I don't want my child to go to her leavers party.

[Ijustdunnoanymore]

The parents of my child have organised a leavers party extravaganza. The problem I have however is that nearly (not quite all - some have been nice) all the parents involved have been absolutely horrible towards me over the course of this year. I am a fairly new parent and thats the main reason for their venom. If my child goes I have to stay too and hang out with these people. Do I let my child go and put up with it OR do I not and show her that bullies shouldnt always win?

Well then quote it and then correct it?

Can you send her with her dad or grandparents or even aunty etc

You are absolutely not unreasonable to not want to go and to be dreading it. You would be unreasonable to actually not go. I know it’s rubbish but your daughter will appreciate it and you’ll feel better knowing you did the right thing for your child.

Go and hold your head high. Don’t let your child miss out because of bullies. You’re better than them.

Surely you are a parent of your child?!

I totally understand how you will feeling about this, but it's one evening that you have to feel uncomfortable for your child. I would just bite my tongue and go with it.

I have attended many events over the years for the sake of my kids even when I have hated socialising with the parents and it has been hard, but I have done it because I don't want my child to feel that they have missed out because of me.

I would ask a nice parent to take her

There’s a lot of parents in an average class. Yes, some are trouble makers, some are on a power trip, some can be mean and unkind. But that will never be the whole class. There will also be:

Parents who work, never do the school run and don’t know anyone.

Quiet types who choose not to chat or get involved in school gate politics.

Decent, nice people who are just grinding through a kids disco for a couple of hours and are happy to pass the time of day.

Find one of these to talk to. I also guarantee there will be several parents who drop their kids and go, nobody will stop them.

Year 6 is nearly over, these people are nothing to you.

If your daughter wants to go, then go. If she doesn't, then don't.

Your feelings shouldn't be influencing her choice, even though I can understand why you're not looking forward to it.

Don't punish your daughter because some other grown ups haven't been very welcoming. You go, you take a book and sit in the car or you make boring small talk for a couple of hours. It won't kill you.

Does she want to go?

Why doesn’t dcs dad go instead of you.

So there are nice parents? I bet they’re even in the majority. Problem solved.

MN is full of people with few social skills and a perpetual disbelief that the whole world doesn’t embrace them with open arms.

I can't believe you are even contemplating this. If she wants to go, you go, irrespective of the parents antics.

Can you take a friend with you OP?

Go. Endure. Any chance there is a female pal you could take to keep you company?

Do you think this is just another part of their vicious game pressurising you to attend @Ijustdunnoanymore ? I'd be asking the nicer parents what they are doing, weigh it up and possibly ask someone else to take her

How about teaching your child that your feelings about other people have nothing to do with her enjoying herself?

Yes, feed the paranoia.

Your dd still has six weeks to go at the school, next time she sees her friends they will all be talking about the leavers party, she needs to have been there too. It’s not about you, it’s about her.

Did you mean to say "extremely unlikely"?

It’s not your daughter’s problem, it’s yours.

Put her first and let her go. Drop her off and collect her.

As a parent of 2 (now almost adults) and having changed schools a couple times I have had to go to a lot of school events that I would rather have not gone too, both of my dc have autism, the child that everyone talks about, the child that acts differently from the others, comes last at sports day and gets bullied. I didn’t really get on with many of the parents, my dc were not invited to parties unless it was out of curiosity (when they first started a school). I split with dh just before dd1’s leavers party, I felt everyone was judging me (small village primary), I never considered not going. I went for Dd and I went to celebrate her surviving primary school.

As parents we have to do things we don’t feel comfortable with….for our kids.

I hope you manage to go, if it’s outside then take a book, sit somewhere quiet out of the way. Take a friend with you if you can. It’s probably only a couple of hours out of your life and just think ‘after your dc has left you don’t have to speak to these people again’.

Can guarantee there will be other parents there who couldn't think of anything worst and are also dreading it, who you haven't met becasue they work and drop the kids and go to work. Introduce yourself to them and say "Hi I'm x, ys mum I haven't seen you around before, nice to meet you is z looking forward to moving to their new school?"

This confused me too...Is it a stepchild?

Does your child want to go? If so you suck it up for the 2 hours its on for. Its what many parents do.