'ADHD is the result of bad parenting?'

[porridgeisbae]

Does anyone here believe in that anymore? Admittedly I don't chat to many people outside of MN, but I hadn't even thought of that idea for a while- someone laid into me about it when I hadn't thought it was due to the parents for a moment in that discussion, I was just seeing it as a neurological difference.

I have some non-NT traits myself.

Stop what exactly?

I think some parents use it as a label to excuse their badly behaved children that arent diagnosed with it.

Rather than deal with the behaviour they use it as an excuse.

These are kids that dont have ADHD, but the parents are pushing for diagnosis.

Actual ADHD I cant comment, but unfortunately they get tarnished by the behaviour of these other parents.

This.

Too many parents say their kids have ADHD when actually it's just bad behaviour, thisngives kids with actual ADHD a bad rep.

I'm in my mid 40s and as middle class as they come. My parents were extremely supportive and encouraging when I grew up. I gained a degree with a lot of support and I did exercise several times a week but that didn't exhaust the adhd out of me. I was diagnosed at the age of 40 and it was a bloody relief!

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/315884#ADHD-brains-smaller-overall-and-in-certain-regions

This is in response to the poster who said that there was no physical diagnosis tool.

I spent much of DD's early childhood musing that had she been born in hunter-gatherer times, or Viking, or Spartan or literally almost any other time in human history, many of her traits would have been lauded and useful. She is adventurous, stoic, strong, assertive, hard-working and feels no pain. Our genetics show that we were some the first people over the hill to elsewhere and our family is all over the world. ADHD and the wanderlust gene are linked.

Post-industrial sitting down and shutting up is the issue. My DD isn't.

She is however kind, a good friend and is no longer the management issue she was at 5. She sleeps (a bit) now. She has strategies for making sure things get done. But she doesn't suit the world as it exists. Fortunately, my excellent parenting has helped.

Gabor Mate can fuck off with the attachment, eye contact bullshit. I was a BFing, ever present, no cry to sleep, mashing fresh vegetables, never put her down, goddess.

This! I am the crunchiest of mums and DC both have ADHD. I actually think it's starting school so early that's the real issue.

I think Gabor Mate was full of shit. That's my theory.

Yep, agree. He’s an egotistical showman with the ethics to match. One look at the public diagnosis he gave Prince Harry tells us all we need to know. Not credible.

I parented all my 3 children the same. My DD was a perfect child, sweet, considerate, highly academic, very popular, good at sports and drama. My 2 son's were like tornados spinning through life causing chaos. They could not sit still, spoke without having a filter, dug bits of plaster out the walls, especially in their bedrooms, cut things, damaged things. Eventually I took eldest to GP and referred to consultant. Given diagnosis of ADHD put on medication and was like a different child. Calmer, listening to me, able to concentrate. My eldest child went up from bottom groups (5) for everything to group 2 within about 7 months. His test scores thrippled. Same with second son but he was seen by consultant earlier. After going through puberty and leaving school both sons chose to stop taking the drugs. Both have jobs and buying their own homes. My DD got a 50 percent scholarship to a good independent school. Now DD's eldest son, who I always suspected of having ADHD as she could not ever keep him still, has been formally diagnosed with ADHD. It turns out my DD was a carrier.

I don't believe that ADHD is caused by bad parenting.
I do know that there is a significant grey area that falls between organic neurodivergent presentations, and the presentation that we see in children who have experienced developmental trauma. Children who grow up in an environment of fear, instability, DV, parental mental ill health etc etc, are hardwired to be hypervigilant, to struggle with focus, learning, calming and invariably sleep. For this reason, there are clear patterns and clusters of children who present with traits of neurodiversity in areas with a demographic of economic difficulties, transient populations etc etc.

Hence the link that is often made between 'difficult' families and high levels of ADHD.

I don't think ADHD is caused by bad parenting, but I think bad parenting can make it worse, or cause symptoms that are similar to ADHD.

I'm sorry but as a parent of a child with Autism, this is HIGHLY offensive!!!!

Legitimate ADHD cases, absolutely not down to bad parenting. Unfortunately thanks to Google and the opportunity to claim disability benefits for it, there are parents out there that play the system for a diagnosis and use ADHD as an excuse for bad behaviour. Stick a label on it and that's that. When I was in school I only remember one pupil in my school with it and it was blindingly obvious that he had it. Now every other kid apparently has it.

@SkandiSkando even things like too much TV and divorced parents contribute

What a load of absolute NONSENSE that you've just made up yourself! Reported

I have a child with diagnosed Autism (no, I didn't drink whilst pregnant!) and I've found it incredibly offensive.

My sons is caused by an issue with his 17th chromosome not to do with attachment, alcohol or bad parenting. Have had plenty of judgement on it though.

What is mufti???

Some people definitely have ot.Lots of kids are diagnosed with it who don't have it though.

As evidenced on the recent BBC documentary

Then I will look into a private prescription. Can't afford to take it every day,

@RoseRobot It's worth taking it properly. After a few months of the private consultant getting you on the right dose for you, they can write to your GP and after that your GP should continue prescribing it at NHS prices.

@RoseRobot The dementia thing, he mainly was trying to discourage me from drinking at all, as it interacts with my bipolar meds and reduces their efficacy.

And he described drinking while having ADHD as sticking a knife into an open wound.

I didn't stop drinking (I think that's easy for someone who comes from a culture which doesn't involve alcohol to say) but I cut down a lot. I do feel much less groggy and exhausted.

The documentary followed the story of one (adult) man - where was the evidence of children being misdiagnosed?
That's quite a big claim

Wouldn't Google be your friend here?

The people who had been employed in such places said virtually everybody was diagnosed.