I don't want my child to go to her leavers party.

[Ijustdunnoanymore]

The parents of my child have organised a leavers party extravaganza. The problem I have however is that nearly (not quite all - some have been nice) all the parents involved have been absolutely horrible towards me over the course of this year. I am a fairly new parent and thats the main reason for their venom. If my child goes I have to stay too and hang out with these people. Do I let my child go and put up with it OR do I not and show her that bullies shouldnt always win?

RTFT.

(and no, I don't mean full)

🤔Y6 is a funny year - particularly if this is a private school or a feeder for a good/desirable school...parents can get very....weird

Ignore them all. But go to the party.

It would obviously be 100% selfish not to let her go though. Hopefully that helps you make the right decision. I hope it goes nice and smoothly for you, but you need to do the right thing.

@Ijustdunnoanymore

its your daughters leaving party, not yours. This isn't about what you want. It's about facilitating a memorable event in your daughters life. It's a 'right if passage' to celebrate leaving primary to go to senior school.

you just need to get on with it.

You can't make your child miss her leavers' party because you don't like the parents of other children. That'll not show her that bullies don't always win. That'll show her that your wants are more important than hers.

I think you should go.

Eh @GeriKellmansUpdo ? Me or the parents?

You havnt explained in what way these parents bully you? If you don’t make things clear people here will judge that YABU so you need to give a better overall picture

Could you take a dp with you? I think it's something you have to do unfortunately for you. But I know that horrible feeling of anxiety, I had a phobia going into the school after a woman harassed me repeatedly. I'd take my dp if I could, or some airpods just in case. Try and find a nice person on the edge or a teacher to talk to. And just think it will only be for an hour or two.

I feel for you OP. However, I think it would be really sad for her to miss her leavers party, it's a rite of passage and something that is an important memory. What I don't understand is why you have to stay? I've never heard of that before and certainly didn't stay for either of my children's leavers events. Or any events for that matter unless I was helping out. So who is insistent? The school or the unpleasant parents? I'd just contact school and say you have a prior engagement but will be there to collect her t the end. I wouldn't want to sit there either.

My thoughts exactly.

There is no edit on mumsnet

I am finding it hard to believe that an entire class of parents has decided to be venomous towards one parent for no apparent reason. And as pp said, there are a lot of these kinds of posts on MN.
IRL, it's best not to take schoolmate relationships too seriously. Smile, nod, do what you have to do.

But you can post again and rephrase it.

Does your child want to go? If the answer is yes, then it would be a shame to make her miss it because of your relationships with some of the parents. These things matter a lot to kids. It's a few hours over one night, just go and suck it up and if anyone acts like an arse either stand up for yourself or walk away.

Why would you have to stay? Can't your DDs dad or a grandparent take her if you really don't want to? It's unfair for her to miss out but there are work arounds if you don't want to be the one to take her!

A number of options

1. Say yes, then on the day drop her off and say that unfortunately you can't stay, something has just come up and you need to deal with it.(e.g need emergency electrician/plumber , etc.)
2. Question the necessity of mandatory parental attendance
3. If DDs father is able to, let him take her
4. Go, and have something to do when you get there (laptop, book, etc), or seek out the people you haven't seen before.

Ultimately this is an event for your DD and nor for you. As an adult, you can model how to behave when compelled to spend time in the company of people who you'd rather not.

Thank you thats very kind of you to say.

Thank you for all you thoughts and advice.
Theres some very interesting points raised. I dont remember having such issues when my eldest children went through year 6. Obviously now I have had a bit mroe time to think about it all it would be unkind for her not to go. Cinderella shall go. For the record though one selfish thought (in this case me considering my own feelings over this) does not necessarily a selfish person make......Anxiety can cripple rational thoughts.....Yes it would have been silly of me not to let her go which is probably why I asked on here...perhaps I knew it was a stupid idea but wanted to run it past folk. Anyway thanks for those who worded their views in a nice way. I have taken them on board.

Has the OP clarified how she's a new parent yet has two kids - one of whom has left year 6 and one in it?

It was a typo which I couldnt correct.

Just to clear things up. - Typo/error. I am not a new parent as such just only been at this school as a parent for less than a year. Have two older children.
Yes agree I have been unreasonable by even thinking my child shouldnt attend. Thanks again everyone who worded their opinions in a nice way. I needed a different perspective.