To be devastated

[Bagpuss2022]

I know it sounds melodramatic and I have actually cried over this.
my DH had a day off on Monday he sorted out our unit in the living room. He didn’t tell me he was doing this by the way or would of told him what not to chuck.
He's gone and thrown away a A3 folder of all the kids special bits from school you know the kind the nursery ones with the handprints and that poem. There first mothers days cards y6 leaving certificates with photos on etc. I am ruthless and only ever keep the very special bits
we have 3 Dc oldest 22 youngest 13 so it’s not like I’m going to get anything like that again.
He said he thought it was just junk I know
he's not as sentimental as me but come on he could of least checked with me.
He thinks I’m being silly and is now in a mood with me

I remember very little of my ds's childhood, so having "bits of paper" is like a mental nudge.

My husband 'forgot' to send the newborn photos of our son ( born early so pics in the operating theatre and for the first 5 days of his life) to anyone...Not one was uploaded, not one shared.

and then his phone broke.

We've never been able to get those photos.

I have no photos at all of my child when he was born. Not one.

So I understand how you're feeling.

If someone told me they were devastated (not just upset or angry at their DH, but truly devastated) over this, I would assume there’s probably a reason that memories really mean a lot to them. And sure enough, that is the case. OP has already explained that she had a horrific childhood, so keeping these mementos from her children was quite important. Then of course it’s natural to be devastated. People saying, “I thought it was something serious,” are being quite unkind. No one has the right to judge your feelings about this @Bagpuss2022 ; I imagine it’s attached to a lot of feelings, about how you saved these things because you wanted mementos of your children having a childhood that was so much better than yours, and it’s mixed with all the memories you don’t have or don’t want from your own.

And I do think it’s particularly wrong for DH to have a mood with you over you being upset. Is he someone who doesn’t like to apologize? Because just about any normal human would just fucking apologize when they hurt someone else, especially someone they loved; it’s not rocket science. And the fact he has objects he’s sentimental over makes it particularly ridiculous that he refuses to apologize and instead is “in a mood” with you. I would find it VERY difficult not to throw out some of his carrier bags and say they were “just junk.” I think you’re actually doing very well at handling this.

I would be
devastated !
fuming !
upset !

What a prat!

I kept the children because I liked them but threw the other stuff out as I don't like the clutter.

So you are the one who is factually incorrect. And wrong as well.

😂😂😂

'Factually correct. And wrong as well'. (Just to be sure)

Stop being insulting by calling people names & telling them they are cracked 🤷🏻‍♀️

No point in trying to discuss it reasonably with you, clearly.

Another perspective on it may help.

I have some bits my child made at primary school and I treasure them, however, my child died so that is when the story ends.

I know you are upset and I understand it but your children will produce new souvenirs and hopefully a lifetime of them.

Take lots of photos and videos, trust me, you will be pleased that you have so much to look back on. 🙂

Er, you've told me I'm cracked several times. That's not offensive?

You've called another poster a fool.

You're not feeling quite right are you?

As for facts, I don't think you're remotely interested in them so no point in me wasting more time on that.

It's possible to make your point wit it being gratuitously insulting.

All the vibes, OP, you're not being silly at all. But this is just going to have to be another funny story to tell the kids when they are grown - and there's time for new memories and a better place to store them.

(I remember the day after I left home to go to uni a big box turned up in the post - my stepmother had packed up every single little thing she could find of mine in the house, including childhood drawings, and sent it on - I guess as a message not to come back. I just threw it all out.)

Ugh, the fact that he’s refusing to apologise and is now in a mood with you, makes him a prick.

He keeps old carrier bags from his football team shop I think they are junk and stupid keeping but would never get rid as they obviously important to him.

^ I’d want to go and throw that load of old shit out to make myself feel better.

Your poor children! My daughter is so
proud of her creations. Did yours end up
in therapy?

I’d be upset too and even more upset if he didn’t get what he did was so wrong.

Is that a joke?

Totally this. Stupid selfish uncaring arse.

Football bags indeed.

Oh my goodness. I would be really upset too.

@Bagpuss2022 I’d be devastated too. I’d find the most precious thing of his and throw it out. What a bastard.
My DH is still upset at 50 that his mother threw his teddies away one day. She’s an absolute bitchcunt though, we all hate her.

We have a stack of things from DD and I know some of it can’t be kept but I’d hate to have nothing at all.

@sheldonia

Not going to keep up a pointless exchange that's derailing OP's thread.

However, here's a selection of your comments to me & other posters, they are rude and belligerent.

some crazed loon went apeshit at me for my polite opinion!

literally are what you habe in your mind, you fool.

Get over yourself! How fucking rude are you?

So yes, you are cracked?

Could you maybe stop imagining things in posts to get mad about? Its fucking weird.

I mean ...🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’t worry @EarringsandLipstick we are all quietly observing that poster’s awful conduct

If I'm going to pass off facts as facts I must expect to be challenged? Is that how AIBU works?

It is fact that memories are what you keep in your brains (such as they are). Do you need a dictionary to look up the word memory?