To not let other people feed my FF baby?

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MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

So mum and dad don’t go out together without the baby for 6 months? Really? In what world? And for what possible reason?

Tiny baby only my partner or I did it. Mostly me. When older grandparents occasionally but rarely. It was definitely a bonding thing for me. No one asked to give a bottle though.

It's not a rule. Its just something OP has decided she wants to do.

Reading your replies, you’re not being unreasonable.

Totally agree. Everything is so called 'baby led' at the minute at the expense of the mother.
Even people claiming mothers now need to do every formula feed for the first X amount of weeks or your baby will never bond with you! I'm pretty sure millions of babies have been ocasionally fed by a grandparent, friend, aunt/uncle and haven't suffered life long bonding problems because of it.

Motherhood is being made much harder.

I mean we did it but there was all that lock down shit

I imagine because they don’t want to be away from the baby….

Which is 100% understandable and absolutely fine.

If you don’t want to then don’t. You don’t need to justify it.

the only thing I would say is try not to hang onto the judgemental comments she’s made about not BF, for your own sake.

I agree.

I was back to work at 3 months so I was glad he was used to others feeding him by that point.

My husband and I also enjoyed going out for dinner etc without him too.

Think it’s pretty normal family wanting to help feed- it’s like a cuddle with the baby.
I think you’re letting other feelings, re.bf or your mil, cloud your opinion on this.

Yes it is. But she specifically detailed her choice and put it to a poll on a public website. Consequently she invited opinion about her choice, thus the commenter is giving her opinion and these threads continue to thrive 😁

I mean, you're not unreasonable to feel how you feel. However, my DC3 won't take a bottle and I'd give anything for someone else to be able to feed him and give me a break, so I can't relate!

DD was combi fed and noone other than me or DH fed DD her bottles with the exception of maybe twice when she was 4 months+ and her grandparents had her while I was at appointments etc.
We wanted to do this because it encourages bonding with the primary caregivers and it was our preference.
It made us happy and did her no harm. Family still got lots of cuddles and time with her

I think the reference to a rule was “advice” that someone mentioned that only parents feed baby initially.

It’s really no big deal. YABVU.

Well... biologically speaking that's completely normal. We are a "carry species" - our babies are meant to go everywhere with us at first! I get that this doesn't translate well into modern society but it is biological fact even if we find it inconvenient.

You sound like you just don’t like your MIL tbh, which is fair enough, but she is your child’s Granny and they might like her.

It’s cruel to not let someone feed their grandchild for no real reason when they would clearly love to and it would do no harm whatsoever.

Someone in my family wouldn’t let anyone else feed their bottle fed baby because she was upset that she couldn’t breastfeed, nothing to do with disliking anyone. We all thought it was a bit ridiculous and precious, and even if she didn’t want everyone to do it, she could have allowed particularly special people like grandparents.

I agree @MyTruthIsOut

I exclusively breastfed and baby's Dad went on and on and on about could his Mum give baby a bottle (not him funnily enough hahahaha!!!!) He was going on under the guise it would make life easier for me that I could leave the baby at his mums when in reality I knew that bottle feeding would leave me making up bottles all night when I really didn't want to and I hate doing dishes so the idea of making bottles up sounded a nightmare, for me breastfeeding was just easier.
If any Mum wants to limit who gives their baby a bottle then respect that instead of dragging them down. There's a million other ways for extended family to bond with baby.

If you don't let her feed the baby she's highly unlikely to expect you to allow her to change their nappy.

How old is baby?

One of the best things about baby seeing grandparents is them giving you a break, even when you're in the same room

I totally get this and think you're perfectly reasonable. As you say if you breastfed it would be you.

Modern society pushes this idea that caring for your baby is somehow awful and you should appreciate things that apparently make your life easier.

I combi fed at the beginning due to necessity. I struggled with giving my DD formula and breastfeeding grief. I hated other people giving her formula top ups. It had to be me. Would it have made my life easier if others did it? Possibly with regards time to myself. But mental health wise i needed to come to terms with not being able to exclusively breastfeed and needed to be the sole person to provide my daughters milk, however that may be.

The notion that dads and relatives need to feed a baby to bond with it is utter rubbish.

Your baby, your choice.

i mean this in a nice way but presumably you WANT people to love your kids, OP? If so, then you have to let them build a relationship with them. Otherwise you might get to a point where really, no one gives a shit about them. So I guess it’s your choice. Feeding a cute baby is one way your in-laws can build a relationship. If you don’t offer this, offer something else equally ‘fun’ and relationship building.

oh, and take your own fucking bins out ffs. That’s just fucking lazy of you and your husband.

God, by my 3rd, my eldest was giving the baby a bottle in their car seat on the school run 🤣 it is very precious, you still do the majority of the feeds. I completely agree with the extra pressure on mums these days and how God forbid they do anything that makes their life easier. We're still expected to go back to work after mat leave though!

Are you actually saying that the grandparents won’t love the baby or give a shit about it unless they’re allowed to give it a bottle when it’s a newborn?

😂😂😂😂😂

@Avondale89

So mum and dad don’t go out together without the baby for 6 months? Really? In what world? And for what possible reason?

In my world. Expand your horizons a little. For an entire 6 months I was his only source of nourishment and he went everywhere with me (bar if he had just fed and i could leave him with family until next feed). I'm not saying that to boast and I'm not saying it was easy but accept that people different to you exist.

I am referring to the many posts where people say they were told not to let others feed baby because it might harm bonding