The thing is the brain is a very complex thing and we have all these ‘experts’ wading in with their theories, these go in and out of fashion and opinions change. No one really knows all the complexities of the human brain, it’s capabilities and subtle differences. Theses conditions have been given a label but they are far more varied and misunderstood than we know at this stage.
It’s impossible to say for sure one way or the other and there will always be huge variables.
There is a lot of empathise on ACES, attachment and westernised parenting. You have to remember that these are popular right now but something else will come along and some ‘expert’ will claim this and that. Anyone with a basic level of critical thinking can work out that you will find arguments for and against for every single thing. Attachment is a very westernised problem. As is aces. Yet it’s trotted out and people shrug when presented with counter arguments or children who don’t quite fit that narrative.
Parenting, attachment, child development etc etc is my bag. It’s my day in day out. I have done this job for a long time. Anecdotal as it is what I have professionally observed in a vast range of people, backgrounds, cultures, economic conditions, is that children living in the most chaotic, abusive, neglectful households do not show more symptoms of adhd than children from nurturing, consistent, attentive and attuned households. I see a lot of trauma but this presents in many many different ways. Often children from above mentioned families are exceptionally well behaved and mature beyond their years. Despite trauma I see children thrive and often seemingly unaffected to the degree they would get a diagnosis. Of course there are situations I see with multi generational trauma but these again don’t produce children with adhd. Who decides what is ‘good enough’ parenting and who decides their way is better? ( obvious abuse/neglect not included)
All we do know is that we have children and adults who struggle with symptoms and we need to find the tools that help. It doesn’t matter what causes this, what matters is what we do to support those who need it. You will never completely get rid of poor parenting, trauma, abuse. You will never get rid of genetic neurological conditions. So why do we argue about this instead of plowing our energy into making life better for those who need it.
As it happens I’d consider myself to be a pretty decent parent given my career and associated knowledge. I have a child with asc and possible adhd. I have adhd myself. I have managed to do well in education, I have degrees, I’m married and live in an expensive home. I have friends and family and maintain them well. I suffered low level 80s neglect but my childhood on the whole was probably good enough.