To be devastated

[Bagpuss2022]

I know it sounds melodramatic and I have actually cried over this.
my DH had a day off on Monday he sorted out our unit in the living room. He didn’t tell me he was doing this by the way or would of told him what not to chuck.
He's gone and thrown away a A3 folder of all the kids special bits from school you know the kind the nursery ones with the handprints and that poem. There first mothers days cards y6 leaving certificates with photos on etc. I am ruthless and only ever keep the very special bits
we have 3 Dc oldest 22 youngest 13 so it’s not like I’m going to get anything like that again.
He said he thought it was just junk I know
he's not as sentimental as me but come on he could of least checked with me.
He thinks I’m being silly and is now in a mood with me

What he did was very wrong, but his reaction to your distress is disgusting.

Chuck his carrier bags.

Only half joking.

He keeps old carrier bags from his football team shop I think they are junk and stupid keeping but would never get rid as they obviously important to him.

Go and chuck them now. And when he gets upset, get in a mood with him because it's just junk.

You don't have to be the mature one.

I'm afraid his stupid football bags would have gone straight in the fire if he'd done that with my precious memories! What a hypocrite, he saves old bags, but doesn't see why you're upset at him throwing away years worth of memories from your children's growing up years. Grrr! This sort of thing makes my blood boil. What would it have cost him to put the things where you would both see them, and then when you noticed them, you would have asked why they were out, and he could have checked whether you wanted to keep them. Selfish sod!

I get ya your allowed to be upset - To me its not sentimental but then other things are to me. Is there anyway you can get it back ?
On another note, My mother in law kept everything my husbands did, we now have three large boxes of stuff in the attic that he has done since he was 5 to finished school. He is nearly 50 years of age 🙄🤐

I would be so upset

I'd be proper gutted, YANBU.
He could at least show some empathy and apologise.

What a knobhead. I’d be trying to contact the council waste department to see if there was any chance at all they can locate it. Might sound ridiculous but it’s in a large folder and recyclable waste isn’t mushed up like normal bins, much of it is hand sorted.

My friend took photos of all her children’s artwork and random models of stuff, and had one of those printed photo books made. She then binned all the stuff. I’ve been meaning to do this for years.

I'd be SO upset. Clearly he hasn't meant to do it to upset you, but I'd at least want some understanding of why you are do devastated about it. If he had been genuinely apologetic then fine -still shit but it's done now. Him stropping about in a sulk would make me furious on top of upset (and give me the major ick)

That's awful of him!

Used the football carrier bags for lining the bathroom bin

Yanbu I'd be upset at this too

I'm not 100% convinced he didn't do it on purpose to be honest given how long they had, had the folder and his reaction to OP finding out he had thrown it away.

Definitely chuck out his carrier bags.

Not for throwing out your kids stuff, but for not having the good grace to allow you to be upset about it.

My mother threw away all my university lecture notes, without asking me if I still wanted them, although she knew she would see me and could have handed them over in 3 weeks. I was devastated, in the true sense of the word, as it devalued all the work I had put in - and they were very good notes!
However, I got my revenge by asking where my O-level, A-level, degree and postgrad certificates were, which made her panic totally, as she thought she had thrown them out as well.
She hadn't.
I had them.
She ended up writing to my old school (one of the oldest girls' schools in the country) claiming there had been a fire! There was never a fire and I only knew about this because my oldest school friend told me.

Nope, I'd be devastated too. Complete dick thing for him to do. So what if they aren't important to him? Completely besides the point. They had been kept for all those years for a reason.

He'll be in a huff because he's embarrassed he messed up after putting himself out there and trying to do some tidying, which he didn't even manage to do without causing drama. So that's why he's now feeling sorry for himself and in a huff.

Obv binning his junk carrier bags will just escalate things. But that's just bloody annoying that he keeps crap like that which you respect, even though you don't understand why a carrier bag means so much to him, and he can't extend the same courtesy to you.

Hopefully he calms down soon and apologises for his mistake.

I'd have been heartbroken too. YANBU at all.

@FelicityFlops - my dad threw away all my maths A-level revision notes before results day so I had no idea whether or not I'd passed because I had really, really struggled and was sure I'd have to resit. I did pass, thankfully, God knows how, but I was absolutely beside myself when I realised he'd chucked them all. So was he, to be fair!

I'd be fuming, especially as they were in a folder so had obviously been stored to keep.

No, I would be absolutely gutted.

I would be so upset 😢

I'd be upset. I mean it surely was obvious that they were old things your children had done and you said you were ruthless about only keeping special bits so I don't get why it wouldn't occur to someone that they were being kept for a reason.

His reaction though is horrible. If I accidentally did something like that I'd be upset at causing upset in my partner.

I would be really upset too. YANBU.

Yup I think if you're upset, rather than defend himself he shd take that on board amd be apologetic, sympathetic, upset that he's upset you, I think its called "loving".

My dh can be like that, rationalising rather than listening.
Has he got some trophies you can stamp on?

I was sad for you when I read you first post, but was raging when I read your update about the football carrier bags. I'm not a vindictive person at all but I would hide his precious plastic junk, tell him I'd thrown it away, and watch his reaction.

Why on earth?! Surely he looked and saw what he was chucking away?! You'd obviously kept them for sentimental reasons.