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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To withdraw my child from school sports day

667 replies

MissHoollie · 24/05/2023 20:02

So my son age 7 has been upset for a few weeks about sports day and " always coming last"
None of us in the family are sporty and my other children " were always last " but they didn't mind at all and it almost became a family joke with them enjoying the fact it was a family tradition to be rubbish at sport
So my 7 year old is begging not to take part
We've done all the " it's fine ..someone has to be last in the races "
" You are good at other things "
" It's part of life "
But he's still loosing sleep over it all.
They've been practicing all week which is winding him up even more.
So it occurred to me , and this is where I need perspective.
Would schools parade kids out in order of best reader to worst for all the parents to applause the best reader? ,no of course not ,so why do schools do this?
Yes it's good to celebrate success but why is it so demoralising for some kids ?
Am I being unreasonable taking him out of school that day?
As I say looking for other perspectives

OP posts:
changewhale · 24/05/2023 20:03

You make a very good point. Perhaps schools should start parading the best at maths and science and reading.

Hankunamatata · 24/05/2023 20:06

Our school does have awards for reading and prizes.
Also monthly awards for best performances and improvements in weekly maths and English tests

Peacepudding · 24/05/2023 20:06

I wouldn't hesitate to keep a 7yo off if they were really upset about sports day.

SouthLondonMum22 · 24/05/2023 20:08

I can't imagine how many children it must put off sport and more importantly, exercise, for life.

Sports day should be about encouraging a love of sport and exercise which yes, should include some voluntary races for those children who want to race but also should include some fun activities too.

I would keep my child off that day if they didn't want to go with how sports day can be at some schools.

Jb2182 · 24/05/2023 20:08

Life is far too short for a seven year old to be worried about sports day. Book the day off work and take him for Ice cream somewhere ❤️

flumpalamp · 24/05/2023 20:09

Jb2182 · 24/05/2023 20:08

Life is far too short for a seven year old to be worried about sports day. Book the day off work and take him for Ice cream somewhere ❤️

Yup. Take the pressure off the wee guy asap

CuteAsDuck · 24/05/2023 20:09

My eldest has never been a big lover of sports day. He's an active child - plays out every day, swims, cycles and skateboards but he's not into competing.

He's always joined in on sports day but I know it's not his favourite. If ever he expressed that it was causing him that amount of anxiety I would absolutely take him out for the day.

Coming from the pov of knowing how stressed it made me as a child as well!

Take him out of school that day and do something nice.

SecretVictoria · 24/05/2023 20:09

Keep him off. I wish my parents had done the same.

fUNNYfACE36 · 24/05/2023 20:10

So do the poor readers get to opt out of reading or the poor mathematicians out of a maths test.teach him to grow some resilence

Wildlyboring · 24/05/2023 20:11

He's losing sleep and anxious, pull him out and take him to do something nice. My daughter is pretty sporty but has ASD and hates noise and people watching, Sports Day last year was excruciating to watch I could see her clawing at her neck and hair, and her teacher told me "not to make a fuss" when I asked her to check on her. No chance will that be happening this year she won't be put in that position for something so meaningless.

Anewuser · 24/05/2023 20:11

I’m assuming you’re prepared to take the next 11 years sports days off?

mummyof2boys30 · 24/05/2023 20:12

Yip we will be keeping DS off. He has strong chance of winning as hes very quick but has ASD and finds lack of routine too upsetting so he will have a day at home instead

SouthLondonMum22 · 24/05/2023 20:13

fUNNYfACE36 · 24/05/2023 20:10

So do the poor readers get to opt out of reading or the poor mathematicians out of a maths test.teach him to grow some resilence

They don't have to do a maths test in public with not only their peers watching them struggle but also many unfamiliar adults also watching.

It's not the same thing.

changewhale · 24/05/2023 20:14

Hankunamatata · 24/05/2023 20:06

Our school does have awards for reading and prizes.
Also monthly awards for best performances and improvements in weekly maths and English tests

That's great!

CuteAsDuck · 24/05/2023 20:14

fUNNYfACE36 · 24/05/2023 20:10

So do the poor readers get to opt out of reading or the poor mathematicians out of a maths test.teach him to grow some resilence

Of course they don't. But there is no expectation for children who struggle with literacy or maths to perform those tasks in competition in front of their peers parents and grandparents in order to 'win'. So it's not the same.

He's not getting taken out of PE.

changewhale · 24/05/2023 20:15

SouthLondonMum22 · 24/05/2023 20:13

They don't have to do a maths test in public with not only their peers watching them struggle but also many unfamiliar adults also watching.

It's not the same thing.

Show quote history

I agree

Peacepudding · 24/05/2023 20:15

fUNNYfACE36 · 24/05/2023 20:10

So do the poor readers get to opt out of reading or the poor mathematicians out of a maths test.teach him to grow some resilence

Poor readers don't have to read in front of loads of parents whilst they cheer on their more able readers

Wintry57 · 24/05/2023 20:15

Keep him off. Mine is missing sports day tomorrow - a chance to come last in everything, fall over and hurt themselves if they’re not lucky, whilst parents look on. Erm, I’ll pass!

NotmykingEatCake · 24/05/2023 20:16

100 percent keep him off.

Wintry57 · 24/05/2023 20:16

I did give them the chance but they had a very strong immediate ‘oh no I hate it, it’s really hard’ reaction and will just be very upset - who does that benefit?

viques · 24/05/2023 20:17

It is so sad to read this OP, it is really easy to make sports day a fun activity for all children by including varied activities that don’t rely on being the fastest runner, and by dividing children into inclusive teams across years. It takes a bit more organising, well a lot more organising - it used to be the highlight of our slightly anal HTs year, that and the parents evening timetables - but means everyone has fun.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 24/05/2023 20:17

I hated sports but loved dance, and my DD is the same. I wish they would think a bit more laterally.
In your position I don't think I'd have the guts to keep him off, but would want to.

Hbh17 · 24/05/2023 20:18

I hated sports day, and always came last, but no way would I have been pulled out. And now I'm glad about that, because it's about resilience. We're all rubbish at something and we need to accept it and get used to it. You'll just expose him to more derision by banging him and taking him out.

Amdecre · 24/05/2023 20:19

Speak to the teacher? It wouldn't bother me if a child in my class just didn't actually run in any races...

Hbh17 · 24/05/2023 20:20

That should say "babying him" - another failure from me, right there 😂

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