'ADHD is the result of bad parenting?'

[porridgeisbae]

Does anyone here believe in that anymore? Admittedly I don't chat to many people outside of MN, but I hadn't even thought of that idea for a while- someone laid into me about it when I hadn't thought it was due to the parents for a moment in that discussion, I was just seeing it as a neurological difference.

I have some non-NT traits myself.

Does anyone here believe in that anymore?

I never did. There are plenty of arseholes out there though...

I think part of it was I was in quite a remote place for the day. I was brought up in a village and I do think some places take longer to get on the same page than say in cities or leftie internet forums etc.

But it's never been about bad parenting?

Yes it exists . You basically have to prove it’s not bad parenting before diagnosis.

you read it on MN on a regular basis . I wouldn’t allow my child do that .

ADHD is not the result of bad parenting!

However I would say some poor parenting/attachment difficulties/ behavioural problems leads to families seeking a diagnosis of ADHD or ASD to explain the difficulties, as addressing the real difficulty is likely to be painful.

Well, I imagine people who are not well versed in either childcare or neurodiversity won't be looking at the big picture.

For example, a neurodiverse child will be much harder to parent than a typical child. Parents will need to use consistent strategies and be really on their game to help their child navigate the world to the best of their ability. So an excellent parent will have to work twice as hard with an ADHD kid to get certain behaviours nailed.

But if a parent is ill equipt, lazy or inconsistent this will be more apparent in a Nd child than a neurotypical child. Hence this is why people think bad parenting causes ADHD. It does not, but it's obviously more noticeable when they are parented badly and people with no knowledge of Sen will interpret it incorrectly. Particularly if they are from the generation where Sen was either being excluded from mainstream education or having it beat or bullied into submission.

EXCUSE ME?! How about not posting ableist shite while you're about it?

Do you have a comprehension problem, do you believe ADHD is caused by bad parenting?

I think it is in part due to poor attachment. Burt then I share that view with notable child development experts and psychotherapists like Gabor Maté.

The poor attachment happens when parents don't connect sufficiently with their children at critical developmental stages - but this can be down to unavoidable factors such as illness, depression, wrap-around childcare.

Interestingly, there's no evidence of ADHD existing, except for a list of behaviours that have been clustered together under the label ADHD.

But it's never been about bad parenting?

@highlandspooce I know, I mean that that is an outmoded view that probably in the past more people unfortunately held.

ADHD is not the result of bad parenting!

However I would say some poor parenting/attachment difficulties/ behavioural problems leads to families seeking a diagnosis of ADHD or ASD to explain the difficulties, as addressing the real difficulty is likely to be painful.

This 100%!

One of my children does have ADHD. He's textbook and we've known since he was age 2 ish. Other child is neurotypical. However, ADHD child is not naughty, is well spoken, polite and kind. Medication is literally life changing and whilst he's on his meds he's just like his sister - when he's coming off them, he can be scatty, loud, disorganised, emotional, melt downing over nothing etc etc. Literally like a switch isn't being controlled in his head. His paed is delighted with his progress on his mediation, as are school as he can now focus. His work is now coming on leaps and bounds.

I have a 'friend' who simply has a badly behaved child. Swears. No respect for anything or anyone. Honestly, nothing that a decent dose of decent parenting wouldn't sort out. He's a badly behaved, entitled little so and so. She won't hear a word of it (not one other place thinks he has ADHD, she's adamant he simply is 'masking' ) and is pushing and pushing for an ADHD diagnosis. NHS have said he doesn't have it. She's now paying to get that diagnosis.

I asked my paed about this and tbh she said it's becoming quite common.

However, whilst the ADHD medication works amazingly on my child as he does have ADHD, it will simply have the opposite effect on someone who doesn't have it.

So she said the parents will find out the hard way.

No, I don't. But the post I replied to used offensive, ableist language. H t h.

My mother in laws like this. Which I find bizarre as she was a SEN teacher. But she still calls Scope the “spastic society” because that’s what it was called when she worked for them. She had very old fashioned views for someone who was involved in that field for such a long time. I’m a mental health nurse and she just doesn’t believe I’m a real nurse and that any of these conditions exist. Which is a real shame as my husband is a textbook ADHD kid 🤣

Interestingly, there's no evidence of ADHD existing, except for a list of behaviours that have been clustered together under the label ADHD

That is true for all psychiatric diagnoses. Do you think there is no evidence for schizophrenia either, because it’s just a collection of symptoms?

That’s not true. There a lot of psychiatric conditions that can be evidenced by MRI imaging and other physiological signs.

As a ND mum of ND kids, yep, lots of people believe this, and a lot of them reside on MN.

If I had a pound every time I read an anecdote about someone they know who is desperate for an ADHD diagnosis because then they can stop trying to parent their feral kid… I’d be rich.

I think Gabor Mate is probably somewhat fringe. I would go on what the NHS and other nation's health organizations say.

Virtually every diagnosis (especially mental health or neurodiversity) is a collection of symptoms. The labels help consultants try and treat issues.

The attachment idea is interesting though, but I'dve thought would more result in emotional issues (not that ADHD doesn't include those too of course.)

My parents were quite left wing and maybe let me do and say a lot of things as a child, but on the other hand my upbringing probably was far from the worst.

Great post

This

Some people are quick to label their child as having adhd rather than implementing boundaries and good parenting.

However, adhd isn’t the result of poor parenting, and is a separate condition.

It's not helpful to ignore context, you're upset with the wrong person.

While most no longer believe that poor parenting causes ADHD, most people still believe that it’s only laziness, obstinance and poor parenting that causes children with ADHD to struggle behaviourally and academically.