAMug · 29/05/2023 23:12

I don't really get why she had to be home so early really. It's really rude to have left that early unnecessarily.

FloweryName · 29/05/2023 23:12

I can see both sides. It does seem rude to leave a table before food is served and 8.15 isn’t exactly late to get home even with an early start, especially when it’s for a one off special occasion. But I also understand it’s not nice feeling tired all day.

Ginger1982 · 29/05/2023 23:13

Why did she need to be home for 8.15? Seems very early even for a 6.30 wake up.

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 29/05/2023 23:13

Sound like she wasn't intending to stay very long after the food, even if it had run to time so she perhaps shouldn't have accepted the invite or arranged the day after off. I would expect the wedding party to be a bit out of by this but would depend on full circumstances which we don't know

Beamur · 29/05/2023 23:13

I don't get why she had to leave so early? Getting home at 8pm for a 6.30am start is hardly putting herself out?
From this perspective I think MIL might have a point. Although kicking off at anyone's wedding is pretty poor form..

Lcb123 · 29/05/2023 23:13

She didn’t need to leave that early. As long as she was home by 10. And no idea why your husband has to walk her to the car park-couldn’t have helped the disruption

HerRoyalNotness · 29/05/2023 23:13

I think she left a bit early. Personally I’d be happy if I was home 10/10.30. But it’s up to her and no they shouldn’t have hassled her about it

SamW98 · 29/05/2023 23:13

YANBU. Absolutely nothing to do with in laws as to why she needed to leave with a valid reason.

Do they often get involved on offering their unwanted opinions?

RampantIvy · 29/05/2023 23:13

Both the in laws and your DD were unreasonable.

They shouldn't have kicked up a fuss, but needing to be home by 8pm to get up at 6.30 is rather OTT.

Freddiefox · 29/05/2023 23:13

8.15 is hardly late. But it’s up to dd she can make her own choices, but it does seem a bit precious.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/05/2023 23:14

Why she left early is nobody's business. Good grief.

Safarigiraffe · 29/05/2023 23:14

Its more the way that it became a massive issue which resulted in MIL running after her causing a scene

OP posts:
comedycentral · 29/05/2023 23:14

She left really early, considering, and I bet the meal cost the married couple a fortune. I don't think MIL should have chased her though.

Hfgvi · 29/05/2023 23:15

Why did she have to be home for 8pm to get up at 6.30am? Leaving early rather than staying overnight I can understand but surely she could have eaten her meal and still got home way before midnight.

user1477391263 · 29/05/2023 23:15

An early start for me usually involves preparing the evening before. If I get overtired and don’t have enough time to make preparations without stress I get migraines. I’ve learned not to push things to the limit. If she needed to leave at that time, I’d assume that there are reasons. She cleared it with the couple and was perfectly polite by the sound of it.

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