To not let other people feed my FF baby?

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MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

Seems a bit OTT to never let anyone else do it.

@alqoam ok fair enough!

I breastfed but expressed milk so others could help me out with feeds.

I really love eating cake but I give other people a slice too.

its all about what you feel comfortable with and I think a lot of mothers angst over things like this when its actually fine to say no and feel what you feel about your own baby

Perfectly normal to let others give a bottle; I hope your partner does.

Is your own mum allowed to feed baby? If she is, its not fair that MIL isn't.

Do you mean specifically not your mil, or anyone at all including the child's father?

How old is your child? In the first weeks, it is recommended that you limit the number of people who ff. If you're having issues binding, they also recommend the same.

That said, if they are a wee bit older, it's worth letting go a tiny little bit as it can make life easier

Yes i think you are being a bit ott.

I promise with baby number 2 you'll be throwing the baby at whoever will take it

I think it's a shame not to let anyone else do it, my sister and parents really loved the opportunity to feed my son when he was a baby and thanks to COVID they didn't get that many chances to do it. It doesn't take anything away from your special relationship with your child to let someone else feed them.

Bit ott to have a problem with other people feeding your baby. It's only 1 feed out of the thousands you will do.

That’s weird.

Do you suffer with anxiety?

How old is your baby. My thoughts on this would be different for a tiny newborn than a slightly older baby.

I think feeding is a lovely experience, it’s not surprising other people want to do it too. However if Your baby is still newborn/very young I wouldn’t feel bad about wanting to do that aspect of care yourself.

I had the opposite issue that my breastfedbabt wouldn’t take a bottle, so no one else could feed him.

maybe you could suggest other things MIl could do that would be helpful. Eg ask her to take baby for a walk while you have a bath. So you can direct her to something she might enjoy that is also helpful. I kind of feel that with small babies guests/friends/family should be helpful and focus almost as much on supporting the parent as much as just wanting to have a cuddle with the baby.

How old is baby? If she's six months old and granny has never had the chance to feed her then maybe a bit mean! I know what you mean though. I used to hate it when my mil would barge me out of the way to push the pram also on the guise of being helpful when actually I felt weird and uncomfortable not having hold of it in the very early days. Once they were a bit older then I was happy to let her crack on!

Your baby so your choice but I think you're being ridiculously precious and will look back at this with embarrassment

You'll be doing the majority of them surely it's a nice thing to let her do one if she's visiting. I used to love being asked to feed my nieces when they were baby's & i know my parents did too.

Do you allow anyone else to feed the baby?

Oh totally get this! The baby is your baby and you want to feed them! It's a funny feeling, you want a break and 5mins to yourself but you also can't imagine someone else feeding your child 🤣

do whatever feels right for you OP xx

I get this too OP. Did you want to breastfeed and struggled? This was me. I hated not being able to breastfeed and carried so much guilt I really hated seeing other people ff her, not so much her dad but MIL and my parents. It took a lot of internalising my want to scream and cry when MiL was feeding her. I never stopped her as I knew it was a nice thing for the pair of them to do, and she didn’t do it a lot. And as time went on it got easier.

It's one of the reasons why we decided to formula feed, the thought of being the only one able to feed him overwhelmed me and filled me with dread.

It's a real advantage of formula feeding to me.

This, I suppose. Plenty here will encourage total me-ism on the baby front but I'm not that way inclined so I think you're being possessive. Baby has two parents I assume...and grandparents too?
Or is just mil that's not allowed?

I've literally just come home with my newborn. The midwife who came to chat to me and sign her off before I left actually said to me that it's important that it's just me and DH who feed her for the first week at least so she associates us with food and comfort. Congratulations OP x

Seems mean.

In other words, you don't like your MIL, and you don't want her around your baby. Just say that then.