To be devastated

[Bagpuss2022]

I know it sounds melodramatic and I have actually cried over this.
my DH had a day off on Monday he sorted out our unit in the living room. He didn’t tell me he was doing this by the way or would of told him what not to chuck.
He's gone and thrown away a A3 folder of all the kids special bits from school you know the kind the nursery ones with the handprints and that poem. There first mothers days cards y6 leaving certificates with photos on etc. I am ruthless and only ever keep the very special bits
we have 3 Dc oldest 22 youngest 13 so it’s not like I’m going to get anything like that again.
He said he thought it was just junk I know
he's not as sentimental as me but come on he could of least checked with me.
He thinks I’m being silly and is now in a mood with me

For those asking I did call the recycling centre they said no chance of finding it as all the recycling goes into one huge container from all the recycling refuse bins for the whole city.
I'm still really upset but not so angry anymore there’s no point carrying a grudge I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose but I’m still very disappointed with his reaction.
I have spent the weekend going through all my iCloud over 19 thousand photos still not got through them all and I have managed to find quite a few of our two youngest not much of our 22 year old it’s not the same but at least it’s something I’m going to make a photo book with what I find.
Thanks for all the supportive posts

In what way?

Sorry you've had no luck finding them and the photo book sounds like a lovely idea.

I am curious as I'm sure others will also be to know how you decided and came to the conclusion he didn't do it on purpose though? Did he offer any logical reason to suggest he didn't know what was in the folders despite them being in the house for so long or why he didn't look to see what they were before throwing them away? I would be mindful that it wasn't actually an accident and if you were my friend I would caution you to look for other situations where he didn't think your views, items or opinions were worth having.

I’d be beyond furious, definitely not unreasonable.

I'm not fussed about things like this, but I Still think your OH is being a bit of a dick.

Firstly, given the ages of your children now, did it not cross his mind that they'd probably been kept that long because you actually wanted to keep them?
Secondly, he doesn't get to tell you what you can be upset about.

Great update x a photo book sounds like a fab idea x

m of course he didn’t do it deliberately, I’m also sure his reaction was anger and frustration at himself…. I get defensive when I mess up and react angrily, apologise later and feel awful, but my anger is with myself but it doesn’t come out that way always.

Hopefully he’ll ask in future… a good lesson learnt

I am petty enough that i would hide his bag collection, wait for him to realise theyre not there, then say they were just junk i chucked them. Then say i have no idea why you are upset over that old junk, andhi will not speak to you until you stop being upset about it.
Idbonly give them back once i got my point across and he apologised sincerely, or we divorced as hes clearly a sociopath if he genuinely feels no remorse.

I'm sorry but he sounds like an absolute d*ck. You should give him a taste of his own medicine and throw his football shop bags out, or maybe just pretend you have to make him sweat, see how he likes it.

My mum threw away all my childhood stuff, school papers and things I’d made, when I was at university. I was really upset and angry and 20 years later it still makes me sad sometimes that I don’t have any school reports or anything I made as a child or my first ballet shoes.

The reason I’m still sad after all this time is that my mum didn’t seem to give a shit about my feelings and came up with an excuse to defend herself. They were in a cupboard and took up very little space - if she’d apologised then my upset and anger wouldn’t have lasted so long.

I have gone the other way and kept far too much of my dc’s things! I do have a clear out every now and then and my dh knows never to touch those boxes!!

I'd be so upset. Dh has 'sorted' stuff while I've been away before but hadn't mentioned anything so months later I'd be looking for something and I haven't been able to find it. I went berserk and he hasn't done it again but I'm still wary when I go away. He has loads of 'rubbish' that he hasn't looked at for years and I've told him if he wants to sort stuff out he should start with his! I'd never throw anything of his away without asking first and I expect the same respect from him.

Yeah. Put him in the bin.
That would never happen here. Nothing gets chucked. I think of my poor children going through the stuff after I've gone.